Topic : 12/25 Parent Trap

First, let me say I am a female and I totally side financially with the man on this one.  He should NOT be financially responsible for this child.  I would like to see him stay emotionally involved with her for as long as they both want it to be a part of their lives.

 

The mother ought to be very ashamed of herself for what she did.  The child and the "emotional father", both, deserved to know the truth...now, how that worked out, I do not feel was the best way.

 

The child deserves to know who her biological father is - and he needs to know he has a child out there.  Perhaps he would have stepped up to the plate in the beginning....??  He should also take up the financial support.

 

Bottom line...........You play - you pay!  Even if he didn't know about the child, he obviously had unprotected sex.  Too bad if this upsets his life now - it is a sad thing, but it happened.....and again, here is another man that Maria lied to by not telling him about the child. 

 

Good for Mia for bringing this to her husbands' attention.  I hope she will not stand in the way if her husband and his "emotional daughter" want to have a relationship.

 

Too many men walk away from child support when it is their children.........but I do not believe people should pay for children that are not theirs, either!

 

 

I agree, every step should be taken to protect the child !  I also think its time the tide changed ! To many women only worry about the money-they take all they can,  and leave the man {many times} with no life of his own. If the child is not his--he should have a relationship but there should be no money involved. If the woman thinks she can't live without that "extra" money-get a job--get a second job. Why should she be different than a man that has to work 2 jobs to pay child support for a child that is or is not his ?? The laws need to be adjusted, they are to one sided.

I grew up in the '60s and to many times I heard someone make the remark, I'll marry him if I have to get pregnate to do it--Some of these are the ones that should/could do your show.

no justice--I would like to agree with you with one exception-I find that DR. PHIL demonstrates the desire to be there for the CHILDREN. I strongly feel  he does what he can for CHILDREN'S RIGHTS.  I'm sure you will agree with me.--THANX-1PAPA

 Hi i'm victim who was paying child supportand my x got in to trouble when my son was 3 and went on the run. I payed support for 9 mouths until the courts decided no duty of support. She would'n let me see my son. Now he's 30 and we don't  know each other. She would get welfare and they tried to make me pay. I think the system stink toward decent men. 

Truth is the mother is and should be held accountable for the initial mistake. She cheated! She knew that the child wasn't his. This isn't the Maury show, where a women tests 10 guys. She was very wrong. I think she knew the real father wouldn't contribute in anyway. This man had been taking care of her and thier children. It was an easy ride. I don't fully understand the whole child support thing. My husband pay a rediculous amount to his oldest sons mother. I know that it doesn't provide anything but shopping and weekends out for her. It's not fair! But, it happens! Regaurdless, supporting your child is a must. Supporting someone elses child, under the impression it is yours. Not cool! This shows the intergrity of the women. I feel she makes us look bad. It cheapins the family and bond they had. I undrstand how he felt hurt, used, and betrayed. He should have went about breaking the news to the girl differently. When you are all a child knows, it can be destrutive to thier world to do that. We all do things we regret at some time or another. It is clear that he wants to go back and maybe change his words to her on that day. No matter what he says, you can not turn feelings and love on-off. It is not a switch! He loves her. He just took the anger of the situation and used it. I haven't been faced with something like that. I have been betrayed by someone i love. It hurts, sure i said some things! Did i mean them, NO! It was just that point in time. But, dealing with a child is so much more complicated then that. The wrong words can cause so many issues.

I hope that he can find justice in the child support system. He should not have to pay! What is our country coming to when our laws say. so what! Do it anyway. The mother should allow a voluntary relationship. If the girl can see it to give him another chance. Hate and anger are a contagious disease. It can be spread like wildfire. All it takes it one spark, and those who keep feeding it! He admitted he was wrong. She admitted she was wrong. Everyone else stop pointing the finger. Let the healing begin! The women should start by showing good character and not accept anymore child support for her. I think that would help his healing. He should start by building a future with the child. Her forgiveness can benefit them both. After all we need to been healthy adults to rasie healthy kids. 

To me it is simple. The mother should not get the child support- the non-biological father, who must have been a trusting man to not do a paternity test-  should not be responsible to pay ANYONE child support for a child that is not theirs.  If the father has developed a true relationship, then he will CHOOSE to continue the relationship. That is up to him and him alone.  No court of law should reward dishonesty, and no court of law should penalize the innocent party (the father) and provide the guilty party money (the mother).   Court ordered child support is money that goes directly to the mother, not for the child.  It is up to an honest mother to use that money for her child- and the mother has already proven that she is not one to be trusted.

If the man chooses to adopt that child, then he could be ordered by the court to do something for that child.  No one can be 'ordered' to love a child- which is about what was being said.  If the paternity test shows that the man is not the father, then it is up to him to continue a relationship. It would be worse for the child to have a man forced to have a relationship with a child they decide they no longer love.

I believe that our courts would save time and money in biological child custody cases if  both parents were ordered to have a  50/50 visitation  (unless there is reason due to an unfit parent that would cause harm to the child).  If one or the other parent does not allow visitation, that should be treated the same way  non payment of child support is treated.  They are both court orders. 

Our legal system has given way too much power to the child- and have taught them how to manipulate parents and people in general.  I strongly believe that the worst thing a court can do is ask which parent the child wants to live with- that is true child abuse. NO CHILD should be asked to love one parent more, give one parent more time, or live with one parent over another.  This is where the true abuse comes in-

As long as child support is determined based on the amount of time a child spends with one parent over the other, AND there is nothing a court will do to enforce the child visitation (as set up today)- no penalty for denying visitation; our system will not work in the best interest of the child.  This child will feel most comfortable at "home" which is where he/she lives MOST of the time. Visitation is not a word that should be used by the court- Child guardianship and responsibility should be done by BOTH parents.

I would like to hear a discussion about what is "in the best interest of the child"-and what that phrase means.  It has been bantered back and forth for years, and yet I have never seen a court actually define it.  Any courtthat chooses one parent over another for the majority of visitation does not have the child's best interest in mind.  No child should be without a parent unless that parent dies, is abusive or unfit, or chooses not to see the child.  It should NEVER be about money!!

I liken maria to cruella devil as she wrings her hands , realizing her pre-medated scheme has hatched

eventually someone would open up enriques eyes, he would have to tell his daughter

( Which would eventually come ) and look like the bad guy. All the while having his heart ripped out of his chest while the mosquito lawyers buzzed around his head.

 

to maria's new husband one day that snake will bite you too. Its in their nature

 I can understand the fustration in this matter. I have a sister that did the same thing as Maria. Lied about who fathered her daughter, however what gave Enriguez wife to push him into doing that! Taking his daughter to the park and tell her in that way. If Enriguez's wife was so consern about his feelings what about the feelings of Selina's? He was selfish and so was she. The daughter was so innocent in this matter. All it seems is that Enriquez is worried about paying childsupport. He stated that he wanted to be in Selina's life again. But how can that happened when all he is worried about is the money, No Matter What  IT Comes Out TO Be... He Does'nt want to pay. And I do understand that.. believe it or not. No amount of money will take the pain away from what has happened to Selina's world. Shame on both sides for their selfishness in this matter. Next time thing about what will happened in the out come of messing with other peoples feelings.

This is completely tragic to all involved. I am not a father but in trying to put myself in the shoes of one, and this is how I see it.  The way Enrique told his daughter may have been wrong but it was not all his fault.....It is Marie's biological daughter......Where was Marie ? Why didn't she protect her little girl from finding out this way in the first place? Yes counciling would have been an excellent idea but they BOTH could have used it to get advice on how to tell the child.

This man seems to have put his heart and sole (yes money too) into the first ten years of "his daughter's" life but I don't think he would trade them years at all. Not for all the money in the world. Marie wants to take him, Dr. Him $$ for everything. If she cares about  the best interest of her daughter she should have never allowed him to sign away custody and instead ask Enrique to voluntarily remain in her life.  If he wanted to contribute financially great but without any legal obligation.  Chances are he would still be her "DAD" today. 

As far as the feminst attorney, she was fantastic. The way she backed herself into corners and changed topics because she couldn't find any ground to stand on, was fantastic. Sometimes wrong is just wrong, and her brilliant mind proved unarmed to fight on this topic.

One last opinion.....Unfortunately we can't change the past and although Enrique maybe crushed, his money for those ten years should be considered money well spent. Marie should be soley "legally" responsible for her daughter and seek out the biological father for his financial support in the future.

Marie hurt everyone and continues to destroy the young minds surrounding her due to her example. If she is able to win Enrique's support it wouldl be a disgrace........Marie should be doing her best to patch things up between Enrique and her daughter. If she needs more money........GET ANOTHER JOB!

The mom should have allowed the child to continue to have a relationship with enrique and  since deceived him, she should have insisted that he not pay any child support. In continuing his relationship with his daughter, I'm sure would have given to her from the heart and not from a sense of legal obligation.