Topic : 12/25 Parent Trap

My heart goes out to Selina who was put in this situation by her mother.  She should have never had to deal with this.  I'm a single mother and although the father has not paid child support- that has nothing to do with his relationship with our daughter- no matter how much people can hate him for it.  Read Bill Cosby's book "Come on People", he stresses putting the child first as well and how we need to let father figures in regardless of money.  This man should still be a father but I cringe when the ex wife is trying to make him pay!  He should be refunded!!!  A child is not something that we need to look at as being "paid" for!  Yes, they cost money but a child can be raised with surprisingly little money in a warm environment with opportunities for growth and education!  The child has no idea about money, they only know what relationships they have and how positive their role models and parental figures are!  This mother did a terrible thing!  Regardless of money- she should have told the truth- not to the child but to her husband.  How could she have let that go for 10 years???  I hope she lives with terrible guilt for what she has done to that young woman and her ex-husband.  I completely agree with Smith and was appalled at the woman lawyer for how stupid she looked on the show.  This is a common sense issue!  I hate how the law can be manipulated against common sense!  I never write messages but this issue is burning me up inside!!!

The black man was the smartest one on the show.  He was a breath of fresh air and did a better job than even Dr. Phil himself in my opinion. 

I think this black guy should start a movement, if he hasn't already.  I'm going to find his name and look him up to see what he has started doing.  I am sick of real fathers getting screwed over, it just shows how far the courts will go to give women all they want when they stick men with child support for a child they didn't create.  Courts awarding fraud perps by making fraud victims continue to pay.

That's the same things as saying that I should have noticed my identity being stolen sooner, so therefore I should pay.  A crook is a crook and fraud is fraud.  A crime is a crime and should be punished not rewarded.

Gloria Alred is a fraud and she had no valid points, she changed the subject when she was losing agains the black guy.  Any lawyer that would promote fraud is a loser in my book I don't want to read her book now that she has been exposed as a fraud perpertrator.  She made herself look like a total a$$ and she tried to defend it by saying it was in the best interest of the child.  Plllllleeeeaaaazzzzeee!!!!

Humble beginings never hurt anyone and it looks like Maria's kids are getting plenty of food on the table, are well dressed and had a nice home to live in.  Come on!!!  Just because Maria didn't want to identify the loser she concieved with Enrique should pay?  No way!  I'd sue her butt for fraud and mental suffering.  I'd use every dollar I had to bring about justice in my case.  I'd want to know Salina still and have a relationship with her if I was dooped into loving her as my own, but that shouldn't mean he has to pay a ransom to see her.

In 1999 I was a proud father and soon to be husband.  It seemed like the perfect start to a great life with a woman who I trusted and a son who carried the family name.  To me it seemed almost fairy tale...except this story has NO happily ever after. 
    You see shortly after the marriage the relationship began to erode(for reasons I still do not comprehend) when I left after being falsely accused, however not convicted of domestic battery the woman told me I would never see her son again.  Well a couple of months later she had calmed down and we had become legally separated, she had come back to town so that I could see my boy.  I was not home when she let herself in and began to rifle through my desk.  There she found some pictures of a female friend of mine that I was doing digital retouching of, these pictures were not of a lude nature they were actually her senior pictures and this young lady and I were just friends.  My soon to be ex-wife had a fit ripped all the pictures and then drove away from the house, at this moment I was walking down the road to meet her she attempted to run me over with the car I was still paying for got out of the car began hitting me with a plastic coffee mug, etc.  The situation worsened my brother called 911 and she took off.  Because she had my son I went to where the police had found her, a mutual friend’s house.  I was told by them that I could not take the boy because he is not my son the police had other things to say but in the interest of the young child I merely stuck around until his mother's parents arrived to pick him up.  This was the last time I saw him the year was 2001 and he was 2 and 1/2 years old. 
    Since then I have remarried and had another child who looks nothing like his older half brother, my new wife being an acquaintance of my x wife told me then that it might be a good idea to have a paternity test done.  We paid for the test one with all the bells and whistles the most accurate test possible and a complete chain of custody so that it would be admissible in a court of law, in case he wasn't my son after all.  After nearly a month of chewing my fingernails to shreds the letter had come from the DNA testing center that said there was 0% probability of paternity and that the child was unquestionably not mine. 
    Ok so what's next?  I went to the local attorney general and spoke with one of the deputy AGs and was told that there was nothing they could do they just handle the enforcement of my payments according to the divorce decree and that I would need to hire a lawyer in order to over turn any such judgment against me.  Lawyers are terribly expensive and when you are losing nearly a third of your income it is impossible to take care of current bills let alone things like a 2-3 thousand dollar retainer for a lawyer who isn't even willing to guarantee success.
    In order to be able to take care of my family's needs we left to another state which allowed me 9 months to be able to financially support my wife and son, once child support caught up with me again we moved again, this cycle seems to repeat every 6 months or so but the cost of moving is so expensive that by time we recoup from that and are able to begin saving child support enforcement catches up again and because I have refused to pay since the time I leered that the child was not mine each time the amount that is garnished from my check gets larger and larger.
    Now I am weary of running, I make 40,000 per year and am losing 500 a month to child support after that is gone I now have enough money to pay rent and utilities but I cannot feed MY FAMILY or afford gas to get to work to make what money they have left me with.   So what do I do next the depression of not being able to provide for my family has me at a physical and emotional breaking point every time I look at their beautiful faces.  All of this is because even though I am truly NOT the father the mother refuses to allow me to go on with my life. At this point with the detriment it is causing my family she has committed a crime almost as horrible as if she were to show up at my door at murder me.
    Any suggestions on how to fix this problem without spending money that I cannot come up with and do not have would be greatly appreciated. 

Someday this daughter will realize that the only person who lied to her is her "biological" mother.  She should not be mad at the man who thought she was his daughter and supported and loved her for all those years under the fraudulent guise the mother created.  He was devastated, he did not tell her the truth vindictively he told he out of honesty.  I also do not think it feasable to go track down a man who did NOT know he is her Biological father and get support from him either.  Why should he have to pay support to a child that the mother never let him know or love?!  This mother did not only deceive Enrique, and the biological father but mostly she deceived her own daughter!  The mother created this situation from the start and she should not receive support from anybody because of the fraud involved.  She should have to pay Enrique back and serve jail time.  The laws need to be changed and congratulations to the one man in the country who finally got justice.  He made Gloria Allred look like an idiot. 

I am a 16 year old and saw this episode with Paternity Fraud.  I am in a similar situation.  When my mom was 22 she met a man, my biological father, when she became pregnate she knew that he was not ready to be a father and left.  She told him that she was leaving so she did not just one day get up and leave.  She was not looking to date anyone but happend to start dating another man.  I lived with him until I was 6 then my mom and I moved out.  I always see him and consider him my father.  I do not see my biological father much and do not wish to see him.  He payed child support for a while and then quit his job and became unemployed due to a back injury.  Now he says that he cannot pay child support because he doesn't have money.  Yet since his back injury made him quit his other job he is now a bouncer at a bar and doesn't seem to have trouble doing that.  He applied for disabillity but will not return the forms.  He went to jail one time for not paying and I think that he should go again for not paying.  He has never really been part of my life but the person that I call dad is not even my father but he is the best father anyone could ever ask for.  My mom stays at home and my step-dad works and pays all of the bills.  Sometimes we have some financial problems and that extra money from child support could come in handy.  I think that the man on your show should not have to pay child support if  it is not his child but should not have disconnected Salina from his life.  She had him as a father for 10 years and he should not have done that.  I think that the biological father should pay the money not him but at least don't disconnect from her life.

I guess you still have the paternity test?  Go to court and represent yourself.  You can't trust the lawyers anyway.  Go to the university near you that has a law school and find the legal library and find a law student there that can help you find the right cases to bring up as well as state statutes for the state that is garnishing your wages for child support. 

You will have to go to court and read the statute outloud to the judge in order to keep  him honest.  You will have to point out how the previous ruling went against the statute.  That being you aren't even the father, the real father needs to be in court.  There are other statutes, laws, and cases you will need to be able to quote for the judge.  You need to have your paternity test results there as well.  Find the case won by the man on the Dr. Phil show the other day and that should help you find out what he used in court.   

You do not have access to the child, nor are you the father of the child.  It is really a matter of finding an honest judge (hard to do in family courts).  You'll have to do as the black man on the show did and not stop until you win.  I doubt your ex has a lot of money to keep fighting for a fraud she has committed against you.  I'd write every representative in your state and every family court judge and make them aware of your case.  I'd see every good attorney before she knew I was going to sue her and take her into court then she couldn't hire those attorneys.  I'd request that she pay for my attorney fees because she knowingly lied and created the situation where litigation had to continue, costing you money. 

I'd look up the man that was on the show and find out all he did to be successful in his case.  Then I'd do what he did.  I don't know if this guy had a lot of money for lawyers or not, but I have known some men who have won their cases without lawyers to get child support lowered and get visitation.  Your case is different than theirs as you aren't the real father and it sounds like you aren't going to try to have a relationship with the child at this point.  I guess your heart was broken and you have moved on, understandable.

You'll need legal help, it will cost you less if you get a law student to help you set up a good case.  Even a good lawyer would be worth it, do the math!  If you are avoiding child support save some of that cash and go to court and fight that vile woman.

Once I got the payments stopped I sue her for the total plus emotional suffering and make her pay interest and I would press charges of fraud on her.  If the district attorney would not move forward then I would make sure every newspaper and every news outlet in the state got word of it all at the same time. 

Once in a while a lawyer takes a case pro-bono, maybe you can find someone who is passionate about this sort of thing and wants to take the case or help you to represent yourself.

Good luck with your case!!! (disclaimer - I am not a lawyer or legal student, I am just interested in father's rights and those who get stuck with less rights than the average person because they are accused of being a father).

cheers!

Equal Rights?  Is that a new concept?  I doubt that is PC, better not talk about it. LOL  Men have no rights especially once they concieve and apparently if they do not concieve but are accused they will  have no rights either.

God bless the U.S.A. !!!!!!!!!!!  We need a lot of lousy judges off the bench is all I can say.  We need some stiff laws and to overhaul family courts, family law, and divorce laws.  They are all lopsided in favor of the woman and create a climate ripe for abuse. 

Ther is no doubt that the emotional issues are important . And put the Father on a guilt trip because of the conflict.

The Wife's issue is the money, not the child.

The childs issue is not the money but emotional.

The father can still have the emotional relationship, without financial one.

The child can still have the relationship without the money.

What does the Mother have?  The money.  The money. the money.