Topic : 12/25 Parent Trap

I hardly ever watch Dr. Phil, but this show had me frozen to the tv.  Of course, the kids are always the ones that lose the most.  And yes, I agree that Enrique handled the situation wrong.  He should have never taken his daughter to the park how he did and told her, etc....of that he is ENTIRELY wrong.  But he is ENTIRELY right in that financially, he owes nothing!!!  If Maria was woman enough to have an affair and get pregnant, then she should have been woman enough to admit to Enrique that the daughter was not his from the beginning.  And she should be woman enough to not hold him financially responsible.  Why doesn't she get off her lazy rear-end and go find the real father of her child and hold HIM financially responsible?  I'll tell you why she doesn't...it's so much easier for her to hold Enrique responsible because he's convenient, and he's only a bank account to her.  While Enrique is to be faulted how he handled the situation with his daughter...he is not to be faulted for how it handled it with his ex-wife. 

I CAN'T BELIEVE THE NERVE OF THIS WOMAN! I AM SAD FOR HER DAUGHTER IS PAYING THE PRICE FOR HER MOTHERS MISTAKE, BUT I WOULD HOPE THE MOTHER CAN SEE HOW IT IS COMPLETELY HER FAULT HER DAUGHTER WILL SUFFER FOR THE REST OF HER LIFE BECAUSE OF THE CHOICE THAT SHE MADE. LIKE THE SAYING GOES 'YOU MAKE YOUR BED,NOW SLEEP IN IT.' THE MOTHER SHOULD PAY BACK EVERY PENNY TO THE 'FATHER' THAT WAS LIED TO 

I am a victim of this behavior. While I was away on a west-pac cruise in the Navy, my then girlfriend was sleeping with other men. (I didn't know it at the time, but she has a talent for making you believe whatever she wants you to believe) I came home 7 months later and was with her for 2 weeks before returning to the naval base. A few months later she had told me she was pregnant and assured me that it was mine. I really did not have any grounds to believe otherwise, but I did question whether or not he was mine - she adamantly assured me that I was indeed the father. Based on my misguided trust, I married her a month prior to her giving birth. 2 years later we had another child. 15 months later she was pregnant yet again and at that time told me that our youngest child was not mine, and that she had lied to me all along. I had to make a decision then to stay with her, despite the betrayal, or walk away, leaving my illegitimate and legitimate sons and another to come with a broken home. Reluctanlty, I stayed in the marriage, trying to make the best of the situation, but felt little compassion for my wife. It was next to impossible to feel emotional toward her, as the trust and respect was destroyed. 8 years of marriage and she left me for another man. She felt that she could not live with me, as my progression of healing was occuring too slow. During the entire time I never treated our son any different than my two others. I never felt anguish or resentment toward him, as I had only known him as my own. Needless to say my ex-wifes' new relationship did not work out as planned. She married and divorced once again, which once again took a toll on our children. My willingness to stand by my marriage and son, despite the mistrust, deception and betrayal ended up being the best thing that ever happened to me, as I have contentment in my heart. My son loves me and knows in his heart that I did everything in my power to keep us together. He loves me as his dad and I love him as my son. In a nutshell - you reap what you sow. As a result of living with the guilt and selfishness, my ex-wife lives in turmoil to this day. Sometimes it takes years for it all to come out in the wash but sooner or later, living a good life or living a bad life, will come back to revisit you. To my ex-wifes' credit, she feels that I am not financially responsible for her son. I don't know if that is her way of healing herself, or if she genuinely feels as such - as I have implied, she has a talent for lying.

From how I see it, a womans experience of bearing children, deciding whether or not to abort it, give it up for adoption, taking the morning-after pill, lying to provide a fathers support, etc...does not come without responsibility. Making these decisions are critical in that childs life. The reward in making good choices are observed in the bonds mothers share with their children, as they are absolutely priceless. But the consequences of making bad choices are sometimes detrimental to everyone involved. Men cannot experience child bearing, decide on abortion, etc... and therefore do not hold the high responsibilities that women do. Not so strangely, fathers, although do share priceless bonds with their children, are generally considered secondary when compared to a mothers bond. This is not to belittle a fathers bond with thier children, but to emphasize the pros and cons a woman must consider when she contemplates deception with fatherhood.

Dr. Phil is right - the child is the highest priority.

Gloria Allred is flat-out wrong to defend this woman though - a true defense of the child, who she claims she is so concerned about - would include a penance for the lying, deceitful mother.  Without reparation on her part, what does the child learn about lying, cuckolding men, and her worth as something other than a child-support check to her mother.

I liked the work of Carnell - men must pay their part when they leave the mother of their children, but they should also be protected from women who commit fraud and lie about who the father of their child is... these women should face the same penalties as dead-beat dads.

Enrique should be entitled to, and encouraged to have a relationship with the child he raised as his own for 10 years.  The mother should apologize to the child and Enrique and return the child support money she took.  Dr. Phil should remind the child that the mother did wrong and that  though both parents made mistakes, they both love her and should be allowed and encouraged to participate in her life. 

Sadly, the mother's lying and deceit reduces credibility of women everywhere - she feels safe admitting her lies and guilt because she knows that she has no price to pay when in fact all the family's trials belong at her doorstep.  If women want the courts to support them and enforce laws against deadbeat dads, then women need to realize that the law must protect the victims in all situations, and "cuckolders" must pay restitution, and women who commit fraud to make innocent men pay for someone else's child (the men aren't the only willing partners in these sexual affairs that result in a pregnancy), should also have legal action taken against them.

One of the issues your show neglected to raise concerns the motives of the "new" wife. What selfish need was she fulfilling by blabbing her suspicions and encouraging the paternity test?

I'm pretty sure my husband of 12 years is not the biological father of his youngest child. No savings in child support would be worth the pain it would cause both of them to find this out. Sometimes there's a reason men don't spot what seems pretty obvious to the rest of us. If she loved Enrique - clearly she didn't love Selena - she would have kept her mouth shut.

A relationship between a father and a child is a gift of a lifetime.  What a shock it would be to find out at any point in time that a child you were told was yours by someone you loved and trusted with all your heart was not yours.  Needless to say, the deceit would be a very difficult thing, for a man, to work through.  The father and child would need to talk about the deceit and work through the issues to decide whether to continue the relationship or not. 

If a woman places herself in a position, that she can rob a man of money, his hopes and dreams, and the experience of a life then she is responsible.  She should be held responsible by the court of law like any other grand theft criminal in the USA.  How is this criminal act any different then stealing, or robbing someone.

In no way, should the government have the ability to force a man to be financially responsible for a child that is not his.  It should be the man’s right to continue any financially support should he choose. 

So in our courts eyes.  It is OK that a man’s life is destroyed.  The woman benefits because she chooses the guy, out of who knows how many potential sex partners, the one man she believes would bear the financial responsibility to pay for her irresponsibility.

THIS IS WRONG!!!!