Topic : Defining Your Authentic Self

the interesting medium of the sea, like the internet.  Life lived in the shells, they are filled with the smell and, even sound of the sea.  We know or can guess who inhabited it, just like ancient times, That is real history.     

the shell that they lived in, the space, their uniqueness. 

You are not alone.  Many posters have stated the same thing -- they do not remember.  

That's why reading the book from front to cover allows you to understand the overall process and you may have to do what I did.  After reading the book and doing the exercises (I didn't do the 10 defining moments, I did 1-3), I gave myself permission to just read the book so I can understand what / where he was taking me.   In my case, I've been doing healing work since 1991 so I have so many different ways of looking at everything. 

Once I had finished reading the book, I sat down with the book ,it's WORKBOOK companion and my list of goals that I had been wanting to do for over 20 years.  I decided to do SEWING and began to pay attention to what I was saying to myself.  It was the hardest work I had ever done on me! 

Dawn, we have written well-written tapes thta go off when we go to do what's important to us.  Like did you ever say you were going to lose weight, or start exercising, or save money and then find yourself 3 months later unhappy cause the very next morning you just walked away from doing it? 

1st:  the 3 months later is your pattern 

2nd: the walking away from doing it are the well written tapes 

Self Matters helps you to listen - that is if you commit to focusing on it.  I decided why not!  If it was working for those folks on TV than it might work for me.  The only thing I had never actually done was commit -- I spent months focusing on listening and then remembering.  Sometimes, I never could link to the past.  I just allowed myself to have something surface and I dealt with it.   

He teaches you MER which has been the best tool I've ever learned!! 

Don't fret that you can't remember -- you'll remember when you begin to peel away the layers that keep you from living your authentic life style. 

I believe that we choose the lessons we are to learn while we are in heaven -- and that there are milestones that we hit that help guide us.  My milestone was the day I wanted to die. Hell, I spent the next 5-8 years terrified of going over a steel beamed bridge.   That's how I wanted to end my life -- just drive over the side.  Thank god the area I live in doesn't have those type of bridges anymore! 

In my family, my mom was always trying to socialize me.  Problem is, I'm an intravert.  And I'm so totally different than her and yet in some ways, I am much like her.   My mom was pawned off to relatives for years and years - she really never experienced a healthy family life style.  For that matter, neither did my dad.   

The bottom line is:  my parents did the very best they could have - it wasn't their fault they hadn't been given the necessary tools to raise 6 kids.  Hell, if I had been an only child, I still would have been screwed up!  It's just the way of life. 

However, just think how amazing our planet is going to be -- in 10 years, more and more people are awakening to the fact that there is a way to live in peace within themselves.  It's going to take people like us who are doing Self Matters and committing to a better world. 

What we are becoming are the EXAMPLES.   People are going to be able to connect to us because they see an example.  We are going to have our experiences to show others how we have matured, how we have let of the ADDICTIVE pain and finally found happiness (peace & calm of the mind and soul). 

I'm a firm believer that teachers come to you when you really truly need them.  Years ago, my ex and I had his friends over and he began to berate me.  It was so embarrassing!  A couple of days later, PBS had this show about communication and they showed these 2 girls (about 5-6) in a room talking. They sat on the chairs facing themselves.  Then they showed 2 boys about the same age doing the same except they were playing with toys. 

They went on to explain that every time they put girls in the room together, they always had to look into each other eyes.  However, with boys it was totally different.   

So I decided to test the theory.  I came home the next night, mute the TV, never looked my ex in the eyes and told him how I felt.  Then I got up.  I didn't express anger, I didn't condemn. I simply said -- when you did this.... I felt ....   I asked him not to do it again.    HE NEVER DID!  and he never got mad either!  He heard me because I was talking to him.   

I believe the program was called HE SAID, SHE SAID.   For me it has worked.  I've used it on my brother and at work a few times too.    

I know that there are people whose parents knew what they were doing and you are from one of them.  And you were even lucky to be never experienced a trauma that you had to sort out on your own as a child.   People such as yourself are out there!   I'm glad that you are one of them. 

However, I experienced quite a bit of trauma in my 8th year of living and being the eldest of 5 (at the time), my parents didn't have the emotional balance to deal with helping me work thru it as they were dealing with the medical bills that my sister's near-death bought into their lives.  In fact, we lost our home that year due to them.   

Whatever my authentic self was when my 8th year started was lost by the time we moved from our home the following fall.   And then I took my truth from another adult at church -- BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO EVIL PEOPLE.   Well, being all grown up at 8, I took those GOD words as my truth and then proceeded to live to them the rest of my life until I found the tools in Self Matters that showed me where I had gotten so far off track.  

I'm happy that you experienced a wonderful childhood and parents/family/environment that allowed you to grow up knowing who you are and not living to a lie like I did.  You are really lucky and should be proud that you were given such a wonderful and unique gift. 

Hi Teri, the 1st batch of chocolate chips & peanut butter turned out great!  Yesterday, we ran around searching for stuff for the next batches.  Even bought rum for rum cookies for my mom and her friends.   

Today, my sister/friend is coming over and we are going to make 3-4 other types.  She's in 7th heaven and a little upset that I don't like cookies.  Yes, I know, I'm obese and don't like cookies, pies, or cakes!  I like the quick junk foods -- wow -- that's something I never knew before!  My mom is a lousy cook and the only thing I ever remember her making was box cakes & cupcakes.   

I'm finding that cooking calms me - like my sewing does.  I'm also discovering that I like being a home body and keeping my home neat and organized.  Which is completely not the way my mom was.  My mom worked when I was a kid!  She hated being home!  I like it. I can't wait for this summer to play around in my yard.  I'm hoping I can finally play at putting in a vegetable garden!  I've always wanted to do it; however, I've only THOUGHT about it!