Topic : Defining Your Authentic Self

Quote From: ritehere

 I just had a birthday, (49 whoo hoo!) and I vegetated the whole day. I slept in, sat around, had the family wait on me and fix my meals. It was heavenly! You need these once in awhile, especially after the holidays.
Isn't it funny how your ear becomes attuned to the truth of things after awhile? In your case, it was your mother commenting on being poor. I do that too now, I question the truth of things around me much more than I did before.

It's what "getting it" is all about.

Quote From: red_white

A set of circumstances has made it impossible for me to ignore my need to go through SELF MATTERS. We are all at different stages in the process, I realize. I will be a willing, although somewhat quiet participant here for now.

Approaching this new direction is both an exhilarating and fearsome experience. Some of you may reach out because you have been where I am today. Im trusting your wisdom and hope to learn much here. You remember what this first day is like. Dont you? Tomorrow --Chapter 1-- WHAT IF...? Kathy

Quote From: teri_id

Marcia, 

  

My boyfriend/mate, or man-friend as you put it, is working through Life Strategies as well as Harville Hendrix's "Keeping the Love You Find."  He is currently reading "Family Matters" as well.  We do a daily meditation together with Harville Hendrix's "Getting the Love you Want" couple's companion.  It is a nice little book with a short page a day that helps us work together.   

  

You know, I am really glad you asked about this.  I look at Erv's and my relationship and I am pretty amazed how much we work on our relationship together.  We fight sometimes quite horribly, yet it boils down to respecting each other's boundaries and listening.   

  

Each day we start out we touch with each other, letting us know we are valued.  We have deep discussions in the hot tub each day...which is outside.  So, we sit and watch the Elk on the hill and talk about us.  We actively work towards being a couple who feels like we could be married.  It seems there is some hesitancy on my part, and I am not sure why, yet I think it has a lot to do with my financial baggage.  I am still working to pay off my son's medical bills from before I was divorced.  I am not working, I live off an allowance so to speak, so it takes a long time to pay off ten thousand dollars with basically100 dollars a month.  I am getting there, though.  I figure when that is clear, I will feel better about combining forces, so to speak.  My kids are getting better about talking about him and wanting to know him.  Their dad really messed that up and I allowed myself to be bullied by him.  Sigh....mistakes made....work ahead. 

  

I see that if I have a chance at longevity with anyone, it is Erv.  We are both willing to work on things together and we both know if we were to end our relationship, we would just take the same stuff with us to the next one unless we commit to change within ourselves.  This is why we figure we work well together.  Plus, I am head over heels in love with him most of the time, and after 5 years I still get crushes on him...which I think is pretty wonderful.   

  

Oh, I don't know if I mentioned this before, but there is an 18 year difference between us.... 

Teri 

Quote From: teri_id

Linda, 

  

Happy late birthday.  I am sneaking up on one myself.  I normally love birthdays.  I love to celebrate people.  I have not enjoyed my birthday as much the last few years, yet I still enjoy everyone else's!   

  

My mother told me a the year I got divorced that my birthday was not a significant day in her mind as she was not there. (I was adopted at age 3)  You know, even as an "adult" that hurt quite deeply.  I have tried to shake it off, yet for some reason, it hangs out with me.  I suppose it will until I let it go.   

  

To me birthdays are the most important holiday, because the remind me how ALIVE I am, especially after so many times I should not have been.  I think they became important to me the year I tried to shoot myself in the head and missed.  I still carry a scar on my temple from the powder burn.  I was 15 and very, very sad.  Since that day, I realized I was not meant to die.  So, I really like to celebrate LIFE.   

  

So, Linda, 

HAPPY LATE BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!!  You deserve to be waited upon and doted upon. 

Teri 

Quote From: ifonly2004

hey not sure if i am posted in the wrong  one but....i am 25 years old and have a wonderful husband and two beautiful children..recently we had a accident and have to go out and but plan b pills i ended taking the last pill one and half hour late..then we ended up have sex  again got  carried away and  that brings it to why im here. 

   i had this feeling that i might be pregnant so i got a home pregnancy test and i came back positive ..my worst dream...my husband and i had stated that we  would wait till we had acheived out goals before having another one and i told him that if it were to happen that i would have a abortion..thinking that it would never come true....when i told him he just stated to wait that the test could be wrong( i toke pregnancy tests for both of my children and were right)..to wait another week take another test and then if came back positive would  "take care"of it. 

   I feel like its murder and never thought i would do something like that, he said that its no big deal that its so small a couple days old that he doesnt feel like its wrong. 

 I need advice ..is it wrong to feel  like i am killing one of children but at the same time i am not ready to have another baby ,but also am scared of how i will feel once it is done...HELP  PLEASE 

Quote From: teri_id

Marcia, 

  

My boyfriend/mate, or man-friend as you put it, is working through Life Strategies as well as Harville Hendrix's "Keeping the Love You Find."  He is currently reading "Family Matters" as well.  We do a daily meditation together with Harville Hendrix's "Getting the Love you Want" couple's companion.  It is a nice little book with a short page a day that helps us work together.   

  

You know, I am really glad you asked about this.  I look at Erv's and my relationship and I am pretty amazed how much we work on our relationship together.  We fight sometimes quite horribly, yet it boils down to respecting each other's boundaries and listening.   

  

Each day we start out we touch with each other, letting us know we are valued.  We have deep discussions in the hot tub each day...which is outside.  So, we sit and watch the Elk on the hill and talk about us.  We actively work towards being a couple who feels like we could be married.  It seems there is some hesitancy on my part, and I am not sure why, yet I think it has a lot to do with my financial baggage.  I am still working to pay off my son's medical bills from before I was divorced.  I am not working, I live off an allowance so to speak, so it takes a long time to pay off ten thousand dollars with basically100 dollars a month.  I am getting there, though.  I figure when that is clear, I will feel better about combining forces, so to speak.  My kids are getting better about talking about him and wanting to know him.  Their dad really messed that up and I allowed myself to be bullied by him.  Sigh....mistakes made....work ahead. 

  

I see that if I have a chance at longevity with anyone, it is Erv.  We are both willing to work on things together and we both know if we were to end our relationship, we would just take the same stuff with us to the next one unless we commit to change within ourselves.  This is why we figure we work well together.  Plus, I am head over heels in love with him most of the time, and after 5 years I still get crushes on him...which I think is pretty wonderful.   

  

Oh, I don't know if I mentioned this before, but there is an 18 year difference between us.... 

Teri 

Quote From: ifonly2004

hey not sure if i am posted in the wrong  one but....i am 25 years old and have a wonderful husband and two beautiful children..recently we had a accident and have to go out and but plan b pills i ended taking the last pill one and half hour late..then we ended up have sex  again got  carried away and  that brings it to why im here. 

   i had this feeling that i might be pregnant so i got a home pregnancy test and i came back positive ..my worst dream...my husband and i had stated that we  would wait till we had acheived out goals before having another one and i told him that if it were to happen that i would have a abortion..thinking that it would never come true....when i told him he just stated to wait that the test could be wrong( i toke pregnancy tests for both of my children and were right)..to wait another week take another test and then if came back positive would  "take care"of it. 

   I feel like its murder and never thought i would do something like that, he said that its no big deal that its so small a couple days old that he doesnt feel like its wrong. 

 I need advice ..is it wrong to feel  like i am killing one of children but at the same time i am not ready to have another baby ,but also am scared of how i will feel once it is done...HELP  PLEASE 

Quote From: ifonly2004

hey not sure if i am posted in the wrong  one but....i am 25 years old and have a wonderful husband and two beautiful children..recently we had a accident and have to go out and but plan b pills i ended taking the last pill one and half hour late..then we ended up have sex  again got  carried away and  that brings it to why im here. 

   i had this feeling that i might be pregnant so i got a home pregnancy test and i came back positive ..my worst dream...my husband and i had stated that we  would wait till we had acheived out goals before having another one and i told him that if it were to happen that i would have a abortion..thinking that it would never come true....when i told him he just stated to wait that the test could be wrong( i toke pregnancy tests for both of my children and were right)..to wait another week take another test and then if came back positive would  "take care"of it. 

   I feel like its murder and never thought i would do something like that, he said that its no big deal that its so small a couple days old that he doesnt feel like its wrong. 

 I need advice ..is it wrong to feel  like i am killing one of children but at the same time i am not ready to have another baby ,but also am scared of how i will feel once it is done...HELP  PLEASE