Topic : Defining Your Authentic Self

Procrastination is my downfall every time.  I keep telling myself I'm doing so well; then I do a little exercise ... like asking myself:  WHEN WILL I BE ...     

The last time was me asking myself:  WHEN WILL BE REDISCOVERED?  and saw so many things I just won't focus on and of course, I'm just going around in circles going no where fast or even slow.   

I love the PROCRASTINATION piece.  It was short and to the point of exactly where I am right now.   It also had a fix for my BINGING when I get close to my weight loss goal.  It's all about what I'm saying to myself and I have to remember to listen to it and deal with it. 

But IBMs and NUTs was just too perfect!  Yesterday, as I was chasing Zeke (my dog) to let go of the squirrel, I actually heard myself say:  this is an IBM.   Today when they told me about Moxie and what I'm going to need to do to have her keep her tail, well once again, I heard myself say:  THIS IS MANAGEABLE. 

Do you know of any more?  I really want to collect these!  I don't want to read any more books.  My article method is working just great!  I pull them out of magazines and put them in my bathroom.  Then pull them out when I want something to read.  They are short and I can move on with my life. I'm just so tired of reading self-help books .. aren't you? 

I rarely refer to his books anymore.  I got the cognitive behavior techniques down pat.  I used books to help me work thru various stages.   Like when I was reading Keys 1 & 2, I turned to Martha Beck's THE JOY DIET ...  she teaches a 15 minutes of doing NOTHING which was just more help than what Dr. Phil covers in his books - although he does suggest we learn to do this in Key 2. 

I turned to Stephen Covey when I kept running into so much pain with goals. I figured that I needed a fresh perspective (as I've read Chapter 2 in WLS over 2 times when I started on the 3rd time back in the fall of 04).  I turned to Self Matters for dealing with Keys 1 & 2. 

I turned to articles and TV shows, to help me with Keys 3 & 4.   

Right now, I'm using PORTION TELLER for the step in Key 5 on portions.   

I think you can only read Weight Loss Solutions so many times before you realize that if the behavior still persists you need help. 

NOW, I'm using magazine articles and shows that help me with just 1 small change. Like when I watched Oprah's 90-DAY FOOD PLAN show and Dr. Oz said to cut back on High Fructose Corn Syrup.  I had already been practicing saturated & trans fat because of my health scare back in March.  The complex sugar vs simple sugars is Dr. Phil's Key 3, Step 2 -- I've been practicing that as well for the last few years.  However, he helped me to understand why this step was so important. 

And like you, I seem to recieve the answers quickly and without having to pour thru books and books.  Like me receiving IBMs and NUTs.  I needed those to deal with my current "new behavior change". 

I really am so thankful I did Self Matters and then committed the time and energy to learn the technique with my sewing goal and then using it for Key 4, Step 2 -- Impules & Urges.  It was such a valuable tool in learning to deal with my refusal to bring closure in my life and live in constant pain 24/7.   My life isn't painful and I know this is my 3rd year and final year of this intense self-healing journey.  That come my birthday, I'll have opened my arms to new goals that I never knew I wanted to do because I lived in pain and the same old neverending cycle of self-abuse. 

I believe that we choose our lessons before we enter this plane and then spend the time we have here working thru those issues.  I know that GOD DOES NOT GIVE ME ANYTHING I CAN NOT HANDLE.  and that when I choose to take a different path, GOD will challenge me with events to see if I'm serious about the journey I'm about to take.   

any way, Judgement is a human gig. 

I was your typical person -- I believed everything ever told to me ....  and as a child I was given the challenge of religion - it was something I had to work out within me ...  at 4.5 years old, my parents enrolled me in a catholic school and on Sundays I went to a Methodist sunday school. I was taught early on that there was just 1 god, 1 jesus -- and that man/women made up rules about them.  There's not enough time or space for me to tell you of the challenges I experienced as a child.  Both did real numbers on my head.  In fact, it was at sunday school that I learned I was evil.  Cause only bad things happen to bad people.  So I was molested at 8 years old and told those words soon afterwards.   

And the truth is, bad things happen to good people by people.   I now know that people when they are hurting will lash out and hurt others.  It's their child that still rules -- adults don't do that ... they have ways of dealing with life.  I learned that from Self Matters.   I don't hurt people anymore - well, I hope not anyway.  However, I also know now that what I do and say and think can influence others because of where they are on their journey. That there's no way I can be held accountable because I'm just living my life.  I know that I have internalized things said & done to me and later found out the person has no memory of it.  It's just me internalizing what I THINK IT MEANT and the truth is it was just nothing.   

Now, I have tapes that remind me that the person is having a bad hair day and they don't mean what they say or do.  It helps me to not internalize.   

Linda, do you find that truthful? 

Does anyone no how to effectively deal with bordom?  I don't look forward to doing anything in mylife because I feel a bored 24/7.  During 6 years of college, and 5 different majors, I don't remember enjoying one lecture.  I've not skipped out of 5 interviews since may, and It's such a drag to get up.  I don't wanna kill my self or anything, but damn, does life have to feel this way?  Most people say I'm bored because I don't drink.  Is life only about tipping a beer can?