Topic : Defining Your Authentic Self

Brenda, 

First of all, again a deep thank you for you candidness.  I agree, those who make poor choices should be held accountable for their actions, regardless.  If it is a choice, we have the capacity to make it, if that makes sense.   

I hold my ex responsible for all of his behavior.  I have worked in the Developmental Disability, Mental Health field for many years.  I have learned there are limits to organic issues with mental health, yet nobody has a free ticket to abuse, stalk, threaten, endanger or toxify anyone else.   

I had written a response yesterday to your post but it was lost when I posted it as for some reason the site signed me out.  It was quite a bit longer and had a lot of very personal stuff in it.  At this point I realize that what I need to say is thank you.  I feel as if someone "heard" me, and that means the world to me.  Thank you.  You are a blessing.   

Teri 

Hi , My corner of the world is full of sunshine one day , rain the next . I have read some of things you have posted , You touched my heart deeply with Your feelings . Every time I am down , And it seems there is no one around , My tears flow like a stream , As the emptiness grows - Darkness seems to be a companion . Yet ! I keep telling myself that No matter what is set before me . I will overcome it . Because I choose to do so . Let me tell You right now that You are a very bright and intelligent , with a gift - that will lead You to many lighted roads . You have the most beautiful and thoughtful ways of showing your feeling . Keep moving forward , You can do what ever You set out to do . Until next week - With Love - Lynn   

      Like you mentioned " This is the only way to keep me healthy and society safe. Some people think it's horrible that I would do that, but I know the reality.   I showed your messages to my husband last night, when he came home from work, and I can't tell you the good you did him letting us know that we are not alone in our fight to keep dangerous, unhealthy people in his family, OUT OF OURS. 

    I think it went a long way to helping him feel better about his choices.  He's been called an "Abandoner", "Evil" Selfish" because he won't bend to their demands to suck our family into their daily chaos.  I think you helped him find a peace with his choices, and that their opinion does not matter at all.  They are sick, they for the most part refuse to see it, or get the help they need.  

People do think it's horrible, and as you said  "Those people can feel as they desire" They don't deal with the lies and the games and the emergency calls.  

There are people who just want to dig an emotional bunker and jump inside. They think if they put up enough walls, they'll always be safe. The irony is that instead of locking others out, they are actually locking themselves in. They may avoid a few things that make life difficult, but in the end, they also miss out on all the wonderful things that make life worth living.  

--Bradley Trevor Grieve   

And we get to decipher what that is.  I am learning that wisdoms come in many ages.   

As I read your posts, I find a reference to a map.  A life map is such a wonderful tool!  My boyfriend/mate and I were discussing goals, and how they are much like maps.  We see where we are, put the proverbial "X", and then we mark where we want to be.  How we get there, however, is just a detail that works out as we go along.  Often there are many ways to reach the same destination.  Freeway is usually the most direct, yet often not very picturesque.  Sometimes we can find side roads that take us through the interesting places, yet are smooth.  Then we can take the back roads, which can be rough, hard to navigate through, yet almost always with a spectacular view.  Each way of reach the goal is right, yet maybe not each way is right for each individual.   

I triage my goals and decide my routes based upon the urgency I place upon them.  I have only one goal right now that I feel requires the "freeway", the rest are back-road types of goals.  I want to know my path intimately, and I want to fill it with interesting people, and I want to hear the music as I go along. 

Teri