Topic : Defining Your Authentic Self

I think things like stress.  How this needs to be coped with.  That's one of my reasons for writing, which I didn't even realise that.  Stress is like food, we are what we take in, and less is much better, and also the right type and when one needs it.  No coincidence that the stresses are less when one hybernates, as the need for food lessens.  After all, food is the body's way of dealing with stress.   An unstressed person can go without.  A stressed person could have an ulcer in one day.  And influenza in three.  Be dead before the end of 7 days.

All for now

Taemanai

Change of tyre is like a diet-plan, one can't keep changing the tyre, one has to stick to a better road, sooner or later. 

don't think I don't discuss my environment, sometimes, if I can.  After all, I'm not Japanese

Sayoonara

For me, it was all about facing the truth about my money. I always kept a long list of fear thoughts .. like every month I would write a check the last week of the month and worry I didn't have enough money in the bank to cover it.  I wouldn't balance my checkbook so that fear was always eating at me!

Once I began my emergency savings money and tapped into it the 1st 3 months for car repairs and the like, I realized that I was okay.  That's why the money was there .. I started to see my credit card bills go down slowly ... right now I'm nearly sending them $10 extra a month ... I'm paying the same amount no matter what .. and as the bills go down, the finance charges do to.

I discovered that what I feared the most wasn't going to happen.  I still can't fanthom why I would ever think I wasn't going to have enough money for the month!  I mean, that fear lived with me for years and years and I always had money ... I always made it.  That truth was hard for me to believe until I allowed myself to ask myself each month how I was doing.

My fears were more from my childhood and early adult times ...  when I had to learn how to shop for myself, pay my rent, buy food, etc.  Now I know I have money ... sometimes I feel I got it to burn; however, that's because I've never been here before and I'll work thru it ... just like I've been doing it for the last 2 years!  WOW!!!  I just began year 3 this month!!!  WOW!!!  I've come so far in such a short time!

I find that when I buy something that looks good, I buy a couple more colors ... and wear them till they fall apart.   Like right now, I'm wearing clothes I purchased 2 years ago ... and yesterday about 5 years ago. 

Writing this with you is helping me to work thru some inner thoughts and beliefs .. thanks!

I'm beginning to see that I tend to wear the same stuff .. just like my living room always looks the same.  I'm not one to change stuff .. I'll add to; however, I can go a year or so before I purchase new clothes to wear .. usually do it because my current clothes are heading for the trash can.

I have 2 drawers of t-shirts to weed thru again!  I can't believe that I have so many and I don't wear 1/2 of them!  When I'm ready to dump the winter/spring/fall clothes, I'm going to weed thru them 1 more time and give many of them away!  I just need to keep about 2 weeks of clothes on hand ...  why keep stuff I'm never going to wear ...  and I have a friend who is whinning she doesn't have any more clothes to wear! 

What you say makes perfect sense. I never balance my checkbook. I usually just go to the bank and get statements and I never look at my checkbook. Way too scary for me.

One problem I know I have is for me trying to make enough money to pay for everything and have money left over.  Well;  People think its crazy that my haircuts ony cost 15.00. I go to a senior citizen place and the prices are low.

I then got into a manic state and after careful consideration went clothes shopping and the price came to 160 but I got 15% off with a coupon so the price was 130.00. Well; I stupidly used a charge card. I wasnt worried while I was there but now I am. It was fun though for I hadnt gone shopping in forever. Like everyone else the weight is on and it was probably stupid to buy clothes. But it felt good to just shop and be free. 

What I really need is some disposable income in which I had up to a few months ago. There was some property I had rented out and I collected that money. Now the property is vacant but I am trusting the universe to fix that once again. I was watching the debt show on Oprah yesterday and most of the people had more than one job. I wont kill myself and work two  jobs.

Been there and done that. What I really like to do is be semi-retired but how? I am trying to work on a small business and I will continue that but it takes money to make money.

thanks for your reply and concern.  yes i do know that the relatioship with the girls has strained cause i left them with mom.they wont listen to a word i say, they talk back at me in a very bad way, it hurts  and i really dont know what to do anymore, i have thought of suicide, but im to scared to that, just today mom was calling me names and beating me i really dont understand why.  its like she enjoyshurting me.yes i do feel guilty i left not them, i dont think i have mentioned that before but i used to be an addict drug addict went to rehab for 6 months and have been sober for 7 months mom wont let me go to the na meetings cant talk to my sponsor.  i feel really frustratedbut im sober.my daughters have no respect for me in anyway.i only talk to one friend but she cant do anything, my moms using my ex-drug problem against me. and i dont think thats fair.i talked to my therapist about mom and she met her and told her that she neded therapy, ofcourse mom denied that and told me these people have no clue about what their doing.she's really getting to me bad. help