Topic : Defining Your Authentic Self

I'm pleased to see how happy you are now to be rooted.

Chapter 4, pg 113, hit another set of exercises.   Lord, this is a lot of work! BUT, I am learning a lot.  I'm glad I'm finally taking the time to do this; especially, before seeking another career.  I'm reading Randy Pausch's, The Last Lecture in between the exercises, so I can take time to really think about things. 

I do have one question.  On pg. 71 Your-Self Concept it states, "The manner and style with which you engage other people is going to determine how they respond to you."  I personally, am NOT a backseat driver, because I find the habit irritating.  With a capital "I".  I have an outstanding driving record...no accidents...no tickets. (Knock on wood.) However, it seems that every person that gets in my van decides to backseat drive.  For example, A friend and I were going to the zoo the other day. My friend decided to say, "green light" every time the light turned green.  Apparently, I wasn't hitting the gas fast enough for her. Of course, I fear for my life when she's driving, but only once did I say, "Please slow down, I don't want to die."  Not only did my friend tell me every turn and every light color, she rearranged my glove box on the way back from the zoo. How the hell do I own this! And, how do I stop it? 

Please, don't think it's a matter of this one friend.  It seems to be 95% of the people I have in my vehicle. So, I know that it's something with me.  It's my manner...it's my style that allows passengers to run all over me, and I want it to stop.  How?

Oh I'm finding this so very hard.  I don't even know anymore what I wanted most or what my interestes are. Anyone else in my boat?

You've got to tell me which page your on first.  I'm still doing the exercises in chapter 4.  It's never ending! I think the exercises are suppose to help you decide what you want, or atleast, that's what I'm aiming for. I don't know about the "interests" part. 

Do you like to watch movies, read, look at art, attend plays, go walking or running, soccor, painting, singing, dancing....Dr. Phil always talks about tennis.  I like to hike, camp out, read, be with friends, swim...you know, regular stuff.  I think eating is an "interest" too, but I don't know if Dr. Phil would agree. 

Really?  I haven't seen the workbook.  Of course, I got the book from the library.  What can I say, I'm on a tight budget.  Many of my friends think I'm barbaric for not having cable. LOL! 

I have figured out that the exercises are going to take a large portion of my time.  It's sad that I can only focus late a night after my husband goes to bed, or early in the morning before my daughter wakes up.  This weekend is already filled with commitments.  I'm going to ask hubby to make some daddy daughter time so I can provide some well rested perspectives to these exercies. 

So, what would you do about a back seat driver? Seriously, help me hear.  : - )

Have you every been sexually attracted to a woman?  When you fantasize do you think of women or men? I'm not talking about R-rated fantasies.  I'm talking about G-rated, house on the hill or fab condo in the city, dog/cat, 2.5 kids fantasy....who is standing beside you?  I think it's important to decide what type of person you're attracted to and why before you leap into dating.  

I'm 33, and I have a lot of friends in their 30's who are successful, strong, attractive women, and they have not found Mr. or Miss. Right yet.  I was 28 myself when I got married, so 29 is nothing to be afraid of.  We all have scars.  Some of us have scars on our skin and some on our soul.  I have a scar on my face, under my chin.  When I was a child I didn't even notice. When I was a teenager it was the end of the world.  Somewhere in my mid 20's I didn't care.  Never once did a lover point out my scar.  If anything, I was the one to draw attention to it.  I would point to it and ask what they thought.  Usually, they said, "Funny, I didn't even notice."  I know a small scar on the skin doesn't compare to what you are talking about.  What I'm saying is a true lover wouldn't even take notice, because they love you, all of you.   

Olivia