That first time was also the last time, that I failed to pay the power bill or ANY other bills.
I was raised a southern girl, in a chaotic household, where the number ONE rule was: ‘ALWAYS make sure that YOU never upset your mother. If she becomes upset then you STOP whatever you’re doing to console/ placate her until she feels better.’ That was the central theme in my father’s home! Everything else- eating, sleeping, homework, house fire- was second to that! Nothing was more important than making SURE she wasn’t upset about anything, ever. Needless to say my twin and I consistently failed at that job because we couldn’t control how my mother felt/behaved/chose to react, to anything, period. Essentially, in that house, you could not have personal needs-unless you were my mother!
Another, important thing was, being raised in the South, it was assumed that every woman’s goal in life was to meet and marry a man and have children, at some point, because traditionally men managed the money! That included paying the bills. Traditionally, women were homemakers. Homemakers were expected to cook, clean, sew, tend the garden and prepare food. Since my mother did not act as ‘homemaker’ my twin sister and I did that.
We had Home Economics in school. That certainly DID NOT, in South Carolina, mean that anyone, taught any female about writing a check! No! No! No! I was allowed to have a saving account, not a checking account, when as an adolescent, I was allowed to work outside of the home.
I had NO working knowledge of managing household expenses. NONE! I had no experience to draw on, was taught how to write a check ONLY when it was clear and evident that I would need that knowledge just to live and conduct my own affairs beyond the home in which my father lived.
No wonder my father was rattled and giving lectures and speeches, as I was preparing to move!
And, as I’m writing this post, I declare, that old Nursery Rhyme, “He placed her in a Pumpkin Shell and there he kept her very well!” is stuck in my head!
Yours Very Truly,
Gloria Stein....(Oops!) That's,
Brenda ;-)
