Topic : Defining Your Authentic Self

I am not the person God purposed me to be, that is only because I won't allow myself to be who He has purposed me to be.  No person on this planet is supplied with the knowledge that God has purposed in each one of our lives.  No Scientist, Geologist, Archaeologist, Follosipher, Professor, Pastor, Psychic, etc., & etc., I could go on and on but then it would only sound like jibberish and ramblings.  I am no scholar, however Dr. Phil, I admire and repsect you based on your show which I have watched for many years.  I was moved greatly by the episode that aired at least a couple of years ago regarding a young lady who left America to go to a country in the middle east.  I won't dictate all that was disclosed around that show because it is not necessary.  I am certain that you know whcih show I am talking about.

I have an issue in my life that I have never been able to disclose openly and honestly about to anyone.  It has always been better for me to put things in writing and I am very apprehensive at this moment in disclosing something about myself in this forum.  I do so mainly because It is an out for me.  I don't expect to get a response to this message and that is why I feel free to say what I am saying at this time.

I dont' know what to do with what I have been through in my life up to this point accept to use the rational that I have acquired via books, prayer and life experience after the fact.  Most of the people who have used and abused me, have passed away and those who are still alive, do not acknowledge their part in why I am still harboring the events that have taken place in my life.  Okay, here it is!  I was molested, beaten and neglected for the better part of my early years.  Up until I was 16 by various men.  Some I knew only as my Uncle, but they were really not related to me by blood.  I didn't even know what a real Uncle was until I had my own children.  I was 23 when I gave birth to my first child.  I was a Sophomore in College, My brothers were my shelter and none of them ever got a girl pregnant.  My Father was NEVER there because he was totally committed to the military. 

I have so much more to say, and it gets deeper.  If my story is already interesting and it is the truth, let me know if I should seek help from Dr. Phil.

Bottom line is, I need some  closure from my Mother and my Father about my teen years whlle they are both still alive but separated.  I am 52 and still need answers.  Neither of them has remarried and still live in the same state.  My mother has never admitted to choosing her boyfriends over me and my Father is married to the VFW and has never made any attempt to visit me in more than 45 years.

I am sick about why he can't be here for me before he leaves this world.

Help Me If You Can Dr. Phil

There is more to Tell

Shari

my lessons.  I think about your stories are very telling of the flaws in environments that appear loving & helpful, but is the truth is opaque, simplified & corrected.  I enjoyed my early sunday school but I still was reluctant to progress & didn't have to.  That the first stage felt right.  That progression felt wrong, happiness & fun felt right, & that the worsening behaviour of those in the system kind of proved it.  I think that sometimes schooling seems to have that pattern of going into a bad place.  And maybe one learns the flaws of society & organisation of people.  And due to the pure nature of religion, and force of conviction, this seems to be harder to learn as this is how religion is taught.  It is often forced on people.  And this is wrong.  So in a sense, religion as an ideal is correct, but the way it is conveyed is not.  So one has to accuse them of wrong but not the values. 

'Only bad things happen to evil people' they are just words.  Like fate, luck.  Just numbers.  Some reason good things happen with '8's & bad things happen with '13'.  And religion is filled with it.  Bad in that negative view come with evil or bad people.  But the word 'only' is a way to make a person listen & be controlled by it.  Religious teachers should know to be humble.  And never use these personal terms.  If religious people followed their own guidelines, the higher wisdom could be communicated in the best form & everyone will be free.