Message Boards

Topic : Defining Your Authentic Self

Number of Replies: 7819
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Thursday, July 07, 2005, 11:20:02 am
Author : dataimport
Have you read "Self Matters" or become familiar with the process of uncovering your authentic self from watching the show? Share your story here.

As of January, 2009, this message board will become "Read Only" and will be closed to further posting. Please join the NEW Dr. Phil Community to continue your discussions, personalize your message board experience, start a blog and meet new friends.

March 18, 2009, 8:16 am CDT

Change can happen

Quote From: naomikern

hi dr phil im realy haveing trouble with myself estem and thinking that my x must of just hated me sooo much and i must of did everything wrong look im in realationship and am engaged to be married my x partner whom i have a child with use to beat me up and not just phsycialy either now he has got married and his wife says he is the perfect husband and shows me pics and stuff of there wedding day cause my son was in them she says am i to blam for geting beaten up do abusers change????????

I'm an eternal optimist, and I believe that people can, and do, change their behaviors all the time. However, in the case of somebody that loses control to the point of verbal and physical abuse, that change will probably need some help. Has he had any counseling? If not, I would guess that he is treading softly for now in his new marriage.

I think you need to let go of thoughts of him and his new wife, concentrate on you and your son. Have you talked with anybody regarding your feelings of self esteem? What about your son, did he witness any of the beatings? Often, if you are depressed, your children will suffer too. I would be wary of visits with his father, if the man beat on you, he may start in on his child.

Decide to start a new chapter in your life, and change yourself. By allowing your ex to make you feel low self esteem, without even living with him anymore, he wins. You allow him to win when you let him dictate how you feel about yourself. Find ways to change your outlook by looking inward. I suggest talking to someone- a counselor or clergy, even a trusted friend. SELF MATTERS and LIFE STRATEGIES are both very good books too.

I would get this help BEFORE you marry again though. Too often we end up in the same emotional ruts with different people if we don't resolve our problems.

Come back and let us know how it goes alright?

 
March 18, 2009, 8:20 am CDT

Brenda-

If you're still dropping in from time to time, I wanted to let you know that I watched The Price Is Right yesterday and saw you in the crowd. It looked like alot of fun, the Australian guy was very exuberant!

Good choice, the pink sweater, it stood out.

How is everything back home again?

 
March 18, 2009, 8:48 pm CDT

I'm Currently Chauffeuring Seniors......

Quote From: ritehere

If you're still dropping in from time to time, I wanted to let you know that I watched The Price Is Right yesterday and saw you in the crowd. It looked like alot of fun, the Australian guy was very exuberant!

Good choice, the pink sweater, it stood out.

How is everything back home again?

About watching The Price Is Right taping……

The light skinned African-American fellow, who was chosen and seated behind P**** and I, was SO excited when his name was called he actually almost hurt himself trying to get to ‘contestant’s row’. (The back of his shirt read, ‘SHUT UP and Fish!’). We were in his shot AND in the shot with the guy who did the summersault on the way down to ‘contestant’s row’. I watched it with my father and pointed out things like, “See, now I kept shouting the right price and she still picked THAT one!” AND “Oh, I was shouting for him to pick that number….and we were both wrong!” Finally, my father said, “I’m almost SURE that they tape these shows so that we can watch and see what happens as the show unfolds rather than sending everyone a letter- or YOU- prior to the airing TELLING us who won or who lost before the dang show comes on!” (WELL!!!)

He kind of smiled when he saw P**** and I in the audience and said, “Look at those two! They’ll let anyone in, won’t they?!?” I corrected him saying, “NOT without proper Photo ID!”

I called P****, at the bank, after the show. The woman who answered the phone said, “WE saw you on The Price Is Right, today!”

In keeping with our nicknames, when I spoke with P**** I said, “Hey, 4!” She just giggled and said “How ya doin’ 5?!”(That’s the order in which we arrived at the CBS studio the day of taping and when they wrote ‘4 / 5’ on our printed tickets, then handed them back and then said, ‘just return in one hour, please!’ When we asked about if the numbers were significant for where we were in the audience arrival, they indicated that was exactly what they represented. And one of the pages in the red blazers said, pointing to P****, “You are FOUR.” Then, turned to me saying, “And, you are FIVE.” We asked them if they knew of any nearby coffee shops and one of the pages pointed across Fairfax to a bagel place. I said to P****, “You want to get some coffee, FOUR?” She giggled and said, “I’m right behind you, FIVE!”)

I was REALLY surprised by the number of people who tuned in and called to say, “I saw you in the audience on The Price Is Right!” It reminded me of the wonderful time we had.

 

I MUST say, I can’t EVEN begin to tell you how much I have been missing our talks on this board!!! The other board has features that I like but our little ‘community’ is all gone! I just hate that!

I have missed you SO badly! There are people on the other board who could benefit from YOUR thoughtful insights, reflections and observations! When I’m over there reading the Self Matters Board I often think to myself, ‘This person needs a Ritehere Response!’

I’ve also been wondering about how your son is doing, these days.

It’s SO good to hear from you!!!

 

Brenda

 

 
March 19, 2009, 12:10 pm CDT

answer to do abusers change

Quote From: naomikern

hi dr phil im realy haveing trouble with myself estem and thinking that my x must of just hated me sooo much and i must of did everything wrong look im in realationship and am engaged to be married my x partner whom i have a child with use to beat me up and not just phsycialy either now he has got married and his wife says he is the perfect husband and shows me pics and stuff of there wedding day cause my son was in them she says am i to blam for geting beaten up do abusers change????????
Abusers can change if they seek help. Problem is most abusers do not not view themself as abusers and most do not get the professional help that they need.
 
March 20, 2009, 5:10 am CDT

ABANDONED FIRST RESPONDERS

We have a problem that is growing and has not been addresses properly. The rise of the drug problem in the USA is causing a problem in the first responder community that relay needs to be placed in the front pages for all the people to see how those who protect our country are being abandoned daily. Duty related hazards are part of the job and should be compinseable but I can't be the only one that was told to go home to suffer and die. I got hepatitis c1a from one of the criminals that I delt with and was denied help. WE NEED HELP.
 
April 5, 2009, 4:42 pm CDT

I need help

I've had a lifelong fear of storms, and it's not getting any better as time goes on as I thought it would. I am now getting to the point where I get physically sick when storms even threaten and have to take medication for it.

 

I would really like to move away from  all the storms but my family says that storms happen everywhere (we live in KY). Is this true Dr. Phil? Do storms occur everywhere? And is there anything I can do to help myself cope with them?

 

Thank you.

 
April 14, 2009, 5:22 pm CDT

help me please!

hey i was wondering if anyone could give me so advice??

i'm 13 years old and my dad died on June 4,2007 at 5:00pm and i'm now just starting to deal with the grief of his loss and my father died because of suicide and now i'm scared that my mom might try it to. So i was wonder is this normal or should i just call myself crazy?

 

 
April 17, 2009, 9:06 pm CDT

luldp1....

Quote From: luldp1

hey i was wondering if anyone could give me so advice??

i'm 13 years old and my dad died on June 4,2007 at 5:00pm and i'm now just starting to deal with the grief of his loss and my father died because of suicide and now i'm scared that my mom might try it to. So i was wonder is this normal or should i just call myself crazy?

 

First of all I would like to say that I am SO sorry for your loss.

I also, would like to say, that experiencing grief, sadness and/or feeling overwhelmed are all QUITE normal when you lose someone as significant as your father. In fact, grieving is the ONLY way we begin to heal emotionally. You may want to ask an adult that you love and trust to help you during this time. You AREN’T “Crazy”!

 

You mentioned concerns about your mother and fearing that she “might try it to.” Is your mother talking about that? Has she made comments about wanting to do that? OR are you apprehensive for other reasons?

 

My thoughts and Prayers are with you.

Brenda

 
April 20, 2009, 9:16 pm CDT

Can abusers change

Quote From: laurie4me

Abusers can change if they seek help. Problem is most abusers do not not view themself as abusers and most do not get the professional help that they need.

I was once married to a Sociapath with a Dr. Jekle/ Mr. Hyde personality.  It was like living with Satan.

Money was very important to him and he was so paranoid that somebody wanted to take it from him.

I once went to the beauty parlor to get my hair fixed.  It didn't cost but $20.00 and I paid it with my paycheck money.  When he saw that I had spent money on myself, he cut my hair to about 1 inch and remarked "I'll give you a nice free hair cut". 

 

He had just gotten baptized and I was elated.  I had prayed and prayed that God would change him.

The next day, he hit me and broke my hand.  He would never admit it as if he thought I was taping him or something.  He broke some glasses in the sink and covered them with bubbles.  My step son, son and I were upstairs and heard this loud noise of something breaking.  My step son warned me not to put my hand in the bubbles.  As I came down the stairs, he exclaimed "You lazy bitch.  You left dishes in the sink.  Get in there and wash them".  thank goodness I had been warned.

 

Can they change?  Only with extensive theraphy!  He later remarried to a wealthy widow lady and sits in the front row of the church.  She says he is a good husband????  I can't imagine him being any different.  He has told her so many lies about me and it gets back to me through the new wife's beautician.  I am sure Dr. Phil has an explanation of this "so called change".  Personally, I believe he is acting because she is very, very rich. 

 

This is a good subject for Dr. Phil Show.

 

Little Reb

 

aka Betty

 
April 20, 2009, 10:53 pm CDT

Thunder and Lightning

Quote From: intelus

I've had a lifelong fear of storms, and it's not getting any better as time goes on as I thought it would. I am now getting to the point where I get physically sick when storms even threaten and have to take medication for it.

 

I would really like to move away from  all the storms but my family says that storms happen everywhere (we live in KY). Is this true Dr. Phil? Do storms occur everywhere? And is there anything I can do to help myself cope with them?

 

Thank you.

Just wonderfing if you were ever in a terrible thunder storm?  My little children were afraid when the thunder roared and the lightning flashed.  My comment to them was "Don't worry.  That's just God taking your picture?  or...... Goodness, God must be moving his furniture today (as the thunder clapped).

 

My Mother used to get us to go to bed and cover up with a blanket.  Could it be that perhaps your Mother or Dad was also frightened of storms? 

 

Child, very rarely does lightning strike a house and never strikes into the house..... and...... thunder never hurt anybody...... It just makes noice.  Like "God moving his furniture". 

 

As one of our Presidents' stated "A coward dies a thousand deaths..... A brave man only one".

 

Learn to pray and ask God to protect you.  It really helps.... especially if you believe.

 

Little Reb

 
First | Prev | 773 | 774 | 775 | 776 | 777 | 778 | 779 | 780 | 781 | Next | Last