Message Boards

Topic : Defining Your Authentic Self

Number of Replies: 7834
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Thursday, July 07, 2005, 11:20:02 am
Author : dataimport
Have you read "Self Matters" or become familiar with the process of uncovering your authentic self from watching the show? Share your story here.

As of January, 2009, this message board will become "Read Only" and will be closed to further posting. Please join the NEW Dr. Phil Community to continue your discussions, personalize your message board experience, start a blog and meet new friends.

User Mood
Happy

Message Emote
blank
March 6, 2009, 7:01 pm PST

Looking for some help

Hi, I am a young woman who needs a bit of advice. I am torn between several options in my life and I am basically hoping I can find a kind soul on here who could be like a sort of life advicer for me in this inner chaos I am feeling. I would appreciate having someone to talk to, via Skype for instance, or email. I just need someone who is not involved in my life to give their opinion and hopefully make me see things clearer on what i should and shouldn't do.

Kind regards,

Madeleine

my email: madeleinecarlson@aim.com
 
User Mood
Relaxed

Message Emote
chillin'
March 8, 2009, 9:45 am PDT

Madeleine,

Quote From: emerald_lamb

Hi, I am a young woman who needs a bit of advice. I am torn between several options in my life and I am basically hoping I can find a kind soul on here who could be like a sort of life advicer for me in this inner chaos I am feeling. I would appreciate having someone to talk to, via Skype for instance, or email. I just need someone who is not involved in my life to give their opinion and hopefully make me see things clearer on what i should and shouldn't do.

Kind regards,

Madeleine

my email: madeleinecarlson@aim.com

Is there something we can help you with via this board? None of us are doctors, we discuss Dr Phil's books, in particular SELF MATTERS, and how the doc's guidance in the books help us through our life problems.

I no longer post my email address as I have attracted undesirable responses in the past.

 

 

 
User Mood
Happy

Message Emote
blank
March 13, 2009, 1:50 am PDT

hello madeleine

Quote From: emerald_lamb

Hi, I am a young woman who needs a bit of advice. I am torn between several options in my life and I am basically hoping I can find a kind soul on here who could be like a sort of life advicer for me in this inner chaos I am feeling. I would appreciate having someone to talk to, via Skype for instance, or email. I just need someone who is not involved in my life to give their opinion and hopefully make me see things clearer on what i should and shouldn't do.

Kind regards,

Madeleine

my email: madeleinecarlson@aim.com

those are words ive been waiting to here. i was a young mother of 16 and 2 more after that. my husband is a wonderful provider and a sweet man however i dont know where if fit in CHAOS is my middle name. I luv to here about peoples issues and have a open ear for what ever u want to talk about

sincerly jackie

 
User Mood
Good

Message Emote
blank
March 13, 2009, 5:10 pm PDT

Logic and Simplicity

Quote From: emerald_lamb

Hi, I am a young woman who needs a bit of advice. I am torn between several options in my life and I am basically hoping I can find a kind soul on here who could be like a sort of life advicer for me in this inner chaos I am feeling. I would appreciate having someone to talk to, via Skype for instance, or email. I just need someone who is not involved in my life to give their opinion and hopefully make me see things clearer on what i should and shouldn't do.

Kind regards,

Madeleine

my email: madeleinecarlson@aim.com

Dear Madeleine

 

In looking back over difficult times in my life. I must admit that I knew with certainty what the best course of action would have been all along. It was often the simplest, most logical and direct. The confusion came when for reasons of self comfort and security, I rejected logic and with it the course of action that would have made my life much better, much sooner. Sometimes you have to be willing to let go of some comfort to do the right thing. Resistance to change is rooted in the love of comfort. Comfort, security, and the resultant resistance to change is one of the most common reasons why people will stay in or return to a relationship in which they are being abused. I do not know what is happening in your life, but I will certainly pray for you if thats OK. Base your decisions not on fear, but on sound logical thinking. No one knows your circumstances better than you do. The solution may be right there in front of you. To reach out to others in time of need is a sign of strength. Just by doing this you have convinced me that you are a very strong person. Believe in yourself. I do not know you, but know that I believe in you!

Tomorrow is a new day. A new day that brings with it new hope and new opportunites. Time is a wonderful thing. Let it do its wonderful work. Look back and ask yourself, where was I this time last year and what was I doing? What problems did I face back then? What do those problems mean to me today?

 

Sincerely,

Terry Goossen

 
User Mood
Happy

Message Emote
blank
March 17, 2009, 9:43 pm PDT

help

hi dr phil im realy haveing trouble with myself estem and thinking that my x must of just hated me sooo much and i must of did everything wrong look im in realationship and am engaged to be married my x partner whom i have a child with use to beat me up and not just phsycialy either now he has got married and his wife says he is the perfect husband and shows me pics and stuff of there wedding day cause my son was in them she says am i to blam for geting beaten up do abusers change????????
 
User Mood
Relaxed

Message Emote
chillin'
March 18, 2009, 8:16 am PDT

Change can happen

Quote From: naomikern

hi dr phil im realy haveing trouble with myself estem and thinking that my x must of just hated me sooo much and i must of did everything wrong look im in realationship and am engaged to be married my x partner whom i have a child with use to beat me up and not just phsycialy either now he has got married and his wife says he is the perfect husband and shows me pics and stuff of there wedding day cause my son was in them she says am i to blam for geting beaten up do abusers change????????

I'm an eternal optimist, and I believe that people can, and do, change their behaviors all the time. However, in the case of somebody that loses control to the point of verbal and physical abuse, that change will probably need some help. Has he had any counseling? If not, I would guess that he is treading softly for now in his new marriage.

I think you need to let go of thoughts of him and his new wife, concentrate on you and your son. Have you talked with anybody regarding your feelings of self esteem? What about your son, did he witness any of the beatings? Often, if you are depressed, your children will suffer too. I would be wary of visits with his father, if the man beat on you, he may start in on his child.

Decide to start a new chapter in your life, and change yourself. By allowing your ex to make you feel low self esteem, without even living with him anymore, he wins. You allow him to win when you let him dictate how you feel about yourself. Find ways to change your outlook by looking inward. I suggest talking to someone- a counselor or clergy, even a trusted friend. SELF MATTERS and LIFE STRATEGIES are both very good books too.

I would get this help BEFORE you marry again though. Too often we end up in the same emotional ruts with different people if we don't resolve our problems.

Come back and let us know how it goes alright?

 
User Mood
Relaxed

Message Emote
happy
March 18, 2009, 8:20 am PDT

Brenda-

If you're still dropping in from time to time, I wanted to let you know that I watched The Price Is Right yesterday and saw you in the crowd. It looked like alot of fun, the Australian guy was very exuberant!

Good choice, the pink sweater, it stood out.

How is everything back home again?

 
User Mood
Stressed

Message Emote
hopeful
March 18, 2009, 8:48 pm PDT

I'm Currently Chauffeuring Seniors......

Quote From: ritehere

If you're still dropping in from time to time, I wanted to let you know that I watched The Price Is Right yesterday and saw you in the crowd. It looked like alot of fun, the Australian guy was very exuberant!

Good choice, the pink sweater, it stood out.

How is everything back home again?

About watching The Price Is Right taping……

The light skinned African-American fellow, who was chosen and seated behind P**** and I, was SO excited when his name was called he actually almost hurt himself trying to get to ‘contestant’s row’. (The back of his shirt read, ‘SHUT UP and Fish!’). We were in his shot AND in the shot with the guy who did the summersault on the way down to ‘contestant’s row’. I watched it with my father and pointed out things like, “See, now I kept shouting the right price and she still picked THAT one!” AND “Oh, I was shouting for him to pick that number….and we were both wrong!” Finally, my father said, “I’m almost SURE that they tape these shows so that we can watch and see what happens as the show unfolds rather than sending everyone a letter- or YOU- prior to the airing TELLING us who won or who lost before the dang show comes on!” (WELL!!!)

He kind of smiled when he saw P**** and I in the audience and said, “Look at those two! They’ll let anyone in, won’t they?!?” I corrected him saying, “NOT without proper Photo ID!”

I called P****, at the bank, after the show. The woman who answered the phone said, “WE saw you on The Price Is Right, today!”

In keeping with our nicknames, when I spoke with P**** I said, “Hey, 4!” She just giggled and said “How ya doin’ 5?!”(That’s the order in which we arrived at the CBS studio the day of taping and when they wrote ‘4 / 5’ on our printed tickets, then handed them back and then said, ‘just return in one hour, please!’ When we asked about if the numbers were significant for where we were in the audience arrival, they indicated that was exactly what they represented. And one of the pages in the red blazers said, pointing to P****, “You are FOUR.” Then, turned to me saying, “And, you are FIVE.” We asked them if they knew of any nearby coffee shops and one of the pages pointed across Fairfax to a bagel place. I said to P****, “You want to get some coffee, FOUR?” She giggled and said, “I’m right behind you, FIVE!”)

I was REALLY surprised by the number of people who tuned in and called to say, “I saw you in the audience on The Price Is Right!” It reminded me of the wonderful time we had.

 

I MUST say, I can’t EVEN begin to tell you how much I have been missing our talks on this board!!! The other board has features that I like but our little ‘community’ is all gone! I just hate that!

I have missed you SO badly! There are people on the other board who could benefit from YOUR thoughtful insights, reflections and observations! When I’m over there reading the Self Matters Board I often think to myself, ‘This person needs a Ritehere Response!’

I’ve also been wondering about how your son is doing, these days.

It’s SO good to hear from you!!!

 

Brenda

 

 
User Mood
Good

Message Emote
blank
March 19, 2009, 12:10 pm PDT

answer to do abusers change

Quote From: naomikern

hi dr phil im realy haveing trouble with myself estem and thinking that my x must of just hated me sooo much and i must of did everything wrong look im in realationship and am engaged to be married my x partner whom i have a child with use to beat me up and not just phsycialy either now he has got married and his wife says he is the perfect husband and shows me pics and stuff of there wedding day cause my son was in them she says am i to blam for geting beaten up do abusers change????????
Abusers can change if they seek help. Problem is most abusers do not not view themself as abusers and most do not get the professional help that they need.
 
User Mood
Angry

Message Emote
angry
March 20, 2009, 5:10 am PDT

ABANDONED FIRST RESPONDERS

We have a problem that is growing and has not been addresses properly. The rise of the drug problem in the USA is causing a problem in the first responder community that relay needs to be placed in the front pages for all the people to see how those who protect our country are being abandoned daily. Duty related hazards are part of the job and should be compinseable but I can't be the only one that was told to go home to suffer and die. I got hepatitis c1a from one of the criminals that I delt with and was denied help. WE NEED HELP.
 
First | Prev | 774 | 775 | 776 | 777 | 778 | 779 | 780 | 781 | 782 | 783 | Next | Last