Topic : Defining Your Authentic Self

I've had a lifelong fear of storms, and it's not getting any better as time goes on as I thought it would. I am now getting to the point where I get physically sick when storms even threaten and have to take medication for it.

 

I would really like to move away from  all the storms but my family says that storms happen everywhere (we live in KY). Is this true Dr. Phil? Do storms occur everywhere? And is there anything I can do to help myself cope with them?

 

Thank you.

hey i was wondering if anyone could give me so advice??

i'm 13 years old and my dad died on June 4,2007 at 5:00pm and i'm now just starting to deal with the grief of his loss and my father died because of suicide and now i'm scared that my mom might try it to. So i was wonder is this normal or should i just call myself crazy?

 

I was once married to a Sociapath with a Dr. Jekle/ Mr. Hyde personality.  It was like living with Satan.

Money was very important to him and he was so paranoid that somebody wanted to take it from him.

I once went to the beauty parlor to get my hair fixed.  It didn't cost but $20.00 and I paid it with my paycheck money.  When he saw that I had spent money on myself, he cut my hair to about 1 inch and remarked "I'll give you a nice free hair cut". 

 

He had just gotten baptized and I was elated.  I had prayed and prayed that God would change him.

The next day, he hit me and broke my hand.  He would never admit it as if he thought I was taping him or something.  He broke some glasses in the sink and covered them with bubbles.  My step son, son and I were upstairs and heard this loud noise of something breaking.  My step son warned me not to put my hand in the bubbles.  As I came down the stairs, he exclaimed "You lazy bitch.  You left dishes in the sink.  Get in there and wash them".  thank goodness I had been warned.

 

Can they change?  Only with extensive theraphy!  He later remarried to a wealthy widow lady and sits in the front row of the church.  She says he is a good husband????  I can't imagine him being any different.  He has told her so many lies about me and it gets back to me through the new wife's beautician.  I am sure Dr. Phil has an explanation of this "so called change".  Personally, I believe he is acting because she is very, very rich. 

 

This is a good subject for Dr. Phil Show.

 

Little Reb

 

aka Betty

Just wonderfing if you were ever in a terrible thunder storm?  My little children were afraid when the thunder roared and the lightning flashed.  My comment to them was "Don't worry.  That's just God taking your picture?  or...... Goodness, God must be moving his furniture today (as the thunder clapped).

 

My Mother used to get us to go to bed and cover up with a blanket.  Could it be that perhaps your Mother or Dad was also frightened of storms? 

 

Child, very rarely does lightning strike a house and never strikes into the house..... and...... thunder never hurt anybody...... It just makes noice.  Like "God moving his furniture". 

 

As one of our Presidents' stated "A coward dies a thousand deaths..... A brave man only one".

 

Learn to pray and ask God to protect you.  It really helps.... especially if you believe.

 

Little Reb

I need someone to be happy.

You're title said you are getting your life back.

 

So you need someone to be happy about that? OK, I'm happy for you!

Now, are YOU happy for you?

The true self that does not do things, say things, with intent to harm and destroy.  It seems my mentality of being victim has put me in a postion where I feel it is ok to hurt and harm and be selfish towards others. To be able to lie, just for the sake of lying, or to lie to cover up the truth, or what I am trying to find, my authentic self that does not need to feel I have to cover up and be something else. I don't think finding self authentiticy is easy because you have to really be able to see that everything out side of natural disasters and natural life occurances, was somehow based in decisions we made.

 

I am trying my best , and at best, it is v ery humbling to try to remove the skin of dillusion that I tried to trick everyone with thinking it would somehow make me appear more together, likealbe or even lovable.  But who I have become has not been a nice person because I look at the trail of heartbreak and rejections that I have left, and all the good people that I let slip by because they werenn't good enough, and how I string along people because that's what they do to me. I am learning that even though I have survived a lot, it has brought with it a sense of armour that is forever pervading in my existence. 

 

Authenticy, finding the real self that lies beyond the veil of illusion, betrayals, hurts, rejections to the self that does not get affected by this but grows in love for the suffering of others suffering. Its without saying we can't love someone until we can truly love our own authentic selves or we will look for relief through the meetings of other people, food, clothes, vacations, jewerly, diet pills, alcohol. How many people scrapple around portraying themselves as happy because they have nice cars, money in their pockets, sex to please at all times, abundance of food and drink? How many people actually believe this defines them?  Peel away the first layer, the veil, beyond the illusion of fears, and you will find your authentic self and then you will find peace.   Kimi

Hey Kimi,
   I've read a lot of your help posts from the past and this has to be one of your most reveling yet. You see some things about yourself that you weren't aware of or hadn't come to terms with before. Other than the fact  that it has caused turmoil inside you, you are now finding out why. Don't judge yourself so hard. I think you are a very together and caring person, your heart comes out plenty of times, but life is always easier explained than lived. I don't think anyone here thought that you ran your whole life like you post in the forums. Damn, wouldn't that be great.
   I was told by a marriage councilor that we have learned how we expect relationships to work by our observations from childhood. He wanted us to to know that just because we learned one way that we did not have to accept running our own lives the same way. That we are not hard wired one way without the ability to change ourselves
   Being happy with one self is so important. I may be wrong but I don't think one can ever reach a point where you can sit back and say that you have found Nirvana. I have trouble with a poor self image and it's hard to get past that to find all the happiness and love inside me. I think you're a hell of a person and will be able to strip off that armor and let the light in bit by bit.
Sincerely,
Twisted Poet

While there are many avenues to reaquainting yourself with your authenticity, I'm parial to using Dr Phil's  SELF MATTERS and  LIFE STRATEGIES books. More than anything else I've ever read, they changed my life for the better.

Don't hesitate to get one-on-one counseling too if you need to speak with someone. There came a point where my memories and feelings of guilt were almost unbearable, and I sought guidance from a professional counselor.

 

Your authentic self is always with you, it never left. You left it, and it is a conscious decision to reconnect that will get you started down the right path again.

 

Onwards and upwards.