Hi, All!
Dr. Phil has a topic on his Blog about girls bullying other girls and for a variety of reasons I REALLY didn’t want to post this on that Blog. The experience I’m going to share involves immature young girls and young women who DIDN’T know that the essence of ANY person CAN NOT be found in the clothes that they wear, the job they hold or how far they went in school. The true measure of a person can ONLY be found in WHO that individual is as a human being!
My twin sister and I were targeted for bullying, particularly in Junior High School. We were bullied by both males and females. There were at least three girls, who were always wearing the trendy, expensive clothes who were the very worst. Once in the Girl’s Restroom two of those girls encircled my twin sister- I wasn’t there or there might have been a different twist to that incident! They began taunting my twin sister. When they had her cornered the taller girl leered at my twin and said “Do You REALLY know how UGLY YOU ARE?!? You REALLY ARE SO UGLY! Where did ya get those picked hose and drab ugly cloth?” They just went on and on about how DREADFULLY UGLY she and her clothes were. That was their favorite thing to do during recess and it certainly wasn’t the first or last time, either of us would encounter that. In that incident at least they didn’t tear or damage what my sister was wearing and more importantly, they didn’t physically harm her. I believe that the worst thing was being corned and not being able to move passed those individuals, their insults and the verbal abuse. My twin didn’t share this particular situation with me until much, much later. That ONE particular time stuck with my sister. I don’t know why. It wasn’t like it hadn’t happened before. Maybe THAT was the day my sister became FED UP with their behavior. In those days neither of us had a lot to say to or about THOSE GIRLS!
Those girls had NO idea who MY sister was going to become!!! We both went to college and my sister went on to Grad School in San Francisco. On one of her trips BACK to SC we were driving back to the country/coastal area where we were born and raised, to visit with family. As we were traveling through the county seat-about 25 miles from my father’s home- I asked my sister if she needed to stop for any reason and she shook her head, ‘No’. However, just miles before getting to our parents home MY twin announced that she JUST HAD to stop at this little country grocery store. At the time, I didn’t really know WHY she decided to stop that close to home. Anyway we stopped at the little country store. When I walked in I saw that the person at the cash register was one of our worst girl bullies, who had enjoyed tormenting us in junior high and ninth grade. I also noticed that my twin sister had this mischievous smile on her face and a twinkle in her eye as she glanced that way. Well, my twin sister picked up a soft drink and some crackers and then she began engaging ME in this ultra ‘Clinical Talk’. We’re both in healthcare, and I believe that my twin sister used just about every single complex scientific word one can APPROPRIATELY use in a grocery store! Anyway, my twin sister continued her banter right up to that cash register and then in feigned amazement, my twin sister said , “Well, LOOK, Brenda! IT’S R*****! You remember, R*****!” and “Oh, you KNOW R***** could probably help us settle this little debate we have going!” My sister went on about some FAUX dispute we were having about ‘the clinical implications’ of SOMETHING or other IN the ‘consideration of some definitive diagnostic process(!)’ Blah, Blah, Blah! Then suddenly, my sister STOPPED threw her hand over her mouth saying, “Oh, I’m SO SORRY you never went to college DID YOU, R*****?!? I AM SO EMBARRASSED….here I was just talking completely OVER your POINTED and UNEDUCATED blonde and DINGY HEAD. Silly me!!!” Well, R***** wasn’t even slightly amused by my sister’s behavior and wanted US OUT OF THERE! As R***** was hurriedly trying to check us out. My sister continued her chatter as even I was trying to propel my twin sister towards the door! My sister finally said, “You know, R***** I’ll be thinking of you the very next time I’m in the Fashion District in downtown San Francisco. Oh, that reminds me! I’ve GOT to pick up that beautiful flowing silk skirt for my up-coming conference! R***** you DON’T KNOW how LUCKY you are to be here in….uh…..‘BUG TUSSEL’ and doing something SIMPLE like running a cash register, something that REALLY doesn’t require you to ACTUALLY THINK….AT ALL! Where EVERY DAY is dress down….I have times where I just LONG to- like YOU - sit on a tattered ole stool, wearing a set of 30 year old flip-flops and some faded, raggedy ole jeans and just watch the dust settle….I EVEN had one of those episodes for a full THREE MINUTES about A YEAR AND A HALF AGO!!! And, THEN I SAID TO MYSELF SNAP OUT OF IT!!! You live in San Francisco and you‘re working on your Masters Degree! Get Over IT, ALREADY!” By then we were almost outside. When we finally got outside, I was just staring at my twin as she walked over to the car and climbed inside. When I got in the car I just huffed, “Now, THAT was REALLY poised, polished and professional! Wasn’t IT?!?” My twin sister had seen R***** hastily handing the register duties over to someone else as we were leaving. I said, “What you did was NO better than HER behavior, in ninth grade and junior high!” Though I REALLY didn’t HAVE to SAY anything. I could tell that my sister wasn’t proud of what she had done. She had embarrassed herself. In exacting her revenge, she had to engage in behaviors that SHE found, foolish, immature and inappropriate. My sister then recognized that she had to compromise her own sense of integrity to, ‘Get Even’! It was a hollow and embarrassing experience. The humor was HER, the way she used it to hurt EVEN R***** WASN’T, her at all! My sister had learned that she couldn’t be just down right mean-spirited and callous AND come away feeling ‘good’ about that.
My twin sister was a young 20-something year old woman at that point, in time. She wasn’t ruthless. My sister just had a VERY long memory AND a huge Ax to grind…. both she and I regret that she chose to, so publicly, grind it on and in R*****’s face!
BG
