Quote From: ritehere Somewhere along the way, you had a natural moment of awkwardness, that somebody else referred to as "shyness," and you've thought of yourself as that way ever since. I know that sounds incredibly trite. Look at it this way, you are not shy all the time, with all people. You become tongue-tied and awkward around new people and people you don't know very well. Would you believe that about 95% of people say the very same thing about themselves? Most people consider themselves shy! However, most people don't have the annoying reactions to the initial awkward feeling, like blushing uncontrollably, stammering, or simply "freezing" up.
The first step to overcoming the reactions is to start telling yourself something different. You're not shy, you have difficulties meeting new people, or talking to people you don't know well. Examine your reactions in depth, really hunt for that first time you heard someone label you.
Here's mine: In Kindergarten at age 5, I was at my very first parent-teacher conferences with my mother, and my teacher referred to me as "shy." I didn't really know what that meant, but she was the teacher, so it must be true. The reality was, I had a lot of ear infections as a child, and sometimes couldn't hear very well, so I missed a lot of what other kids said. I began to sit by myself, and play by myself, instead of seeming stupid by asking "what?" all the time. School work wasn't a problem, I'm an excellent visual learner, and after learning to read, I did most of my learning that way when my hearing was off. I'm an introvert, but I honestly don't know if that would have been true if I didn't have hearing problems as a child. To this day, I'm an observer more than a participant, but I've gotten over the annoying reactions when confronted with the new and unknown. If there weren't good listeners out there, a lot of talkers would be unhappy right?
(That's another label you can replace "shy" with-- good listener.)
Look for classes or books or interactions with others that will help you practice what you need to do to get over your reactions. There are many tools out there. Another helpful skill is learning relaxation techniques, breathing, meditation, etc. What you decide to use for tools is up to you, but it really does start upstairs in your mind. Shyness is just a label that was given to you to describe an outward appearance that others perceived.
Let me know how it goes.
o.k. maybe im not "shy" in the strictest sense, but i know i am not 'normal' like most people in that i get really really nervous and turn hot and just wanna get out of the situation when im forced to talk to someone i dunno. for instance today we had to this exercise where we go to a stranger in our class and find out some things about them. I HATE these exercises because it makes me feel so uncomfortable and i can feel that the person im talkin to thinks im weird cuz u can see it in my body language. anyway i got really hot and couldnt look them in the face and always knew that they knew exactly how uncomfortable i was. oh ya i was never called shy by anyone...
