Topic : Defining Your Authentic Self

Where is Eilean Donan Castle? 

(Don't rush, won't be on-line for another week) 

  

Reading this makes me realise that the unconscious is just as much a moat around a castle, as it is a space that flows and is continuously (open space).  

  

Thanks for responding,    

Life is one long challenge, writing responces, though, in some ways is much more of a challenge.  Keep up the skills!  I think we all benefit.   

  

Taemanai 

This is Eilean Donan Castle, home to several clans since it was built, but mostly MacKenzies and MacRaes. It's on the west coast of Scotland, it stands guard over 3 waterways (lochs) to the interior. It was used as the ancestral home of the central figure in the movie "Highlander".  I visited it in 2004. It is one of the most photographed castles in Scotland. This picture doesn't do it justice, there are better ones if you search the web, but I took this one, so it's special to me.

The Gaelic wording reads "As long as there is a MacRae inside there will never be a Fraser outside." I'm not sure when the castle was built, but it is furnished and Clan MacRae still live and meet there.
In "Highlander" the main person was a MacLeod. The MacLeods' ancestral castle is really Dunvegan, on the Isle of Skye, a facinating place, but not as picturesque as Eilean Donan.

I am working my way through Dr. Phil's book, Self Matters. 

It looks like the topic of discussion on this board is not strictly limited to the book, but I am interested in knowing if people are still responding to this board. 

I have recently started using Dr. Phil's Self Matters book and companion and tonight I couldn't stop doing the exercises.  It's amazing when I have a good guide what I can learn about myself.  I just finished the second chapter and decided because it was getting late that I would stop for the night. I know I have a long way to go but it's been a really great experience so far...although not always fun.  I love to try to run but every way I have tried to ignore or run from something the more it seemed to stand out.  I started this book because I have been in a funk, then this booked popped up in the middle of a messy car...oh did I mention my mom bought it for me more than a year ago. 

I'm not quite sure how to read your question.   Were you asking if we discuss the book chapter by chapter, or refer you to a section, or what.  And yes, there are members onboard who have been with this message site for quite a while and just use it to update folks on what's going on in their lives.   

  

For me, I have used this site to post to when I'm working out something within me.  It's my "I FEEL SHAME/ASHAME!!" and have to tell the world what's going on within me so I can move forward.  There are more people who read this board then who post to it.   

  

Right now, I'm quiet because I'm working out my 53rd YEAR OF LIVING GOALS -- I'm like so surprised by my I DONE IT!! popping in my head repeatedly the last few days.  It's unreal for me.  Before, I was this creature running around in this big old loop (Dr. Phil calls it a PATTERN!) and not working on any of my dreams. It wouldn't have been bad, however, I discovered that I had the same dream list for a couple of years and all I did was move things up and down the list.   

  

Welcome to the site. 

I purchased the book as my SPRING BOOK - April is a good month for me - it's spring time and I also chose something to bring to myself at that time.  I was able to read 3 chapters, walked away with: NO MORE GRIEVING.  Then that summer during the family death watch, I caught Dr. Phil's Wt Loss Challenge and got hooked on Weight Loss Solutions.  Had to return to Self Matters in December and then again in February of the next year.  It was that lousy Key 1 & 2.  I wet my thirst and need to understand what I was saying to myself cause I sure was tired of starting something and then suddenly find myself a couple of months down the line thinking about that SOMETHING again.  (that's a pattern for me -- I have since validated that my goal list was really my pattern list - everything eventually popped up and took me to the next pattern - now that I've been bringing accomplishments and closure to those goals, I have a life at long last). 

  

Anyway, my advice is for you to READ THE BOOK from front to cover AND then go back and really focus on doing the work.  Many people get lost in Chapter 4 because PAIN is addictive and the fear of the unknown is the wall we all run into.  I'm still working on understanding how FEAR works and how to keep stepping up and moving pass it. 

  

Welcome to the board. 

I sure hope that when I'm done this year with this work I will not have to return to this intensity.  I've shut myself up now for days working on goal work.  It wouldn't be bad if it weren't for the fact, I'm loving the HELL OF IT!!!  Every day, I review where I am and what is next.  I ask myself questions.  My 52nd Year of Living was a wonderful and powerful experience / time for me. Who would have ever thought I would say that and actually be able to prove it! 

  

The magazine articles are working out great!!!  I'm actually going to teach my support group how to use them in doing goal work.  It's really fabulous!!!  I'm so visual and this allows me to quickly find what I chose that particular goal!!!  And because the articles I've selected have BULLETS of "tasks/steps" to do - I don't have to think too much.  I'm highlighting the bullets that I want to attempt and my 53rd YEAR OF LIVING goals are coming along just fine.  The best part of it all is that because I'm walking into UNKNOWN territory, I'm being given the necessary steps to work on and every month there's a new magazine that can help me when I hit a wall. 

  

I'm also reviewing of the process from when I first started to where I am now.  I was so intense in the beginning, now, I'm more relaxed and it's easier for me.  I am gleaning out what doesn't work and even seeing how I've been doing month-by-month.  It's an awesome process and to think I would scream & kick to not do this.  Boy was I ever wrong! 

  

Yesterday's AHA Moment was realizing that my I AM SAFE work had 2 tapes working against it.  It all started when I realized that my FAT ADDICTION was now nothing more than a HABIT.  That I keep the addiction because I don't know how to handle what brings me back to square 1.  So I found stuff on RELAPSES and it said, when I relapse, I'll always return to where I felt SAFE the last time.  So I have been working on asking myself:  how do I feel?  SAFE?  That way going back won't take me back months.  HOWEVER, it wasn't right...  so yesterday, I sat down and began to explore "dating" again and allowed my tapes to run.    When I asked myself:  DO I FEEL SAFE NOW?  (my last relationship lasted 14.5 years and he was an alcholic for the last 5-7 years)  I discovered 2 different tapes running ... it went like this: 

  

I AM SAFE ....  I CAN'T DEFEND MYSELF PHYSICALLY ... I NEED SELF-DEFENSE CLASSES .. I NEED BOUNDARIES ...  I NEED TO TRUST MY INTUITION ... I NEED TO SAY NO ... I NEED A BACKUP PLAN (taxi #, taxi $, cellphone) ... I NEED TO LISTEN ... I DON'T NEED WHAT I HAD ... I DESERVE BETTER.   

  

the other one:  I AM SAFE ...  I COULD BE ATTACK AGAIN ... I NEED TO PREPARE ... I NEED A PLAN. 

  

Then suddenly, I realized that this was a big deal for me and I needed to do this.. and guess what???  Self-Defense is exercise and it's not on my "life" exercise list.   In fact, it's no where to be seen and it's the most important thing in my life that will help me move past the fear.  I want to take classes that teach me to protect myself in parking lots, or when someone tries to carjack my car.  I need to THINK!  RE-ACT!!!  I need to a plan .... 

  

hmmm, intense don't you think?  yet, without self matter's techniques, I would never been able to hear those 2 tapes and do something about them.  Each 1 has to be addressed ... that's my goal for 2006.  Cool huh?  and I heard a rumor that Dr. Phil's next book in on intimacy and dating -- so that will be my April book to start my spring & summer with.   

It's surprising how many persons go through life without ever recognizing that their feelings toward other people are largely determined by their feelings toward themselves, and if you're not comfortable within yourself, you can't be comfortable with others." ~ Sidney J. Harris  

 The journey to your Authentic Self is never-ending, because change is always inevitable. We are being continuously challenged by life, and so must learn some more about ourselves in the process.

 I'm probably the guiltiest when it comes to subjects that seem to "stray" from the pursuit of the authentic self. If this bothers anyone, please let me know.

 I found that life became so much more interesting and rewarding, so I share my latest adventures, explorations, and goals, as a possible inspiration to those who, like I used to be, sit on the side-lines and only wish. That is the purpose behind getting in touch with our higher, authentic selves isn't it? To lead more productive, happy, and fulfilling lives? But I'm more than happy to help anyone going through the book, facing those demons.