Topic : Defining Your Authentic Self

I just found a website that caculates the time between 2 dates.  So, I put in the day that I  had the aneurysm and today.  I have lived 4,800 days since I had it...  I think its a major acomplishment...  I wasn't suposed to make it 30 days...  That just makes me want to make it even farther....  I'm excited...  I cant wait to make it another 4,800 days....  yay!!!

 Thank you for sharing a small part of you, that really made big sense.  To look at me you could not tell I had a brain tumor and surgeries.  The scards are covered mostly by my hair.  I just appreciate you taking time to share you, in hopes of helping me feel better.  God Bless.

Wayne

Oh my goodness!  I'm a teacher and misspelled scars???  What's wrong with me.... okay, just kidding.

If sharing what I had to go through, and what I still go through helps just 1 person in the smallest way, then every bit of it is not only worth it, but worth it to keep sharing....  If there's anything else you would like to know, or need let me know.  I'm only 23 years old but I feel like I'ved a lifetime...  I'm still not ready to give up...

I am working on the book Self Matters.  I am having some trouble with years 1-5, remembering much of anything.  Years 6-12 is packed with "crazy" stuff.   My question for those of you who have done the book and workbook already is this:  How do you figure out which memories fit into you ten defining moments?  Can there be more than one in each age group?  I am already seeing were patterns have repeated, but not quit at the root or some or sure if they are the root.........confused. 

  

Any advice out there?? 

  

S.G, 

In STL 

Most of us have some difficulty working out what defining moments really are - and the other thing - 10 is not a magical number - it is simply an average.  The age groups likewise are a guide to help you focus your thinking.   

  

As you work through this part of the book you will have many memories - some very strong and vivid, others dimmed and less than impressive.  The key to determining whether these memories are defining moments or just significant events is this: 

  

Can you look at yourself - the person - going into the moment and then the person who came out of the moment and see a distinctly changed person?  The changes must be in the way you view not only your self but also the world. 

  

If there is a real and lasting difference (doesn't matter whether it was a positive or a negative change) then that moment is truly a defining moment.  If there was no such change then the moment was simply a significant and lasting memory. 

  

One of the other things to remember is that we all have positive and negative defining moments.  They each have great value and we should look for the positive defining moments - not just the negative ones.  For if we seek only the negative we can run the risk with later exercises of losing the real and lasting benefits that the old positive ones have had on our life. 

  

I recall that I started with 33 significant memories but when I started to apply the value test on them I distilled the list down to 13 defining moments.  So don't get hung up on specific quantities - your life is defined by what happened to you and not by the number 10!!! 

  

Keep at it the ultimate prize is you. 

Thank you so much for your insight and words of encouragement.  I tend to be very, very literal about things!  I was getting a little stressed about fitting everything into that box of  ten!!!! 

Now I can just continue logging memories and weeding out!! 

  

Have a great night! 

I suffer with anxiety problems and it has totally ruined my life.  At 27 I haven't even experienced the things that a 16 year old has experienced.  I've been in a rut in my life for so long.  I've never gotten my driver's license, therefore, I don't drive.  I've never had a job before either.  I just finished college this month and got my associate degree.  Now I don't have any excuses for not being able to move on except for my anxiety.  It's so hard to watch all of my younger cousins driving and working and I still never experienced that.  It makes me feel like I don't fit in and like I'm not good enough.  Two of my younger cousins are married even.  I feel like that's something that's never going to happen for me, but that's another story.  When they have kids it's going to make me feel even worse.  I should be happy for all of these people, but instead it depresses me. 

 There ARE things you can do for anxiety. Check out relaxation techniques.
I was late getting my driver's license too. I hated being watched or scrutinized because the criticisms would surely follow. It was easier to just not do things at all than to be browbeaten and belittled. My friends taught me to drive.
If this is your problem, you don't have to be taught by the ones that criticize you. There are plenty of driving schools out there and they teach people of all ages. They are professional and won't make you feel small.
If your fears have to do with being in accidents or hurting somebody or yourself, there are counselors out there that can help you overcome this phobia.
The hardest part is admitting you have a problem that you need help with to sovle. We all have our bogeys that hold us back, if you learn to deal with yours at a young age you will be better able to face others.

I am 37 going to be 38 in July. I was told by the Dr. I have a Herniated Disk & I have lumber Back Daises. I have 4 Children & A very loving Husband. We have been Married for 15 years. I have been on all kinds of med to get the pain out of my back. Well I just stopped taking all the med & I now only have the pain now & then. I still am over weight & I was told that I am 85 pounds over weight. I would like to lose this weight. It is not easy sometimes getting going. I have to take sleeping med to go to sleep. God Bless us all..