Topic : Defining Your Authentic Self

Ritehere, I think you'd be pleased to know I found someone who really (and can) help me with my family-history and have found some good information through 'Scotland's People'. 

  

This could just be a kind of catalyst (but I'm not sure) for some new directions. 

  

  

If Australians have got real problems, then that is it because of the differences in backgrounds.  We don't all suit Australian environments. (natural or artificial) 

  

Americans - obesity and over-communication 

British Isles - Vitamin D deficiency and under-communication issues 

Australia - skin problems (I like most do not have perfect skin) and early childhood social and education malnutrition 

  

  

  

Sorry, but I did not understand a word you said?

Unless these people know your past or have read your diaries or someone has published your sins in the newspaper and they have read it; then they don't know your past. 

  

Before I read SELF MATTERS and applied the techniques to my life, I always lived my life believing that I was being judged for what I had done or been.  Not for who I am NOW. 

  

Like the show STARTING OVER.  When you have truly forgiven yourself and have let your past go, you have started over totally and your past is just that, your past.  It was hard for me to understand that and then to work thru my own faulty thinking about the people around me.  

  

It's not easy to let your past go ... I spent years working on it and now, well, I really don't care what I did in the past. I just use it as a reference as what I will not do the next time and those memories no longer circulate in my head.  It's like they've been erased. I know that they defined me, now they just are memories like of me spending a neat day with my family at the park.  They no longer own me. 

It has been a while since I posted here - life has thrown many things at me lately, however I have emerged out the other side of these challenges a much stronger and happier person and ready for a whole new life.   

  

That new life is based upon the realities that I revealed to myself a long time ago yet didn't have the courage to completely accept nor confront.  I was inspired to confront them and as a result of the goodness of spirit of the friend that inspired I can look forward to the future with a sense of excitement and anticipation. 

  

We should all look deep within our own self and not deny the realities that the search for our true self reveals.  To deny them is to deny our self the opportunities of a real and exciting future fulfilling our real purpose.  For each of us has a purpose for our life - some would say it is divine purpose -others fate or kismet or some other function of the universe - whatever description or belief we place on it we all do have such a purpose and it is our responsibility to fulfill that purpose. 

  

It feels so good to feel really happy and to know that finally I can really start to soar - just like the eagle I use as my logo here - it has slowly inspired me and with the help of people who have truly cared for me and loved me I can now start to reach the heights I was destined for. 

  

So to all of you who come here - like me you can do it - look around you - reach out - or alternatively grasp the hand that is reaching for yours - often from a source you least expect - or perhaps have been resisting (as I was) and it can help you reach your heights 

 There's a  good many of us that don't know who we are or what we want in life. We live  day-to-day and nothing seems to change year after year.
You came to this board for a reason, probably to start that process of "defining your authentic self."  We can help you, but the true guidance will be found in SELF MATTERS. This board can help you with pointers, and explain some parts of the book, but it's no substitute for the work you do with Dr Phil when you read the book.
I urge you, don't wait another day to read the book. We'll be here to cheer you on and commiserate with some of the more difficult chapters.
Come back and let us know how it's going for you.

I'm back from my jaunt to the Big Apple. It was miserable weather the day Hubby took this from the Stanton Island Ferry. There was actually near white-out conditions from the snow for awhile, so we decided not to take the tour of the Statue of Liberty as the ferry over there was not enclosed.
We'll have to go back some day and see all of the things we missed on this short trip.
New York is an exciting place, but it reinforced my self knowledge that I'm not cut out for the big city. I was completely worn out by the time we left. I require space, solitude, and quiet to recharge my batteries, things that are in short supply in the city!
Looking forward to getting back to normal now.

 I find that it's an ever deepening search as I go along. The more layers we peel away to be exposed to the bright light of truth, the higher we acsend. The logical acceptance of our realities is not the same as confronting the emotional reality. Yours is a true friend indeed.
Onward and upward!

 Many times the answers we're looking for are right there in our own words.  You say, "...some of the girls...get on my nerves really bad. They act so perfect...I feel as if they are judging me...I'm a good person but...I have done things I regret." I think there is self-judgment here.
Now read this with extra attention: "I do not act like I'm better than other people...but how do I deal with people who act like their sh*t don't stink and they have no skeletens in their closet?...I know that no one is perfect,...I...go to college with a lot of bitc*es." Who is judging who?
And last: "I'm so tired of being made to feel like I'm ashamed of myself...all I want to do is become a better person in life and to learn from my mistakes." Again, the self-judgment.

Your words reflect how you feel inside. Is it REALLY what these girls are doing and saying? Are they belittling you, or saying condescending things to you, or showing you in some other way that they are intentionally putting you below them?
Please don't misinterpret me, I'm not on their side, I'm on your side. I too used to feel judged and put down, until it became clear that nobody judged me as badly as I judged myself. What I projected upon them was only a mirror of my own self-hate.
I too was sick and tired of being made to feel ashamed of who I was. It takes this sort of attitude to finally decide to do something about it. When you learn to accept yourself and all of your past events with self-love, it makes no difference what others say or do to you. It becomes their mistake and their loss. SELF MATTERS is not a quick fix, but it will help you change the rest of your life.
My advice is to get the book and read it. Granted, it won't help you with the girls at school right now, but it will help you with others like them in the future.

Good luck to you.