Topic : Defining Your Authentic Self

Quote From: michelyne5

Read your post and the first thing that comes to my mind is the way you protected yourself by being detached.Is it that maybe you don't want to face the music again and go somewhere you were so unhappy.I personaly have no recolection of feelings about my youth except that we were left to ourself and we were supose to be good and quiet .Feelings was something that was not discuss and something that was prooving weekness.  

  

Couples years ago i decided to let by gone be by gone and live only the moments.I know that someday i will have to face the truth about my feelings .Even my 3 sisters don't want to discuss any of our past  i guess it is because our parents are still alive and we feel oblige to bee good and quiet girls still. But i am sure that one day all of ours feelings will come out and that we will all feel relieve and free ......that will be a great day  

  

So be good to yourself let it come if it has to, or else life will put you in position to learn an other way. Take care and enjoy the moment dear Brenda 

  

Sincerly Lyne 

Quote From: marcia52

I wrote these words down and refer to them every so often: 

  

We learn difficult concepts by studying them until we "get it" and then by stopping for a while to let the ideas settle. 

 

It reminds me that I need to space my self from charging forward -- I need to process.   

  

Sometimes, and it does happen frequently, I discovered that when I awake, I have worked it out and know what the next step is. 

Quote From: longstory

I took that last summer at the top of the Crags trail. I like to run there once in a while. It is a beautiful and challenging run.

Quote From: marcia52

Brenda, for me personally, I did the same ...  I wrote out my history and found that I couldn't connect to the event really.  I mean, I had done the work previously over & over again, that I just couldn't understand why I had to do it again.  But somewhere I read where he said that if I get upset or angry, than I haven't bought closure to it.  And because I was in a really intensive nasty work situation, I was enmeshed from it.  So it was painful, not my childhood or early adulthood. 

  

What I loved about Self Matters was the last 7 chapters on Internal Dialogue.  I focused my energy on SEWING so that I could hear why I wasn't able to focus on it.  It allowed me to listen to my fears and then write out steps to help me work thru it.  Like taking a class on altering skirts & pants so that I could see if it could provide me with the missing knowledge.   Then I took a class on how to make a shirt, and then I made x-mas presents (a couple of flannel gowns & pj's for my great nephew & niece).   

  

As I gained the knowledge and learned to LISTEN and then ask the 3 questions (Is it True?), I was able to figure out if I needed to learn something - like goal work or a behavior -- or if I had already learned / educated myself and never connected the dots.  That was pretty funny actually.  I spent so many years reading, taking classes, talking with other people that I never actually was able to truly apply what I had learned until I discovered CONNECTING THE DOTS.   

  

Now, I'm able to easily hear the "tape" because the key for me is:  I just disconnect and forget about it.  Now, I know that when I'm doing goal work that I need about 20 minutes, my journal, and a separate notepad.  I write my goal down and then begin to break it down into separate steps or just begin writing about it.  If I discover that I've just faded out - then I start the process all over again but this time, I have the notepad ready to listen to what I'm saying.  Sometimes, it takes me a couple of attempts before I maintain my focus.  Then I can ask the questions. 

  

Marcia 

Quote From: marcia52

With me doing MER once again, I have opened myself to admitting that until I can release my painful childhood, I will never be able to deal with my mom or others until I let go of my past.  Like yesterday, when I kept getting angry for her being who she is.  Now, I want to bring stop being angry for her being her.  It's pittling stuff like - she loves shopping, seeing stuff. I got her to make a list and instead of praising her, I got angry cause she grazes.  I'm the one who is learning to conquer MINDLESS SHOPPING so why am I so mad at her!  So now, my goal is to truly forgive my mom and acknowledge that I've broken the pattern we wrote when I was a child.  She can keep her pattern cause it doens't own me anymore. 

  

Because I've done MER again, I once again opened so many new doors!  Boy do I love forgiveness work because it means that I can see possibilities again! 

  

This time, with the help of Al Secunde's book:  THE 15-MINUTE SOLUTION  & Rhonda Britton's book:  CHANGE YOUR LIFE IN 30 DAYS, I have been able to name more stuff that I've discovered about myself.  Like: 

1. That if I THOUGHT ABOUT WHAT I DIDN'T WANT IN MY LIFE, I would not beable to do what it was I wanted in my life.   What I discovered a few months ago was that when I just stopped thinking about it, I did it.  Al's chapter on Resistance was an eye opener.
2. That my BECOMING COMFORTABLE with the new idea/change/behavior/habit is what Rhonda calls:  Stretch.  RISK is when I begin to take the steps to do it.  DIE is when I have to commit and take a major step like when I committed to how I was going to pay off my credit cards. It took me June & July to work thru STRETCH & RISK - and I really had to force myself to do DIE - sit down, write the check and send it off.  I knew I was right-on and that it was the best plan but to do it was so frightening.

I'm just so thankful that I picked out 2 books that could help me and that I had figured out what it was I was looking for cause now I don't have to read the entire books unless I want to.  Al's book does a lot of reflection back to Dr. Phil's books.  He says things differently but they have the same meaning. 

  

I do like Rhonda's book though but doing the book in 30 days is unreal in my eyes.   But, I do like her daily format cause it allows me to see that I'm on track.  Like Day 7: Are You Making It UP or is It TRUE?  That naming for me is:  FAIRY TALE.   

  

It's what I needed - a shot in the arm that I'm on track and that journaling and goal work is the way to go here.  I'm just so glad I chose 1 big goal to help me learn how to LISTEN TO MYSELF (Sewing) and then allow myself to master those techiques & skills as I processed my life.  I'm actually thankful that I'm fat because everytime I binged/overate or wanted to, I knew that I was listening to well-worn tape/script.   

Quote From: longstory

   

   

    

   

  

  

The clouds float by  

with winds on high  

very blue the sky  

I see with my eyes  

where the future lies  

the sun on the rise  

hear the bird's cry    

a new day is nigh    

my wings I try    

flight in to the sky    

the day goes by    

I am ME, I cry...    

Quote From: longstory

When the deepest part of you becomes engaged in what you are doing, when what you do serves both yourself and others, when you do not tire within but seek the sweet satisfaction of your life and your work, you are doing what you were meant to be doing.

Quote From: ritehere

 This trail is on Pikes Peak correct? I did a short search but couldn't find it.