Topic : Defining Your Authentic Self

Hello everyone, I am going through a difficult time with many ups and downs.  I recently lost my father.  Although we had not talked for eight years I still felt the grief when he died.    

I lost my family when I made the choice to take my grandfather to court for sexually abusing me. They all took his side against me in court. It hurt, but who am I to say what is right or wrong.   

I was adopted into an unhealthy family and never felt a part of it. I left home at age fourteen and have been struggling to find my true self.  I left my husband three years ago and moved to another city, but remained in contact and still went back and forth to see him.  My therapist says he is very controlling and has anger issues.    

It is difficult to maintain therapy because my work does not cover her and it is expensive. Under the circumstances I am trying to do my best, but I am tired.  I have always seeked approval and acceptance and I do realize the most important person that I need this from is me.    

I just want to find my true self and accept that person.    

Why does it have to be such a struggle?  

Anyway, thank you for listening.  

I have been interested in what you've been doing.  In many ways do resemble what I have or haven't done, but have thought of doing.  Maybeit is because sometimes words and views and opinions are not enough, but one has to look at the more deep-rooted things about ourself, like phobias, living life as it is, what others need to do to realise their own dreams and so one must at least have some internal success themself.   

That is why I think that you may be changing your pathway, that when one does succeed, then one must improve in new areas, but still use what one has learned, especially as a platform, in self understanding.  ie.  In using your own concentration and skills from doing meditation etc. 

I don't know that being happy can happen if things are in turmoil within, like within because maybe what calms one may irritate another.   

Good luck with your internal striving.  I just know that what is around you must also be inside. 

There is a very good reason I feel that new lands are settled.  Sometimes it also helps those left behind, as there is a way to go, if they want to.   

I'm only just realising the truths (of my own writings). 

I'd like some more quotes though. 

See all next week.