Topic : Defining Your Authentic Self

Quote From: creation24

I have come to realise that a person is judged more on who they are then the things they do weather its good or bad. The person you are inside is the one who makes the conscience decision. Your character ultimalty makes the decision which effects your life. 

To become a strong willed and wise person a person has to sit down and re-evaluate who they are before making any step.  

Your a unique person all by yourself but your self worth and self authenticity is what you make it. 

People will always try and bring you down and try to move forward with no self worth. 

Its important to realize how much it can really effect your life.  

Having a strong moral character and a good social behaviour are keys to making it a success. 

Your values have to be instilled and then applied in life to take shape inside yourself. 

There is a problem and a solution....in order to get from the problem to the solution you have to make changes that will erase the negative aspects and will allow the positive aspects to grow.... 

I believe that morality, which includes honesty, integrity, kindness, and other traits is one way that your spirit is healed if used in the proper places and times. 

When you apply these traits and your spirit is healed through them your satisfaction ultimatly goes to the soul which heals by feeling positive vibes. 

Eventually when you keep at it. your whole system inside takes shape causing a good chemical reaction which eventualy reacts to the other parts of you. You start to FEEL better inside for doing good things....and thats a fight that you keep going until the end of your time. 

  

Quote From: ritehere

 I know you are going through some hard times, but think of all of the hardships you have already endured and overcome. You had no control over being put up for adoption and who adopted you. Many of us share a similar fate at the hands of those who give birth to us, at least you don't have to wonder if you share the same genes as these people. I'm not making light of your harrowing experiences with them, I'm pointing out a fact.
That someone within this family abused you is disgraceful, but that nobody believed you or took your side is even more so. That you stood up to them and left them when they showed no regard or loyalty to you shows a strength and inner regard that few of us have at such a tender age. This is a trait of the authentic self, to hold yourself important enough not to let others abuse you.
Same goes for your decision to leave your husband when he displayed abusive tendencies towards you. The fact that you remain in contact indicates that you have a forgiving and compassionate nature, that you are willing to give him a second chance, but not endure further abuse while he decides if he's going to pull his head out. This also indicates that you listen to your better and higher self. You have accepted that we can only change ourselves, and we can only influence others but not change them. If he does not decide to work on his anger and controlling attitude, this is not your fault. It is his, and also his loss. All you can do is point him in the right direction and hope the best for him.
We all want acceptance, approval, and love. But the first one we need to accept and love is ourselves. You have done this. You are such a strong person!  If you find it difficult to stay in therapy, there are  books out there that help. My personal recommendation is SELF MATTERS, but there are many. You may want to try to find a support group in your area.
My very best wishes to you and for your future.

Quote From: taemanai

like your really appreciating life (all that you have) 

  

That's great 

  

Belinda 

Quote From: taemanai

their most treasured possession?  Where did he/she get it?  Why is it a treasure?
 

  

Quote From: taemanai

What were you saved from?  Are they things that are easy to understand? 

  

How is your son doing?  (how old is he now)  Do you think he knows who he is yet?  Childhood is a funny time, because things occur in certain parameters, both good, and not so.  I don't know if adults realise the potential of children by the kinds of parameters that they put upon them.  

  

There is an interesting programme about 'changing spouses'.  The latest one had a spouse who was highly unsual, with crooked teeth.  No friends etc.  But she wanted her 'pretend spouse' to write out what his faults were'.  This was so direct and blunt that maybe, in a sense, she wanted him to be as aware of his faults as when she grew up with insults about her own flaws. ie. crooked teeth. 

  

 It is interesting I feel, how extreme the families are on this show are.  How surprising. 

  

I think swapping spouses would be like climbing the cliffs of treachery, 

  

Taemanai 

  

  

Quote From: taemanai

It was so confusing in what I was supposed to do and where I was supposed to be going.  I think that I did sport because I wanted to achieve, I did music, because I wanted to achieve and be special, I did martial arts because I wanted to achieve and be special and to defend myself, I did science because I wanted to achieve and be special and to know things and to be skillful enough to do what I wanted.  I did maths (some effort into trigonometry etc for a while) and other various actiivties (shorter times) like cadets because I found fascination with these things, as well as all the other be special, achieve etc.   

  

Now I wonder how in the world can schools create such complexity within their programmes.  Has anyone thought that complexity without real understanding of the world, is a traumatic and stressful situation to be in?     

Quote From: marcia52

Belinda, I think that's why those of us who just EXIST from 1 day to the next know deep within us that there is something else; however, because pain is so addictive that any attempts to break out of it keeps us returning to it.  For those who have known that there is a different, better life style, maybe they have it easier than those of us who know no one that is living it. 

  

Does that make sense? 

Quote From: debdupuy

Thank you for your reply.  It is difficult for me because I feel very alone.  I am grateful to have such an amazing job working as a RN. It helps me show my compassion and care toward others.  

I just never thought I would be so alone. How do you say good-bye to a family who really did not want you in the first place. It is diffiucult when family times come and everybody at work talks about being with there family.  I guess this is one of the reasons I still hold on to my husband. 

I do not want to sound as if I am feeling sorry for myself.  I just want to find a way to move on and believe in myself. 

Dr. Phil has such an amazing show and it is helpful to watch and learn.  He is a great teacher. 

Thank you again for your kindness.  You words I take to heart and will truly listen to them. 

Best wishes to you too.  

Quote From: ritehere

 Wonderful to hear from you again. Any new insights or life lessons?

Quote From: marcia52

I find that what ever question I put out there in the way of seeking an answer comes to me the next day or so.  For example, I just committed to doing the SUMMER SLIM again. I like committing to his wt loss challenge because by giving my word it means I must do as best as I can.  And I've been so focused on my yard that I needed to remember that my health is my biggest commitment in my life right now. 

  

So as I committed to losing 10 lbs by 8/8 - I also asked for help in figuring out my plan ... so one day, I'm reading an article about habits and the first habit PROCRASTINATION was exactly what I needed to remember -- that when that occurs, 3 things could be holding be back:  (1) worrying about what others will think; (2) fear of failure; and (3) my family and friends will disown me.  It suggested that my fix would be to play the WHAT IF GAME... isn't that cool! 

  

Then I finally purchased the YOU, THE OWNERS MANUAL - it really is cool!  and I found IBMs and NUTs  -- cause one of my biggest fears about going back to work is not being able to handle myself properly.  Then these 2 stressors popped up and WOW, I'm now able to move forward and know that I'm going to be okay. 

  

(IBM = important but manageable; NUT = nagging undone tasks) 

  

So I've opened my arms to finding a new job.  I'm still tackling my runaway yard. Just got one area done and hopefully it's not going to rain tomorrow so I'll be able to get the weedwacker out and see what else I can get accomplished.