Quote From: blgspc
I’ve found that in dealing with chronic problems involving the Mentally Ill many people do, in fact have to make very difficult choices, for themselves as well as, their families. Again, there are often very negative reactions to those choices.
One thing hasn’t been fully addressed except in passing in your post. While your son is a young adult and still growing emotionally, there are often very young children out there stuck with the experience of being with a person who is emotionally unstable. In some instances the children are left with the responsibility of caring for person who is Mentally Ill. This is NOT acceptable!
I am saying that not only as a healthcare provider but as someone who LIVED that experience.
Children are struggling to learn and grow. (I’m sounding like Dr. Phil, here, I know.) Leaving children to deal with complex adult situations, like a psychotic person, to manage BEFORE they are able to care for themselves is UNACCEPTABLE. It does more than create a negative experience and change who they are, they actually are often forced to abandon learning and growing and just work on SOME means of surviving each and every day. Often they wind up in an adult world, chronologically an adult, but without the skills others have learned while being children. I’m not merely referring to those important missed emotional growth milestones. For me it was stupid stuff like, when it’s going to be raining all day, bring an umbrella! And, in winter it gets cold so you have to buy and remember to wear an overcoat, when it’s 30 degrees outside! And, you need to eat three meals a day not just when you get hungry or when food is available. I’m talking about learning to addressing the most basic human needs. When you’re struggle just to survive EVERYTHING else becomes secondary!
I’ve done enough pontificating, now. My point is that children need to be spared the responsibility of grappling to deal with things that don’t involve the business of being a child!!!
I do wish you only the best in making those difficult choices and know that it is healthy to say, ‘No!’ when others are pushing you to do anything that is not in the best interest of yourself and/or your family.
Brenda
Brenda, I'm with you. I really think that Dr. Phil has done so much in bringing together so many people with his guests. Sometimes, I think it's all fake, but then I realize that I know people like his guests and their lives are that screwed up.
He caught my attention back in Sept. 03 with the WLC - the bus ride to the mansion. Then I caught only his "WLC" shows ... then I was able to catch them 2x a week -- they were amazing to me. I was able to find a part of who I am in nearly every show I watch.
And if I am, then so are others. It's a slow process Brenda, but as we heal, we will heal others. I see that all the time with the people I hang around. There are so many of us who have been searching for the answers - the tools to understand why we are searching.
I gave away over 100 self-help books earlier this year -- I have to wean my library again - but I know that I don't need them anymore ... my search has ended. I understand now how to handle life's nasty hiccups/challenges. I know that running away and hiding only makes it worse.
Now, I'm using magazines to help me keep myself together ... I can't believe how many books I've ordered from the library just because I've read an article and they referenced the author. I figure that it's a whole lot cheaper than buying books at the normal price - and if I really want it in my library, I'm heading for the 1/2 Price Books - I got Harriet Lerner's FEAR & OTHER UNINVITED GUESTS for $2.00. That's one book I want to keep in my library so that I can give it to someone later on down the line who needs to understand what Fear / Anxiety / and the other nasty emotions that keep us prisoners.
