Topic : Defining Your Authentic Self

Dear Noralee,

Your empty shell is a feeling ,witch means that it can only be acknoledge as true because ,feeling come from the soul and they are the reflection of it but....... one day you may find yourself  (as i did) looking for some inner peace because your soul will not tolerate another moment of sadness and emptiness. I am sure that you think that you have endure some of the worst life can pitch , and you are right about it, but still if you look at the joys in your life a smile will come to your face .... in the picture you post ,i can see it ..... first you have to covince yourself that you are worth it.... and you are like anyone who breaths....the fact that you wrote on this site is the best proof that you still care and hope .

I have been where you are believe me , the day you will decide that you regain your self estime back  the shell will break .... sure it won't be easy but it is worth it... the obesity is only a consequence of the hurt inside, it can be deal with ,it is not irreversible.....  the first step to make is to make a list of the good you see in yourself and work with it ..... try to forget about the past and take one day at a time.... one pound at a time....find some beauty in this world and look for the good not the bad.... your mood will change and so will you.....

my personnal email is wrote in my personnal file , if you want to write i will be very happy to share your  new journey  and try to help you.... take care of yourself......sincerly Lyne

A pitch is an interesting word indeed.  It is a baseball term, an intro to a movie script, and a tone. 

What they all have in common is the manipulation of an action or speed or wave. 

Something to ponder.  When it comes to pitch, things never change.  A constant that one remembers on some instinctive level. 

If I left this site, what would be others responces I wonder? (just testing the waters, probably won't for a while, but there could be big changes ahead and I thought others could relate to this and understand.)

That culture is indeed also in the Netherlands. I also think that this issue is a part in my boyfriends behavior. I believe he thinks that the work he does is inferieur and deep inside he is ashamed.

Then there is a issue with his father. The relationship with him has broken because he is- as I call it- mentally abused by him. He has told him many times that he is a zero and always will be. That ofcourse has a big inpact. My boyfriend tells me he has worked that out, but I think there stil lays the biggest problem; in my view he has not worked that out at all. I think now he is prooving to the world (and himself?) that his father is wrong.

I have talked to him about this. I know exactly how he feels because my father deed that to me too. I told him I learned to forgive my father and since then I am doing a whole lot better.

You know, you see a lot on the show about people facing their own demons and the relative issuesarising as those demons are levied upon others.  Funny we're always asked to look at ourselves when aTTEMPTING TO PUT ALL THE PEICES TOGETHER. As a cabinetmaker and surfer I've learned a handy way of putting self into perspective to simplify things.

You see for instance when doing custom cabinetry, to acheive the customers' satisfaction you need to talk, you need to know what the client wants, what they sense and ultimately you need to know how to satisy their need. You use your skill to maintain the integrity and efficiency of the task at hand, YOUR TASK, and ultimately it is only yours for those long minutes and short hours in which you're stepping throught process of customer satisfaction...  sure, you lay everything out and shoot for a goal per the clients specifications but the batlle is not with the client or the wood,  the task or anything other than what YOU yourself must do in order to dance gracefully toward the enlightenment of sucsess. For the time being, you let others dictate where they may not be the best canidate to do so, and you work it out until they are the only canidate, you dig deep inside and deliver what it is they want when in fact they ften even know not what exactly that is.  You make it beautiful for all involved  at any personal expense.

You grow,

I am a long time fan of Dr. Phil's, from the Oprah days and I come here now, in hopes of finding answers to my misery.  I am familiar with Self Matters and a few of his other books and think that they are very insightful books; however, right now I have so many problems that I am overwhelmed with my life and spend much of my time depressed and crying.  Let me tell you about how 2006 has been the worst year of my life.  First of all, I left my husband (my third) of 4 years for another man (27 year old recovering drug addict and alcoholic) whom I fell in love with and felt an amazing bond with very quickly.  On January 1st I told my husband I was leaving him and moved in with my boyfriend.  On January 18 (right before my 39th birthday) my father (83 years old) died, after declining health for some time, but I chose for various reasons to not attend the funeral in Florida.  My sister, given the trust to carry out my father's wishes failed horribly and managed only to cause more problems within our family.  Then, in May, the most painful of all, my best friend and the one person I always knew I could depend on, my brother (51 years old) died unexpectedly.  That is the climax of my bad year, but my year of pain continued.  In July, I was fired from my job and have spent the last few months sending resumes and frantically looking for work.  Did I mention that I have horrible credit, no savings, and only debt and a small unemployment check to get me by?  I haven't even begun to describe the relationship with my boyfriend.  I am at a point in my life where I am utterly lost and now, with the loss of my brother, I don't have anyone who understands me or cares about me like he did.  I cannot express in words how much loss I have experienced but it has been the most devastating year of my 39 years and some days I just wish it was over.  My life has never been one that is meaningful, just a constant stream of scenes.  I realize that being married (unsuccessfully) 3 times says a lot about me, and I do not blame anyone but myself.  I am co-dependent and have been having these issues my whole life.  I would like to find myself, my true self, and make my life happier but I have so many issues in my life right now, that I am lost and do not know where or how to fix anything.  I think to myself sometimes, that I have nothing to look forward to in this life and the bad thing is, is that I know if I continue living like this that I will be right.

i am unsure where to post this. its more of a question (rumor), but i felt it deals with "authentic selves".  my daughter is studying pyschology and one of her professors read an article on dr. phil. i am not sure where it came from, but would like to know if anyone else knows anything. he said that dr. phil can no longer practice in texas because of inappropriate conduct with an intern or patient-don't have any details other than that. just curious.

thanks