Topic : Defining Your Authentic Self

I know that it's hard for guys to look me in the eyes when they talk ... it's not their normal communication style .. so when a guy can do it, well, that's a sure sign they have good communication skills in place.  I also know that if I really want to reach a male ...  I will talk to him like a guy would ... it's something I learned from a PBS show on male/female communication styles.  I did it one time and it worked on my ex- ...  I've just continued to do it.

And you are right ... there are major deal breakers for me too.  And I'm still going to read Smart Love next year and see how much I've remembered, how much I've thought thru, and how much I need to address PLUS I want to do Dr. Robin Smith's questions in her book LIES AT THE ALTAR.  I want to do them to see how I would answer them ... sometimes I get the feeling I have boundaries and yet at the same time, I couldn't tell you if I had to ...  so I figure her 200+ questions would be a good way to go.

Linda, I used to worked so hard ... remember ... on working thru my exercise issues ... now, I have ways of dealing with what's going on ... like the negative self-talk I'm getting from the yoga/pilates class ... all because I wrote tapes back in Oct. 03 when I first started taking classes.

It's all sorts of crazy stuff ... written by my adult self so there's not years and years of automatic tapes.  I've already begun to tackle them ... feels good having TRUTH readily available ... I'M A FITNESS DIVA ...  and the truth is, I AM.  I'm so much better than I was when I first started out and I still have a ways to go; however, by this time next year, I'll be at a totally different place.

I'm hoping to get into hiking next summer ... and maybe even riding my bike ...  I got new plans for next year ... and I know it can and will happen because, I'm just moving for the fun of it!

When I began to read the book, I found that I was trying to use all the stuff I KNEW and use it ... so I finally said ENOUGH!!!  I simply did the exercises without too much thought ... however, I read the book and then came back ...  I decided to use a THEME / SUBJ MATTER ...

I guess Linda, it's all about how you learn .. I'm analytical type and I tend to try to make everything fit in a box that I know.  And the book never did!

Maybe what we should do is actually write a little blurb from you, me, Brenda (she's read the book), and anyone who has ... I know that as an analytical learner ... I had to step back and just read it so I would stop trying to figure out how it was to work.  What do you think?

Since one group of exercises tend to build on the others, it's quite difficult to just do them randomly. Though I am breaking this rule right now, in an attempt to desensitize my self to the content and ACTUALLY, eventually work through the exercises sequencially.

Brenda 

I posted about volunteer work with the Katrina victims. None of the places that I gave my name and number to returned my calls. Even the agency I had worked for said that they already had too many volunteers and too few victims, even though they called me!

I have my resume prepared. I just don't have the cover letter completed. I'm an RN and I would love to work in a community doctor's office. I've had several MD's say, "Well, leave your resume with me I have friends who are looking for a retired RN!"  I'm procrastinating! Changing my nursing approach from Behavioral Health to Community Health AND meeting new strangers...I have cold feet.

I'm glad that you have your dance class! I always go through this period of terror at meeting a group of people. It's not quite as bad if they are health care worker, or family that I've known forever. But, I still break out into a sweat with an ordinary group.

I'm going to work on that as well. I'm going to get the resumes handed out!!!!!

Brenda 

well i am new to the boards and live in europe. I am in a very good relationship with a man that's 15 years older then i am. I get along with his kids tremendously. I am currently in therapy and receive disability benefits, so i have hope of finding my authentic self. I have a masters degree in music and that's where my problem lies. There is no work for musicians except teching jobs which i don't want to anymore. I have to change my direction but how do i find my authentic job any tips?

thanks pat.