Topic : Defining Your Authentic Self

When you speak with Lynn, or write, please let her know my thoughts and prayers are with her.  She has faced so much lately and I pray she does not feel alone in this.   

Teri 

I'll certainly keep Lynn in my thoughts and prayers!!! If you touch base with her please let her know that I'll be with her in spirit. While tragedy has a ripple effect, so do kindness and caring. Please convey my condolences in this extremely difficult time!!!! 

  

  

Brenda 

I feel really bad today. I wrote for the first time on this message board yesterday and I was just full of self pitty over the state of my life and my inability to define my authentic self.  It all seem's kind of dumb when I think of what your friend Lynn is going through.  I dont know anyone on the boards yet and I have never talked to Lynn but I feel for her pain right now.  I want to express my sympathy for her loss of a friend and for her husbands health problems.  Please let her know my prayers are with her and her family as they go through these hard times. Barb

 Never minimize the pain you feel. If its affecting your life, it IS a big deal. How can we truly love others, and help others, if we cannot love and help ourselves? The old saying charity begins at home really means that we can only be effective when we have that unshakable regard for ourselves. This board is here for exactly the reasons you posted.
A little secret...,helping others with any experiences you may have lived through often times helps you more than the person who posted looking for help. It's very much a two-way street. Giving love and support to others is an excellent way of learning to love and support yourself through hard times.

 Lynn reads the posts, so I'm sure she will get your messages, but I will let her know anyway. Thank you so much.

 

Hi there!

I was recently diagnosed with Asperger syndrome (a form of high functioning autism). ADD and AS, as you probably know by now, are both neuropsychological disorders. I have some expreience about ADD and ADHD, though mostly in children. I have to ask what medication you're on? It sounds to me like it's not doing it's job. I'm not sure I caught you right, you don't seem to be fond of your medication either? After what I know about ADD and ADHD and medication, the meds are supposed to help you relax and focus. It might be that you get a too low dose or simply have the wrong medication (Concerta might work for one person, but Ritalina might be better for someone else).

I do recognize the tense body from a lot of stories that I've read and myself. Have you ever tried wrapping a blanket really tight around yourself? Learning to tighten and then relax your muscles might also help. I had this myself a year ago or so, when I was in a lot of stress and deep down in the Hell of Depression. I also wonder what kind of help you recieve? How does your days look? Having routines might help you relax too.

Feel free to email me if you want to, my email is enzymbia@yahoo.se (I'm Swedish by the way). You can also add me to your Yahoo!Messenger if you have one. I'll be happy to help in any way I can.

Take care,

- Enzymbia.

 It's hard to answer this since we are all different, but I will try. There are many factors that go into our state of health, mentally and physically. When one or more gets out of whack, it can be a round-robin of symptoms, some leading to others. Many times seemingly different ailments can have the same root cause.
I used to be very tense, and just plain irritated inside all the time. I had nervous habits, and like you just wanted the world to leave me alone. I also had a long list of physical symptoms, none serious, but I took all kinds of over-the-counter meds. I won't get into all that, it would fill a book.
My road to health and peace began with nutrition. I was overweight and had tried many diets, yo-yo'd and was not in good health or spirits. When low-carb eating came along I tried it because, hey, why not? Well it worked for me. Many of my physical ailments disappeared over night and the others over the next two months. And, the tense irritability left also. I was actually energetic but happy. Now, I'm not saying this will work for you, but if you eat a lot of sugar, try cutting it out for awhile and see if you feel better. It can be rough, especially if you have a hidden yeast problem and hypoglycemia that has been feeding on sugar, like I did.
The nutrition aspect wasn't all it took though, I had self-esteem problems and let stress lead me away from eating right. I needed some help upstairs to figure out how I got this way. I attended a hypnotherapy weight loss class, and was so impressed by my experience that I went to another to learn self-hypnosis. I now meditate regularly and use hypnosis occasionally. It's been a tremendous help in just about every aspect of my life. I also used Dr Phil's books to help sort out my faulty thinking and reasoning process. And last, I use exercise as a regular practice, not just for health, but for fun.
Like I say, we are all different, so what works for me may not help you. However, one of my sons was diagnosed with ADD, and benefited very much when I took away all sugar. I think he was mis-diagnosed, ADD is such a catch-all these days. I realize its a legitimate syndrome, so if you truly have it, you may not have the results my son did.

Mantras like affirmations; however, they can be as simple as saying:  HMMMMMM over and over again.  Or a short poem -- it's about focusing on something over and over again.   

  

You don't need 5 or 10 moments -- it's NOT ABOUT THE MOMENTS actually -- it's just the foundation to the program.   Just say OKAY to the 4 and go to the next chapter -- if you can only come up with 2, then do the exercises to just those 2.  You are just learning what moments, people, & choices are about.  The whole answer lies in the reading the book completely and then going back over the book as you began to face your life events or like me, a goal (Sewing). 

  

The pain is addictive and that's one of the reasons we don't want to give it up.   Yet, when you begin the process of listening to what you are saying and then naming what it is (type of internal talk), you begin to see how the process comes together.