Topic : Defining Your Authentic Self

 My diet consists mainly of meat, poultry, fish, vegetables and fruit. I eat breads and pasta occasionally as it's not good to deny yourself all of the time. I DO restrict sugar severely. I have sugary foods only once in a great while, like at my granddaughters' birthdays or some other celebration. (And I don't classify dining out as a "celebration.")
I used to be a semi vegetarian. I say "semi" because I didn't educate myself on nutrition and so was not getting enough protein. I was eating this way because I was trying to cut as much fat as possible from my diet  I was hungry all the time and resorted to eating too much sugar, which led to obesity and health problems and I'm sure I would have been a diabetic by now.
I'M NOT SAYING VEGETARIANISM IS BAD! I'm only saying that I didn't do it right.
 You MUST get protein, humans cannot be healthy without it. Look up how many diseases are caused by protein deficiency (most of  the ones listed as B vitamin deficiencies) and compare them with the number of diseases caused by carbohydrate deficiency and you will get the picture.
I eat at least 3 oz of meat per meal and lots of vegetables, (even for breakfast) fresh preferably but cooked, canned, frozen is good. I limit fruits to 3 servings per day, fresh and whole only. (Fruits are high in natural sugars and you can overdo it quickly.) I eat all kinds of meat, poultry, and fish but try to stay with lean varieties for the most part.
When I have bread or pasta I eat whole grain, unbleached varieties, same goes for cereals. I eat cheese and milk, but I have limits on this. For the occasional sweetener I use Splenda.
I drink coffee and tea, but caffeine may be the next item I work on restricting.
Every 3rd day or so I have a spoonful of cod-liver oil and I eat olive oil and flax-seed oil for the omega 3 fatty acids that are so important.
I'm currently overweight because I stopped being vigilant and active and succumbed to stress before and during the move.
When I'm dieting to lose weight I stick to the severe restrictions on carbs, when I'm where I want to be, I can relax it a little, but I remain vigilant. (It's easier to lose 3-5lbs than 30lbs.)
I'm really no good to ask about dieting on a vegetarian diet, I would find a good book or a nutritionist for that.

 Is it possible to talk to your mother? To ask her WHY she doesn't want you to go to the meetings? WHY she doesn't want you to get better so that maybe you can help out more around the house and with your girls?
Do not let your mother's dysfunction become your own. As adults we all have choices in the way we present ourselves in the world and how we treat others.  Most of the time the best way to get our ideas across to others is not to tell them, but to be an example. If you keep trying to better yourself, your mother should get used to it and maybe even try to better herself. Your daughters will begin to look up to you and respect you.  Change is usually difficult in the beginning.
Do you really think she would kick you out, or do you think this is just a threat to see if she can control you?

Okay ... my latest mental conflict!!    It's been bugging me for a couple of weeks now ... it started when I walk the dogs and then come home and work in the yard .. BUT WHAT IF I don't work in the yard when I come after walking the dogs ...  what if I had to take a shower in the early morning and then go out, then come home and work in the yard .. but I CAN'T!!   That means 2 showers!!   maybe even 3!!!

 

Well, this morning, I finally asked myself:  WHY CAN'T I TAKE MORE THAN 1 SHOWER A DAY?  and I heard my mom's voice telling me that we can't afford the water bill!!

 

No kidding ...   so now, I'm going to take a shower this evening!  after I work in the yard.  I can't believe myself ... the big stuff is over and done with .. now it's the little things that are driving me nuts!  At least, I'm able to figure it out quicker now ...  because I can hear the conflict and see it in action!!

 it's hard to know  who you are when your family don't want you to be happy.i have been put down all my life.  and still people still put guilt trips on me .my sister next to me always finds a way to put a guilt trip on me.i want to move back to Tennessee and my sister don't want me to every since then one guilt trip after another.see said that my brother in law going have to take me to the bus station because she don't want to cry.maybe she don't but at lest she can say bye to us.it  feels like no one care about me sometimes  i feel like doing something stupid but my son keeps me from that. i wonder how my family would feel if i was gone from this earth  may one day but no time soon i hope i have to watch my son grow up even if my family don't like it . my sister is a user and a taker.

No it's really difficult to talk to her, I have asked her why I couldnt go to meetings and her answer was that she thinks that ill meet the old people i used to use with and that ill go back to that, what she doesnt understand is that that place is a helping place to continue sobriety.  my mom is well educated so that's what i dont understand.  im doing my best in pleasing her but nothing seems to be good for her. 

Oh god you so much sound like me. I also do things and then realise that, thats not me........ But guess its life and it just makes you live its way. I so wish sometimes that I can go back in time and undo some things but guess that wil not happen.........LOL, I wish it did. Well I think you are right, we must just face life as it comes. Thanks for your studies, I am gonna get back to my studies......... Cheers and take care............

I think you are right, everyone is facing some or the other problems in life. But ya it did feel so bad initially but now it's all good. Cheers for your reply and take care.........

Rub a dub dub...

The butcher, the baker, and the candle stick maker...

you must read between the lines???

Humidity is difficult I think, but it seems to be more temperate and so people don't hide away indoors instead of doing things.  And are friendlier, I just want too much, sometimes, I think I'm doing people favours not depending too much on things, but my own perspective has changed so stressfully.  They say, when one gets over their past lets go, things are not as real, because a new reality has to be accepted.  That's how things are, like moving.

 

I used to be able to move as I wanted to but not really changed.  Now I stay still, and always working on my own mind etc.  So I'm prepared for changes and can better deal with them and have the knowledge, I know this is what I'm supposed to do but in no way achieves anything in the big, bad world.

 

I suppose you know all this, but it helps to keep at something, once one has begun.

 

All for now.

 

Belinda

probably tomorrow,

 

Sayoonara