Topic : Defining Your Authentic Self

 
Hi Marcia,

Good opinion. I think that teaching Self Matters in school would be an exelent idea, and teaching Life Strategies too... think about it, what kind of kids would you have then??

Best,
Sanna-Terocia.

Hi, I have been in college upgrading my education since 9/11 hit.  That means I have been in college since January 2002. I graduated with my undergrad in 2004 and was married in 2004.  It is now almost 2005, going on 2006, and I am currently in grad school working on my master's degree. My husband works and I have student loan money, so I don't work. I just focus on my studies and assignments which is, believe me, a full-time job in itself! My dream is to go on and receive a Ph.D. and be teaching, postsecondary education by the time I'm 42-43 years old.  My question is, do you think starting a teaching career at a university at 42-43 years of age is too old? I mean technically, I could teach 25 more years and I would only be 67-68 years old. I'm not sure how long I would have to teach in order to retire?  Does anyone know that information? When can you retire?  Does it depend on the profession or the company or organization in which you work? 

Thanks so much for you input!! I just want to make sure all this hard work and the goal to receive my Ph.D. is not a waste of time?!! 

Hello, 

  

I am 35 and finishing up my pre-law and then on to law school.  I am switching careers drastically in my thirties.  Actually, I am following my dream finally.  I believe I am at the perfect age to do this...right now.  When we want to make changes, making them right now is the best time...if we have the right controls. I don't know about retirement, yet I do know that I have never regretted education yet, and I have known some people who got degrees well into their 50's and 60's.   

Teri 

Everyone, 

  

After a couple of days to buffer the "rawness" of everything, I am now able to talk about Wednesday.   

  

On Tuesday night the vet came out to see our Taco goat.  She was able to look at one leg in the barn and felt that if we brought him in and cleaned him up he could heal.  So, the next day we took him in.  She got to see the extent of his wounds at her office and after a lot of cleaning and talking, the decision to let him go was made.   

  

For some the idea of this much grief over a goat dying may seem silly.  I understand that.  For me, saying goodbye to a brave soul, a friend, was very hard.  We did, however, find out who owned the dogs.  The vet actually knew.  The lady that owned them happened to come in as we were putting him down.  The vet made her stay and watch as we carried him out to take him home to bury him.  Note:  Taco weighed about 200 pounds.  I don't think she had any idea of the impact until she saw me crying and carrying him out.  I couldn't look at her, but Erv did.  It was a pretty powerful moment.   

  

One thing that touched me so deeply was as the vet was giving the final shot, she whispered in his ear "No more scary nights."  This comforted me more than anything.   

  

I want to thank everyone for their support during this time.  We still have one goat surviving and he is looking like he will do well physically, so we are now on the healing end of things.  Thanks everyone.  Hugs to all, 

Teri 

Think about this....  As the kids begin to udnerstand where their parents & adults in their lives are coming from they then are becoming the adults while the parents & others remain children. 

  

Hmmmm  now that would be funny wouldn't it. 

Ask your parents if they got AARP's Nov/Dec 05 issue and turn to page 88.  Ms. Verna J. Willis who went after her Ph.D. when she was in her 40's.  In her late 50's she was frustrated and wrote a set of goals.  1 being obtaining tenure at a university.  At the age of nearly 62 she got.  She retired when she was 77.   

  

Get this article and cut it out or photocopy it and hang it up so you can see it daily.  She can be your CHEERLEADER!  YOu are not the only one - just one of 1000's who decided they wanted to go after their heart's desire. 

As the companion to 3 dogs and 5 cats == all of whom, I call the beloveds --- 

  

MY HEART GOES OUT TO YOU. 

  

I know how heartbroken I am when it's time to let go of one of my beloveds.   

  

I'm glad you found out whose dogs they were and that she was there to see how emotionally you were in the lost of one of your beloveds.   And that your vet stepped up and made her watch was ever so cool. 

Today, I wrote and sent out my weekly status report to my support group.  I have begun indexing what's going on in my days now using my food log which I updated to include the 12 symptoms of FEAR, my DID LIST, and a calendar for what I did all day long.  The objective of my  EXPERIMENT  

 is to get enough data to analyze this never-ending loop I'm in.  I've been writing about it since last April-May and with my newly gained knowledge of FEAR and it's symptoms, I know that I can break out of it. 

  

I'm also preparing to do MER on my REJECTION issues from VnG.  I've decided that if the EMOTIONAL TAPE has similarities to a THOUGHT TAPE, than I should be able to use the SELF MATTERS tools.  I used the food log to help me cause as an emotional eater, when I stopped writing in my food log, it meant I had hit  a TRIGGER.  By writing down what I could about what I was experiencing and the events that took place, I could pick up my food log when I finally reached the WOW I'M OUT OF CONTROL thought and started to pick myself up again.  It helped me to tackle the TRIGGER. 

  

It's been a fabulous tool for me in the past and so far in 2 days, I've indexed my journal for 1 month so that I can compare this month to last month's AND I've already written out 1 CONFLICTING TAPE that's going on within me that I will have to deal with.  Anytime I have a conflict, I become paralyze and that's what this month's EXPERIMENT is all about.    

  

I sure am glad that I worked in a research environment and actually kept a RESEARCH / EXPERIMENT logs.   Cause when I read page 292, 3rd paragraph: 

  

Getting support and empathy from the people in your life is tough, because to them your situation looks so unstable.  You are questioning every value and belief you have had about yourself, you are questioning your relationships, and it may not appear to them that you have clear ideas yet.  YOU ARE EXPERIMENTING WITH NEW CONCEPTS AND THESE NEW IDEAS MAY APPEAR RIDICULOUS TO SOMEONE ELSE.  TO COMPLICATE THINGS, THE PROCESS IS OFTEN ONE OF REFINING: 

1. I am testing and fine tuning my changes
2. until they reach a much deeper more level of conviction.
3. They become more meaningful and long lasting than changes you adopt overnight.
4. Seeing these "TWEAKS", your moderations and changes to your first experimenting, the naysayers may leap to the conclusion that you have failed; they might say, I told you so!

 Those words CHANGED MY LIFE!   Cause even I kept saying TOLD YOU SO!  YOU AREN'T DOING ANYTHING BUT GOING AROUND IN CIRCLES!!  Then these words showed me that I was just experimenting with how I do things.  That in all experiments, 1 out of 10 attempts works -- and for that matter, it took 2000 attempts to make 1 light bulb.  And just because it didn't work, didn't mean I was a failure.  It just meant, I needed to go back and see what stopped me.  In nearly all cases, it was the lack of knowledge or experience.  And those 2 can be easily over come with learning and practicing.   

  

I like where I am now.  I love knowing that right now, I lack "emotional" knowledge and that I can learn it.   Lucky for me, I discovered 1 author that has written about emotions like anger, hurt, resentment and the like.   I can deal with this.  Right now, it's REJECTION that stops me cold.  Next month, it will be something else -- or will it?  I'm putting together a plan now that I want to use to help me thru these periods in my life that involve using MER. 

  

I can't wait to see where I am in 1 month's time.  I know that I've gotten pretty good tools in my arsenal and I know that 1-3 of them will work.  And if by chance, I'm back here again, at least I'll be at a different level/place. 

Concerning Tin Man Moves: I have made a website which gives people the opportunity to share their emotions and concepts of self in a constructive forum. It is completely anonymous, and I have witnessed some wonderful moments through this site. Thank you for taking the time to check it out. From mwillis, Tin Man Moves Representative

As usual when I post what's going on within, I get a clearer picture cause I'm writing my thoughts out loud.  What starts out as a WEEKLY REPORT to my support group allowed me to see where I've been when I report out my accomplishments and acknowledgements.  It was also extremely helpful that I've learned to post my SELF MATTERS stuff on Dr. Phil's website.   As you read in the previous post, I am reviewing everything I'm doing because it's a loop/pattern that I have been wanting to break and because I'm not sure when it happens/starts, I'm evaluating everything that I usually do (my indexing of Sept. is really helping me here).   ANY HOOT....  As long as I continue to do goal work; I will continue to face my fears and tackle the road blocks.  That means, I am going to need to turn to books, teachers, and journaling to help me meet my goals.

  

  

 

It’s that simple. It’s a loop/pattern that is going to be around the rest of my life.  Acknowledge this and let it go. 

  

 

  

 

Eventually, I will have many plans in place and have worked through my TRIGGERS and I won’t need to focus so hard or for so long.   

  

I am now going to be kinder to myself.  Cause I'm not giving up my goal work and it's always going to cause me to STOP and review where I left off and where I have to go next.   I will always be experimenting to find out what works for me and what doesn't work. 

  

TRIGGERS are Key 4, Step 2 work(Weight Loss Solutions).  This is a BIG WOW moment for me.  I've been beating myself up because of this and now, I'm writing a note for my bathroom wall so I can remember that I've had this conversation for the last couple of months and just forget about it as I go throughout my life.    

  

THANKS again for allowing me the opportunity to write & talk about what's going on in my life.  You all have been really there for me.