Message Boards

Topic : 07/04 Body Dysmorphia

Number of Replies: 289
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Friday, October 26, 2007, 02:52:19 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1

(Original Air Date: 10/30/07) When most women gaze in the mirror, they may bemoan a blemish here or a wrinkle there. Imagine staring at your reflection for over two hours and hating your face so much that you never leave the house. Dr. Phil’s guests say they are prisoners to body dysmorphic disorder (BDD), a preoccupation with a real or imagined physical defect. Diana, 28, has been suffering with BDD for over 13 years. She’s undergone over 50 permanent make-up procedures –- eye liner, lips and eyebrows –- and didn’t leave her home for two years because she thinks she looks like a monster. Her mother, Guadalupe, and her sister, Liz, say it’s painful to watch Diana deteriorate before their eyes. Find out the shocking event Diana believes caused her condition. Then, 17 year-old Cheyenne used to win beauty pageants, but now believes that she’s an ugly, overweight girl with thunder thighs. She takes several hours to get ready for school in the morning, and constantly picks at her arm hair and lips. Her mom, Bobette, wonders if she’s the cause of her daughter’s bad feelings. Does Cheyenne really have BDD, or is something else affecting her? Share your thoughts here.


Find out what happened on the show.


As of January, 2009, this message board will become "Read Only" and will be closed to further posting. Please join the NEW Dr. Phil Community to continue your discussions, personalize your message board experience, start a blog and meet new friends.

July 17, 2008, 2:11 pm CDT

07/04 Body Dysmorphia

Quote From: jewelsf

I went back and re-read what I have posted. I do NOT see where I have supposedly attacked this poor girl. I have stated my thoughts quite clearly, I have admitted that I believe that she is disabled, and when I brought up the part about there being something missing from her story as to why she is not allowed to see her child, I wasn't attacking her. I was curious as to why her mother is forcing her to work under those circumstances. I do not understand where you are getting your wild ideas of me!

And your 'Hypothesis' about how I would treat someone hurt on the street is utterly ridiculous. Not that it is ANY of your business but I happen to be the type of person who gives warm coats and blankets to homeless people, (without their asking) I will go and buy some food for a homeless person, and I am always the first person to run towards a car accident to make sure everyone is OK and to help them, (once I actually ran to a car that was on fire, ready to pull the people out, not caring about the danger to myself) just to name a few things that I do. But do you want to know what I get back? Nothing! Unless you want to count the anger and open hostility that I received when I returned to work after my first 2 back surgeries. Yes, that was real nice, my manager actually said to my face how much harder they all had to work because I 'picked' that time to go into the hospital, it was all my fault! Talk about no compassion! I had worked there for over 3 years and every single week without fail, I donated cash into the envelope that was passed around for another employee, always someone different, that had lost a grandparent, had a medical test run, or any other minor little thing in life. When it was my turn, did I receive flowers? NO! Did I even get a 'Get Well Card' NO! I didn't even get one visitor from work! They had bilked me for over a thousand dollars and when it was my turn I was just completely ignored and then chewed out when I returned. So am I really the bad guy here? Or do I maybe have a valid reason for some of my anger? I know what I believe and my opinion is the only one that counts to me right now.

Here we go all about you again. I think the nice women  that replied to this ad made alot of sence . yu dsay she had all these wild accusations, or something in that nature , she was trying to get u to understand that it is not about u all the time. Every time she quoted something abuot what i had mentioned you had to say howso much worse yours was or that u had it too.
 
July 17, 2008, 2:27 pm CDT

the answer to your question

Quote From: jewelsf

  In the first place I wasn't attacking her at all! You made the assumption that I was, when it was the government that I don't understand and am angry at. In the second place, my compassion goes to my husband before it goes out to anybody else. He truly deserves it! Much more than you will ever know! And yes, I am filled with anger, anger towards the surgeon who put me in this position. I have every right to be angry, she took away my life and basically the life of my husband. You say that everyone is in pain? I don't think so! I don't see everyone else forced to live like a mole, have absolutely no social life, never be able to travel, or even be able to sleep in their beds for over seven years. I bet you sleep in your bed every night. I haven't even slept for over one hour at a time in over 7 years. Yes, I admit it, it is finally getting to me.

  And BTW, going back to this particular woman. As I said before, I wasn't taking anything out on her or attacking her. It wasn't until you brought it to my attention that I went back and re-read her message. That is when I picked up on some of the inconsistencies in her story. And again I still didn't attack her. I just said that there was something not "right" in her story. Come on and get real here. Since when does someone who is on Disability have to hold down a job? That is the point to getting the benefits, because you are unable to hold down a job! So what is the deal with the mother not allowing her to see her child until she gets a job? I think this is a perfectly normal question to ask. If you would get off of your own high horse for just a minute you would realize that it does indeed not sound right.

  You say that I sound mean, really mean? I am not a mean person in any way, shape, or form. You misunderstood the original point that I was trying to make. It had NOTHING to do with this particular girl. But I do get angry when I happen to know someone as I mentioned before that is on disability and proceeds to have 3 children after-wards. This woman does anything she darn well wants to. She learned (from her mother) at a very early age exactly how to work the system. And this type of person sickens me! I have even changed my attitude towards giving to charity's such as Toys for Tot's because of this woman. I used to buy tons of gifts for needy children, making a point to buy for the older ones that nobody ever wants to buy for. Until I found out what "Mary" was doing. I will use a fake name for her. As I said, she is drawing disability because of her weight, she is also getting welfare checks for her 3 illegitimate children. She lives at home with her mother, drives a brand new car, and parties and dates all of the time. Her weight doesn't slow down her social life or her dating life. When I found out that "Mary was also receiving free toys from the charity's, all of them in town, on top of the boatloads that she and other family members were buying for her kids, it just turned me off. I can't handle people who abuse the system. I know people who work for the Sheriffs Dept. who have good incomes that receive free food from the food banks for the under privileged. This is disgusting!

   I never once included this girl that you are talking about in any of this, and I don't know why you keep insisting that I am. I don't understand the government! Can I make this any more clear? I have NOT attacked HER! What is the deal here anyway, are you her best friend or something?

  But in my defense, yes, I am angry at some very particular things, but no, I am not a miserable or mean person. Yes, I do have compassion for others and even empathy, although I don't think that you will believe anything that I say. But my first loyalties lie with my husband, this is supposed to be the time for him to slow down and stop working. Instead, he has to keep working the same God awful hours that he has put in for over 40 years and it is extremely detrimental to his health. He also has to do the grocery shopping, the cooking, the bill paying, and the housecleaning. He works 7 days a week 6 months out of the year and 6 days a week the other 6. As I said before, he works between 110 and 140 hours per week. Don't you think that he needs a break? Do you know anyone who has that much responsibility? And as I also told you, he needs to have heart surgery and he he needs to stop working because he is diabetic and losing the feeling in his feet. But he can't! He has to continue working to pay for my own medical bills, which by the way, we happen to owe over $250,000. out of pocket costs after what the insurance has already paid. Plus all of my future costs, since I will have to have even more surgeries in the future.

   So may I please, with your permission of course, have compassion for my own husband first?

 

P.S. Re-read her story and see for yourself if something doesn't sound right about why she is not allowed to see her own child because her mother is forcing her to hold down a job. If she is disabled, then I would say that it is her own mother who lacks comapssion! 

I lost my son to the courts 3 in a half years ago, due to depression, and lack of parenting skills. 2 years ago on May 3/06 is when the last time i seen him because he was made a ward of the courts. My mom got him. After she has full cutody of him which   she will be in Dec/08 she can let me see him if she wants too. She chooses not too because she is scared that he may react in a negitive way.

 

  He was dignosed with Post tramatic stress disorder because after me not be able to see him May3/06 my mom gives him to foster care 2 weeks latter and changes her mind on adopting him. By this time she had him for a year. He went into 3 foster homes in a year in a half and the first foster home was just in it for the money and yelled and sweared at him alot. What a month that was for him. My mom took him back and has now adopted him . She is scred with all the behaviors he has now that it MAY get worse if she lets me see him.

 

Like i said i did have a perfect attendance at school, and also vouelnteered at the Alzheimers society for a little bit until school and thta was too much. I am limited to work but i still can owrk if someone would give me a chance. It takes most people 3-4 days to fit in and feel comfortable , well it takes me about 2-3 weeks.  

 
July 17, 2008, 3:59 pm CDT

That's what I thought!

Quote From: PennyLane78

Are you sure you responded to the correct person??? This post is right out of left field.

Hi Penny,

   Not once did I mean to attack this young woman! And the point of her not being able to see her child until she held a job? I think that it was a honest question. Not an attack! If you are disabled, then that means that you cannot work, so why would her mother force her to work before she could see her child? That is all I was asking. I did not try and sound cruel, I was not trying to be mean. As a matter of fact, I was talking about someone else altogether when I gave a few examples. I don't know what your opinion of me will be from this point, I think that you do know me better than that though, I hope so. I am not a mean person. It makes me crazy!

   I read the message from the girl who this started over and she explained as to why she wasn't allowed to see her child. I wanted to talk to her about it and give her some support. But because she and the other woman are sooooo touchy, I was told to not respond to her post. So I won't! Oh well, people that are that easy to set off, I don't need that in my life.

   BTW, Juliebgg is on vacation right now, she should be home sometime soon. She has been VERY busy and I haven't heard from her in awhile. I passed on your message to her though. When the dust settles from her very busy schedule, I'm sure that she will check in.

Take care and have a nice day,

Jewels

 
July 17, 2008, 4:03 pm CDT

07/04 Body Dysmorphia

Quote From: prettynpinkk

Here we go all about you again. I think the nice women that replied to this ad made alot of sence . yu dsay she had all these wild accusations, or something in that nature , she was trying to get u to understand that it is not about u all the time. Every time she quoted something abuot what i had mentioned you had to say howso much worse yours was or that u had it too. Crazy lady
You asked me to not reply to you, and I will respect that except for this one thing, do not call me names! I have repeatedly stated that I was not attacking you, I meant NO offense to you. So please, keep the name calling to yourself and I will not have the need to reply. Thank you.
 
July 17, 2008, 4:10 pm CDT

To Pennylane..................

Quote From: PennyLane78

Are you sure you responded to the correct person??? This post is right out of left field.
I've been wanting to tell you something for a long time, I love the pictures that are alongside your user name! I think that you told me once how to do it but since I am still somewhat of a computer virgin, I probably couldn't make it work. Heep them coming, I love them!
 
July 17, 2008, 4:52 pm CDT

One last thing.......................

Quote From: prettynpinkk

I do not  know much about this site yet, but i have read the replies to my message. I see a very nice person defended me after a person was being mean.

 

As for the nice lady i would really like to talk to you , it's really hard when you do not have any friends, keeping everything so bottled up.

 

As for the mean lady you are evry much into yourself, " at least she had a baby, i cannot, i have scars too, i have anixty too. These replies strted off with my problem, and u just kept on trying , and trying , and trying to make it all about u. i feel for u, but like theother person said, you are very cruel .

 

 

And since you want to go on and on and on, and on about this whole disability thing, did it ever occor to you that wher ei live maybe be higher in living than you. I live in Windsor Ont, aplace where everything is Crazy expensive compared to the U.S. I live 2 minutes from the U.S( detroit Mich), a pair of nike shoes here are $140, over in the U.S they are $70. A case of beer here is $40 over there in the U.S is $16. It depends where u live. You are actauuly pretty lucky where ever you are at because if you have a better half that works you do not get disability over here.

 

No disrespect but i do not need to hear any more of your complaints, plz do not message me.

I was not trying to out do you, I was trying to defend myself to the other "nice woman" as you put it. Apparently neither one of you have the ability to understand what I was trying to say or the fact that I was not attacking you. I do have the right to defend myself and I will when I feel the need to do so! Enough said!
 
July 17, 2008, 5:11 pm CDT

07/04 Body Dysmorphia

Quote From: jewelsf

I've been wanting to tell you something for a long time, I love the pictures that are alongside your user name! I think that you told me once how to do it but since I am still somewhat of a computer virgin, I probably couldn't make it work. Heep them coming, I love them!
It's really easy. Just click "profile" and there it shows you how to do it. It's pretty simple. And to find pictures, I just look around the internet. I use Google Image Search and I use Photobucket.com

It's not hard, I'd love to help!
 
July 17, 2008, 5:58 pm CDT

07/04 Body Dysmorphia

Quote From: jewelsf

I have worked almost all of my life, since I was 15 years old. I was permanently disabled 7 years ago due to a severe injury. I paid into my Social Security benefits. This woman has never held a job over 3 days and gets $1000.00 per month from disability? I only get $790.00! Am I the only one who thinks that there is a problem here? Maybe I should have never worked before. I feel like I'm being punished and that people who haven't worked are rewarded. This isn't the first time that I have seen this happen, I know a woman who also gets more than I do and she has never worked a day in her life. She is on disability because she is overweight. Although, throughout this entire time that she has received SSD benefits she has managed to have 3 children. Funny thing, after I became disabled the opportunity to have a child was taken away from me. I cannot carry a child to term and I wouldn't be able to take care of one if I did. And BTW, this woman who has posted here, if she is so ugly and has never had a boyfriend or anything, how did she have a child? Yes, this angers me because I have wanted a baby all of my life! I will never get that privilege!
I agree not much adds up in her post at all.
 
July 17, 2008, 6:50 pm CDT

I would need serious help................

Quote From: PennyLane78

It's really easy. Just click "profile" and there it shows you how to do it. It's pretty simple. And to find pictures, I just look around the internet. I use Google Image Search and I use Photobucket.com

It's not hard, I'd love to help!
Believe me, if I tried to follow your instructions, I would need serious help. maybe I'll take you up on that as soon as I get another problem on my computer figured out. It's acting a little funky right now! But I do enjoy seeing what you have up all of the time, and it is always changing. I admire people who know how to do so many more things on the computer. I'm trying to get there! I'm still trying to figure out how to download music onto my MP3 player and to burn CD's. You must be younger than me, the younger generations always know so much more about computers. As soon as I'm through here, I'll look up the sights that you suggested. I'll see where it goes from there. Thanks!
 
July 17, 2008, 7:06 pm CDT

Have you also noticed........................

Quote From: PennyLane78

I agree not much adds up in her post at all.
OK, let's see, someone has body dysmorphia and yet they put their picture next to their user name and call them self "Prettynpink". Hmmmm, sounds like she hates her looks to me! LOL!!! I figured that if someone hated what they looked like that they wouldn't want to show a picture of them self to thousands of people, it's just my take on this. Oh well, I will never be able to understand the human mind, especially the ones that are a few tools short of a toolbox. You should see what a woman wrote to me on the board for "Bully Husbands", she chewed me a knew "you know what" for absolutely no reason. It was WEIRD! I have no idea where she is coming from and I asked her exactly that! If someone is going to be that insulting for a reason that is unknown to me, I feel that I deserve an explanation at the very least. You should check it out, it was really an odd moment for me. Her name is "mommysangel". Sometimes when I'm on here I feel like I'm running with scissors! I never know when I'll fall and poke my eye out! Take care, Jewels
 
First | Prev | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 | Next | Last