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Topic : 07/04 Body Dysmorphia

Number of Replies: 289
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Created on : Friday, October 26, 2007, 02:52:19 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1

(Original Air Date: 10/30/07) When most women gaze in the mirror, they may bemoan a blemish here or a wrinkle there. Imagine staring at your reflection for over two hours and hating your face so much that you never leave the house. Dr. Phil’s guests say they are prisoners to body dysmorphic disorder (BDD), a preoccupation with a real or imagined physical defect. Diana, 28, has been suffering with BDD for over 13 years. She’s undergone over 50 permanent make-up procedures –- eye liner, lips and eyebrows –- and didn’t leave her home for two years because she thinks she looks like a monster. Her mother, Guadalupe, and her sister, Liz, say it’s painful to watch Diana deteriorate before their eyes. Find out the shocking event Diana believes caused her condition. Then, 17 year-old Cheyenne used to win beauty pageants, but now believes that she’s an ugly, overweight girl with thunder thighs. She takes several hours to get ready for school in the morning, and constantly picks at her arm hair and lips. Her mom, Bobette, wonders if she’s the cause of her daughter’s bad feelings. Does Cheyenne really have BDD, or is something else affecting her? Share your thoughts here.


Find out what happened on the show.


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October 30, 2007, 2:32 pm CDT

Typo in my first LONG post...and...

I meant to say that Prozac & other newer anti-depressants (SSRIs) were NOT available in the 1940s through the 1980s---they may have come out in the 80s; I can't remember, but my dad never had access to any of the newer anti-depressants. I SO much wish those had been available to him!

Btw, I also know a woman who was sexually abused as a child & later thought she looked like a "frog." She TRULY thought she was incredibly ugly.  I havent' been in touch with her for several years, but she confided in me when she was in her early 20s. And, like Dad, there was NO way I could convince her that she was definitely NOT ugly (she was a nice-looking girl, not a model type but still pretty). It's REALLY frustrating trying to convince someone who has BDD that they don't have any physical abnormalities and that they look FINE. I fully understand how frustrating and exasperating that can be.

It's sad to read how many people are SO judgmental; obviously, there is still a lot of ignorance that Body Dysmorphic Disorder even exists. (Sort of reminds me of my fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue syndrome, TMJ syndrome---all of which are VERY painful & prohibit me from working outside the home; I can only work VERY part-time from my home, & have been seeking disability for several years. And then there's my July 2007 diagnosis of anklylosing spondylitis---it's a progressive spinal disease that involves inflammation in my spine, especially my lower back & it makes my neck very stiff at times; getting that diagnosis finally put some puzzle pieces in place for me.)

 

WHY can't people be kinder? WHY are people SO judgmental & just plain hateful? Can't people be more caring & not jump to conclusions so quickly? Whatever happened to people caring for each other & being more sympathetic--and empathetic? It's really sad to read how mean--and ignorant--some of these posts are. PLEASE try to understand that this is a REAL problem for many people! And it's not just young women! Honestly! I'm glad it's finally being brought out into the light & that Dr. Phil had this show. Those of you who are SO judgmental don't realize that this could help thousands & thousands of people watching who may be coping with the same thing--as I saw that one person who posted is indeed dealing with this, but sounds like the person is getting better--thankfully! :) We ALL need to try to put ourselves in others' shoes instead of jumping to conclusions & just calling this vanity. I'm sorry so many people are so limited in their thinking. I live with mostly invisible physical illnesses---and there are people who also live with invisible mental illnesses; my dad was one of them.

Diana, my heart goes out to you & I'll be praying for you. I'm glad you at least know what is wrong; my dad never had that. Hopefully, now you'll get some great therapy & medication if needed (might be needed; don't refuse to take the medication if the docs Dr. Phil got for you recommend it; it could make a BIG difference!). Anyway, you & your family are in my prayers. Liz needs to be less judgmental; I know it's frustrating for your family. I've been in a family like that, so I know. But give her time to understand now that this is a REAL illness, & that you can get help. I'm so glad there's help available.

I think you're a lovely young woman! I know that probably won't make any difference in how you see yourself, but please know that there ARE people out here who ARE supportive of you! Please just ignore the negative posts; people don't know what they're talking about. So hang in there & take care of yourself! I'm so glad Dr. Phil has gotten you some help. I wish that would've been available for my dad. Hang in there, Diana, & I hope to hear an update on you from Dr. Phil sometime. You're in my thoughts & prayers. {{{hug}}}

 

I can't remember the other girl's name (my memory isn't that great), but I think she probably does have less BDD & perhaps more self-esteem problems, although she MIGHT have the beginnings of BDD. But I'm not sure & I'm NOT going to judge her! I wish her all the best. Sorry I can't remember your name, young woman, but please don't be too hard on yourself. And, if Dr. Phil has offered you help or recommended you get some, please do so. You are a lovely young lady. Don't be too self-conscious. And don't let the negative people get you down. Try to see how beautiful you are inside & out! I'm not sure exactly where you are as far as BDD goes, but don't let your outside define who you are. There is SO much more to you than just what you look like; I know it's tough to be self-conscious. Besides, there's nothing wrong with you physically even though you probably won't believe me. Just take care of yourself & focus on being the wonderful person you are & can be. You'll also be in my thoughts & prayers, as well as your family.

 

I just wish there had been help available for my dad so his life could've maybe been a bit less traumatic for him. He was a great dad & I still love him very much! I know it's difficult to know & deal with someone who has mental illness, but let's all do the best we can & not throw out judgments and negative things without thinking. We need to be KINDER & more COMPASSIONATE! Please try, everyone! Thank you. Joy

 
October 30, 2007, 2:33 pm CDT

Sorry but no sympathy from me.

Call me a jerk or an eveil person but much like that first womans sister, I have less then no sympathy for these people. I mean these girls are spending their parents hard earned money, making them feel guilty to spend the money on them.

 

I dont care if some doctor who had too much time on his nands did come up with a so called name for this apparent 'disorder'.

 

Someone who is infront of the mirror for hours a day, spending all their money and their parents money on procedures, manipulating people around them, and are only focused on their looks and not the rest of their body, is just a shallow person with no self esteem,

 

Show them some people with REAL PROBLEMS problem solved and they can even stop the anti-depressants.

 

Also....Is it just me or are all the people on todays show woman? Is there is a male with this 'disorder'.

 

 
October 30, 2007, 2:40 pm CDT

10/30 Body Dysmorphia

 

 

    Could it be that these dysmorphic people are very judgmental of others, therefore they think that 

 

    people judge them the same  cruel way, that they do. 

 
October 30, 2007, 2:42 pm CDT

10/30 Body Dysmorphia

Quote From: herald7

I imagine teasing can play a huge part in this disorder. Parents and schools need to focus more on preventing bullying and teasing. Because it can start as early as Kindergarden. Children are not born evil. But neither are they born completely good. They need to be taught empathy and compassion.
I agree with you here and sadly from the harsh critisims on this message board I would say there really is a need for empathy and compassion to be something that should be a focus for parents and teachers too.  The idea that empathy & compassion needs to be taught in school isn't something I always thought I agreed with because I think it's something that should be taught at home, but when I see so many ADULTS with out any companssion for people who are in real emotional pain I think these are people who are going to teach compassion to their kids?!  I think people who are cold tend to produce more like themselves. 
 
October 30, 2007, 2:46 pm CDT

what r they thinging

Quote From: shmigelz

Call me a jerk or an eveil person but much like that first womans sister, I have less then no sympathy for these people. I mean these girls are spending their parents hard earned money, making them feel guilty to spend the money on them.

 

I dont care if some doctor who had too much time on his nands did come up with a so called name for this apparent 'disorder'.

 

Someone who is infront of the mirror for hours a day, spending all their money and their parents money on procedures, manipulating people around them, and are only focused on their looks and not the rest of their body, is just a shallow person with no self esteem,

 

Show them some people with REAL PROBLEMS problem solved and they can even stop the anti-depressants.

 

Also....Is it just me or are all the people on todays show woman? Is there is a male with this 'disorder'.

 

these women are very beautiful why do they feel sorry for themslves for looking ugly. the only thing that makes them ugly is their heart
 
October 30, 2007, 2:49 pm CDT

Give Me A Break

 Dr. Phil, Give me a break. These two girls are nuts. There are enough diseases in this country without having beautiful people acting like fools. There isn't any one of us who like what we see when we look in the mirror, but I certainly wouldn't say that each and every one of us is sick. Get over yourselves girls.
 
October 30, 2007, 2:49 pm CDT

Today's Show

For years I have struggled with overcoming childhood sexual abuse at the age of 7 years old.  I will be 60 in 2008 and still deal with the aftereffects of the sexual abuse.  My heart just broke for Diana. 

In my case the adults were so ignorant their only concern was that no one ever know what happened to me.  My feelings did not matter, my mother constantly reminded me I was "runined" and that "no one would ever want me" and the adults whispered and smirked every time I came into the room. 

After a hysterectomy at 33 years of age I was "forced" to seek help.  It took approximately 5 years of counseling before I remembered what had happened to me as a child.  I struggled with nightmares for years waking up in a cold sweat.  Worse yet, I remembered NO ONE was there to comfort me as a child.  I was treated like an outcast and worse yet told that I was some how to blame. 

I quit counting the years of tears but have moved on in various avenues to heal and let go of the ugliness left inside of me.  I refuse to let the perpetrator or the irresponsible adults in my life "win".  I've turned them over to God, who does a much better job of taking care of things than I ever could, and moved on.  It's has not been easy but I am worth it.  The nightmares ceased soon after remembering the sexual abuse and have never returned.  I finally quit buying so much make up always hoping the new makeup would make me look "pretty".  And Yes, Dr. Phil, I had my eye make up tattooed.  Now I have a name for my 27 years struggle thanks to your show.  God bless you Dr. Phil and may God continue to bless you as you continue to help others so unselfishly. 

Sincerely with love and blessings for you, Robin and your sons, N.I. Daisy Phipps, Porterville, CA 

 
October 30, 2007, 2:49 pm CDT

Well, I sooooo agree with.............

Quote From: shmigelz

Call me a jerk or an eveil person but much like that first womans sister, I have less then no sympathy for these people. I mean these girls are spending their parents hard earned money, making them feel guilty to spend the money on them.

 

I dont care if some doctor who had too much time on his nands did come up with a so called name for this apparent 'disorder'.

 

Someone who is infront of the mirror for hours a day, spending all their money and their parents money on procedures, manipulating people around them, and are only focused on their looks and not the rest of their body, is just a shallow person with no self esteem,

 

Show them some people with REAL PROBLEMS problem solved and they can even stop the anti-depressants.

 

Also....Is it just me or are all the people on todays show woman? Is there is a male with this 'disorder'.

 

I have absolutely NO sympathy for that Cheyenne character.  She just wants to appear on TV....lol   When has a white blondie ever had problems with their appearance?  Especially since sociality has justified or defined that as beauty which it's not.  So get over yourself and stop feeling sorry for yourself, Cheyenne, because there are must LARGER problems in this world missy pageant girl.  You are "PATHETIC"!!! and you make me SICK!!!
 
October 30, 2007, 2:50 pm CDT

IT'S REAL! And, yes, you're cruel!

Quote From: shmigelz

Call me a jerk or an eveil person but much like that first womans sister, I have less then no sympathy for these people. I mean these girls are spending their parents hard earned money, making them feel guilty to spend the money on them.

 

I dont care if some doctor who had too much time on his nands did come up with a so called name for this apparent 'disorder'.

 

Someone who is infront of the mirror for hours a day, spending all their money and their parents money on procedures, manipulating people around them, and are only focused on their looks and not the rest of their body, is just a shallow person with no self esteem,

 

Show them some people with REAL PROBLEMS problem solved and they can even stop the anti-depressants.

 

Also....Is it just me or are all the people on todays show woman? Is there is a male with this 'disorder'.

 

I'm so sorry for your limited view. As i said in other posts, my DAD had this before it had a NAME! He died without ever knowing WHY he felt the way he did!

My dad did NOT spend hours in front of the mirror at all! In fact, I don't think he even liked to look in the mirror at ALL!

It's  NOT just a woman's problem, either. I saw a special on this on a news report show, something like 20/20 or Dateline...and there was a GUY who thought his stomach looked fat even though he had great abs! He looked better than okay. He looked really nice; he had good abs. But he simply COULD NOT SEE THAT WHEN HE LOOKED IN THE MIRROR (which he also avoided, but they had him do it for that show).

This is NOT something some guy just thought up! How can you be so hateful? I just pray that you never get an "invisible" illness---because there are MANY of them! Both mental AND physical! So, yes, I know of AT LEAST TWO males who've had this problem, and I'm SURE there are more men who have this; they just aren't as easy to get to go to a doctor as much as most women are willing to.

Shame on you! I lived with my dad having this ALL my life! Until he died in 1990. Maybe you need to do some research and find that Body Dysmorphic Disorder is a VERY REAL mental illness! It's a chemical imbalance!

 

You can't SEE many physical illnesses by looking at someone, but that does't mean they're NOT real! I hope you somehow learn to be a more caring & kinder person. When did so many people get so mean & hateful & uncaring to others??? Or perhaps your mental illness is "lack of empathy." I feel sorry for you. You are a very limited person. I'm being matter-of-fact; I don't want to sound mean, although I'm using stronger language than I usually do. It's just SO FRUSTRATING for people to be so uncaring.

Shallow? Hmm. Maybe you should take a good, long look at yourself. I KNOW the agony my dad went through! He wasn't maniupulative; he wasn't looking all the time in the mirror; he didn't spend any money for plastic surgery, but we could NEVER convince him that his eyes were NOT bulging. We couldn't convince him that he looked FINE. He was a kind, gentle, sweet man. I pray you can be the same---kind, gentle, & much more sweet & less shallow than your post indicates. *shaking my head* I just don't understand people like you. I really don't. I have to get offline now & TRY to get some proofreading done, even though I'm not feeling physically up to it. I have a deadline to meet despite my "invisible" pain & profound & difficult fatigue. I pray you learn to be kinder & less judgmental.

 

YES, THERE ARE MEN WHO HAVE HAD & HAVE BODY DYSMORPHIC DISORDER! Have a good week. People like you are the ones who make me feel like giving up on other people--on them ever understanding what my dad went through mentally & what I'm going through physically. I wish you could know how hard it is to find people like you. :(

 
October 30, 2007, 2:53 pm CDT

10/30 Body Dysmorphia

Thank you JoyJoyBink, for your thoughtful and honest post.

 

I am recovering and thanking God every day for being here, which is a far way from where I was before. I can not post anymore, about people's ignorance. I will just hope that people will  recognize that this is a disorder. Perhaps Dr. Phil could have used a true clear cut BDD case (although Diana IMO is, and i think you are right in that perhaps Cheyanne is at the beginning stages..)

 

I am sorry for your pain, and for your loss. My heart goes out ot you.

 
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