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Topic : 07/04 Body Dysmorphia

Number of Replies: 289
New Messages This Week: 0
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Created on : Friday, October 26, 2007, 02:52:19 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1

(Original Air Date: 10/30/07) When most women gaze in the mirror, they may bemoan a blemish here or a wrinkle there. Imagine staring at your reflection for over two hours and hating your face so much that you never leave the house. Dr. Phil’s guests say they are prisoners to body dysmorphic disorder (BDD), a preoccupation with a real or imagined physical defect. Diana, 28, has been suffering with BDD for over 13 years. She’s undergone over 50 permanent make-up procedures –- eye liner, lips and eyebrows –- and didn’t leave her home for two years because she thinks she looks like a monster. Her mother, Guadalupe, and her sister, Liz, say it’s painful to watch Diana deteriorate before their eyes. Find out the shocking event Diana believes caused her condition. Then, 17 year-old Cheyenne used to win beauty pageants, but now believes that she’s an ugly, overweight girl with thunder thighs. She takes several hours to get ready for school in the morning, and constantly picks at her arm hair and lips. Her mom, Bobette, wonders if she’s the cause of her daughter’s bad feelings. Does Cheyenne really have BDD, or is something else affecting her? Share your thoughts here.


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October 30, 2007, 2:59 pm CDT

Cheyenne I do see what she means about cheeks

Ok I do understand what Cheyenne says about her cheeks, yea so what you have big cheeks. :Live with it, no one is perfect and the all the people who want to be are all alone, single, pennyless and still not happy.

 

So what you have chubby cheeks, big deal. So does my oldest brothers girffriend. Shes got no job, no money, no education, not even a car that works and by brother is worth millions but he's still gonna marry her, even with her chubby cheeks. (Prenup being signed of course). But see even people with bigger cheeks get married, even to guys with alot of money.

 

Some things are just genetics and we live with them. Some people lose their legs fighting for your freedom that you enjoy today, and Im sure they are still happy.

 

Chubby cheeks are fun to poke and pull on anyways! Just ask your grandma!

 

 
October 30, 2007, 2:59 pm CDT

10/30 Body Dysmorphia

Quote From: kc7oul

 Dr. Phil, Give me a break. These two girls are nuts. There are enough diseases in this country without having beautiful people acting like fools. There isn't any one of us who like what we see when we look in the mirror, but I certainly wouldn't say that each and every one of us is sick. Get over yourselves girls.

You seem quiet ignorant to me...This is not a normal case of  "Shallow girls", but it's an actual disorder...I would advise you to go research this topic, furthermore to earn the right to even judge these girls. You have NO idea what so ever about who they are and what they went through or how they see themselves. Have you been sexually abused? Go through that, and then return and be a regular happy-go-lucky human being!

 

 
October 30, 2007, 3:01 pm CDT

you should really be proud of yourself

Quote From: hereisit

I'm 5ft7, 104 lbs, and a recovering anorexic.  I say recovering because I'll never be well, much like an alcoholic can only choose not to drink that day.  I got up to (what I felt was an obese) 130lbs last winter, and  started  dropping weight again this spring.  By July, I was down to 97lbs.  I started to think again "How much more can I lose".  I'm lucky.  I had 4 years of good therapy (CBT) that allowed me to recognise a relapse when it attacked me.  I still feel fat, ugly, and don't go out much, preferring the nonjudgemental company of my rescued dogs and cats.  I just accept that I'll never feel entirely comfortable around people.  I accept that I will always feel that they are talking about what I'm wearing, my weight,  how ugly I am.  I know intellectually that it's not true, but emotionally, just spending a few hours out in town leaves me anxious, feeling fat, and hideous. 
I'd rather stay home, with my dogs, who love me unconditionally. 
I don't feel handicapped by my BDD.  I have found the things in my life that matter, a few good and supportive friends, an a boyfriend who tries to understand, even when I know he wishes he could just wave a magic wand and fix me. 
Life with BDD isn't all bad.  Because mirrors trigger my disorder, I don't have them in my home.  I don't go to dressing rooms (they can make me cut myself with their 360 degree mirors) so I order my clothes online.  If I go out with friends, I go to two or three places I feel safe in, usually late at night when there are fewer people to judge me. 
I don't mind my life, it's so much better than it was before therapy.  Before therapy, just leaving my home, or eating out was a trigger.  Now I can go out, eat, and have fun, as long as it's in one of the places I feel safe in.  I've also discovered I can go new places and meet new people if I have one of my dogs with me.  I'm more focuesd on keeping my dog feeling secure (a lot of mine have survived abuse/neglect) than on my own discomfort.  Since I have to present a calm alpha to keep my dog calm, it has the de facto effect of forcing me to be calm, rather than hyperanalysing myself. 
Because a lot of my neglected dogs came in grossly underweight and needed nutritional supplementation, I've become more aware of the harm letting myself get too underweight can cause. 
Seriously, once I had derived as much as I could from CBT, and transferred my focus to caring for my dogs I got a good portion of my health back.  I may have saved them from death at the pound, but they saved me from death by starvation.  I have to have energy to walk them.   I can't over excercise myself, because I don't want to strain their hips and elbows, so the excessive running I used to do is out. 
I'm healthier, less selfish, and am maintaining my weight at a healthier level since getting my dogs. 
I can't say enough about how much they've done to give me back a good quality of life. 
I haven't had a major depressive episode in nearly a year, because if I start to feel down, one of my dogs will come snuggle up to me and remind me that I haven't failed at Everything, I saved them after all. 
My dogs are my therapy, my constant companions, and my best friends, they don't care if I'm fat, thin, ugly, pretty, wearing make up or not, if my hair is a disaster or if my clothes are two years out of date, they just care that I love them, protect them, feed them, and take them to the Vet to keep them healthy. 
I think they are the only reason I haven't slid back into anorexia, when I got down to 97 lbs, it was hard for me to have enough energy to play the hours of fetch they love, so I saw that I was not healthy at that weight, and was able to start eating more healthfully again, so they didn't have to lose another home.  (If I went into the hospital, my fur babies would need to go to foster care).  They have saved me as much as, if not more than, I have saved them.

LOL does your therapist know how great your "therapy dogs" really are?   j/king seriously I'm always amazed at what a animal gives to it's owner & so often we don't even realize it until later when it's hind sight.  I've had dogs all my life and there was never a time that 1 of them wasn't an emotional support to me.  they're great listener, not judgemental & sincere in their affection & love for us. 

 

That said you should really be proud of yourself for your strides with your illness for all of the negative brough on with that kind of illness it seems you've been able to see the possitive of your recovering.  I really just wanted to give you a thumbs up & tell you "you go girl". 

 
October 30, 2007, 3:04 pm CDT

Beauty Pageants gone bad.....again.....

Once again, a beauty pageant  'graduate' (Cheyenne - the blonde) proving to the world that pageants screw women up!  And sniffling mother engulfed in the same narcissistic blame.  That relationship screamed of confusion.  A couple of questions to any parent who shoves their child into a pageant:  1) what are you thinking, 2) what are you thinking and 3) we know what you're thinking, so why did you do it?!  Living your life vicariously through your innocent child is a recipe for disaster.  And a good way to 'shock' Cheyenne out of her self-scrutiny 'disorder' would be to put her in a 4 x 4' box with flat screens on each wall for 24 hours straight -- each running REAL world problems of terrorism, insurrection,  human suffering, persecution, disease, tiny children starving.  Get a life, Barbie-doll!  It didn't come out on the show but I suspect that Mom and daughter are NOT involved in any type of service through their community other than to themselves. 
 
October 30, 2007, 3:07 pm CDT

You hang in there; you're in my prayers!

Quote From: betterfly

Thank you JoyJoyBink, for your thoughtful and honest post.

 

I am recovering and thanking God every day for being here, which is a far way from where I was before. I can not post anymore, about people's ignorance. I will just hope that people will  recognize that this is a disorder. Perhaps Dr. Phil could have used a true clear cut BDD case (although Diana IMO is, and i think you are right in that perhaps Cheyanne is at the beginning stages..)

 

I am sorry for your pain, and for your loss. My heart goes out ot you.

Like you, I can't post about the immense negativity on this board any longer. Some people will just NEVER understand!

I haven't read your posts all the way through (since I have to get to work soon on the manuscript I have), but I will read all your posts later. I'm SO glad you're recovering! I'll keep you in my prayers. {{{hug}}} I wish Dr. Phil had used a man as well as a woman, but a guy with BDD isn't as likely to seek help. My dad would've LOVED to have had some help, but there wasn't any for it back then. He felt so GUILTY for being mentally ill, even though he and all of us knew he just couldn't help it. Just as I feel guilty for being physically ill. We have no children (which turned out to be a good thing), but we have our sweet Chihuahuas. :) Please take care of yourself & I might post more to you later. God bless! Thank you for your kind words!   Joy

 
October 30, 2007, 3:11 pm CDT

Body Dysmorphia

I don't think that this is a disease. I think that this is all up in the mind. But it didn't start in the mind, I think the media plays a major role on this. The reason I think that this is happening to mostly women than men is because the way media portrays women and the way they portray men. Just look at the pressures of society on women and how they are supposed to look by watching commercials on tv, and that's not including any movies or television shows, vs. the pressure for men and thier appearance.  Another thing that plays a big role is what people have been said on the board, the mocking of people from their peers. In my opinion, Body Dysmorphia couldn't exist without the help of the media and pressures/ mocking from other peers.

 
October 30, 2007, 3:20 pm CDT

OK GROUP HUG

Quote From: anntwerp2

I made it a point  to watch this show, as Dr. Phil had a similar show on a couple years (?) ago, and I ended up being just as furious about it as I am about this one!  It doesnt surprise me that once again, he has stunningly beautiful women who are simply VAIN about their looks.  I was planning to tape it, but why bother?

 

The first guest  looks at herself 2 hours at a time in the mirror.  How VAIN is that?

 

I dare Dr. Phil to have people on the show who are actually ugly.....like I am!  I'm 60 years old, and I am still affected by the teasing and bullying from my first day of school.  It was constantly driven home to me that I was ugly and I will tell you, they werent wrong!  Even my own mother agreed. I CAN'T BEAR to look at myself in the mirror, other than a quick glance to check my hair, or whatever.  When I brush my teeth, which ARE crooked.....I look at anything other than my mouth, or my face. I absolutely hate mirrors, and hate when I accidently catch an image of myself in a store or someones home.  Now, with aging, it is getting even worse.  My hair dresser has told me I have big ears, and I've had people laugh at my large pointy nose (so I inherited it from my dad...so what?)! 

 

No one notices my good points,.... my high ethical standards, my sense of humour , and my kindness to others, no matter who they are or what they look like.  I make sure I have a smile on my face whenever I  meet people, but when I'm alone....there is no JOY!  That is why my dogs and cats are so important to me.....they are non-judgemental and their love is unconditional!

 

How about if Dr. Phil.......your books have helped me with depression and self-image.  How about having a show for people who are honestly less than perfect in the looks department?  Todays show is like having a show on weight-loss issues, and having only svelte guests on complaining about their weight!

I guess bottom line is no matter what we have, don't have, need, want... is never enough.  Even when watching and observing "the perfect people."  Some of the comments I'm reading are "...they shouldn't be so vein."  Or, they need a hobby.  What they needed was Dr. Phil and the Doctors, helping them out of their destructive thoughts.

 

Dr. Phil, I enjoyed todays show.  Its not just ugly people, fat people, visually impaired people,etc., etc., its others that we "see" are perfect may have bad feelings about themselves.

 

We all have unfair (and sometimes lethal) feelings about ourselves.  It scares me (kinda).  What if I lost the weight?  What if I got lasik surgery?  Would that make me happy?  Would I be perfect?  I say no.  I did lose the weight and was miserable cause I didn't take care of the clouds in my head. 

 

We all need to decide when we look in the mirror, we not just see a beautiful shell, we are all beautiful on the inside too.

 

 
October 30, 2007, 3:20 pm CDT

10/30 Body Dysmorphia

Quote From: butterfly88

I don't think that this is a disease. I think that this is all up in the mind. But it didn't start in the mind, I think the media plays a major role on this. The reason I think that this is happening to mostly women than men is because the way media portrays women and the way they portray men. Just look at the pressures of society on women and how they are supposed to look by watching commercials on tv, and that's not including any movies or television shows, vs. the pressure for men and thier appearance.  Another thing that plays a big role is what people have been said on the board, the mocking of people from their peers. In my opinion, Body Dysmorphia couldn't exist without the help of the media and pressures/ mocking from other peers.

The problem agan, facts. Please pople, before you comment and make an argument on BDD, hae your fact straight. BDD affects men JUST as much as women. UGH.
 
October 30, 2007, 3:27 pm CDT

damn

those girls were both gorgeous! yes i think cheyenne is just judging herself she doesn't have body dysmorphia.  cheyenne does bueaty pagnants so of course she is obsessed with her look. cheyenne isn't ugly anyways she's a barbie doll. that other girl, don't remember her name (playin with my puppy), is a beautiful sexy girl. I want to look like her. I was in a serious car accident may 28th 2005.  Now I'm blind out of one eye, so my pupil is huge and i have horrid scars. Even before she was prettier than me though. I think very low of myself i look in the mirror for hours trying to perfect myself but I know i'll never be perfect and the world is still going? I move on with my life doing things that need to be done. you can think i'm ugly i could care less, i already think it myself and so what i'm unique?
 
October 30, 2007, 3:30 pm CDT

10/30 Body Dysmorphia

Quote From: butterfly88

I don't think that this is a disease. I think that this is all up in the mind. But it didn't start in the mind, I think the media plays a major role on this. The reason I think that this is happening to mostly women than men is because the way media portrays women and the way they portray men. Just look at the pressures of society on women and how they are supposed to look by watching commercials on tv, and that's not including any movies or television shows, vs. the pressure for men and thier appearance.  Another thing that plays a big role is what people have been said on the board, the mocking of people from their peers. In my opinion, Body Dysmorphia couldn't exist without the help of the media and pressures/ mocking from other peers.

You think this is "all up in the mind"?  you mean the way they use to think depression was something to "shake off"?  And since there seems to be so little heard about this what makes you think that it's more women that are suffering from this?  There was just a woman right here on the message board talking about her father who'd had this all of her life. 

 

I'm sure the media "plays a part"  as well as being picked on by peers.  I have to wonder how much of this isn't actually from emotional damage done at another time that even the parents might not know about.  For example just a couple weeks ago there was the little girl the authorities were looking for who'd been horrifically sexually abused/raped by that guy & the authorities ended up showing the childs picture on TV to find out where she was because they had the God awful tape and didn't know if she was still with that monster being hurt or in a safe place.   Turned out this had been years earlier it had happened and the parents didn't have any idea it had even happened.  Fron the last I'd heard the doctors that examined this little girl & spoke with her had said she has no memory of what happened & I think they said this is just the way the mind protects itself.  I'm sure they're right but who is to say that some day this in the back of her mind it won't come out in a nother way?  If her parents hadn't even been made toknow what happened & she had an emotional problem later on they'd have no clue.  Just because she doesn't really remember doesn't mean it's gone from her mind...........  Thinks like this really screw people up & we just don't know or have a ful understanding of why the mind does the things it does sometimes. 

 

as far as men & their pressures go I imagine men have just a little in the way of "pressure" themselves

 
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