Topic : 03/19 A Model's Dangerous Marriage

These people need some serious help. Their problems stem from the past which has never been resolved.  I grew up in a home where there was passive aggressive behavior, doors were slammed and no one spoke to each other for a month.  They simply took themselves away.  When there was fighting there were nasty words and an  unwillingness to listen.  Its called emotional abuse.  It lives inside the person but through fear of God's punishment, it was the silent but deadly abuse.  No one got hit or beat up, but emotionally, it may have as well happened. 

The problem with these two people is that they are reacting to something in their past. Practicing self control will not help because if there is something to control, that means its still there, whatever it is. They need a good transformational seminar where they get to deal with their problems on their own.  They need to separate and take these seminars on their own and discover their own transformation.  There are many transformational technologies that are available to people with a click of a mouse.  The problem will be getting humble enough to want to learn and want to improve.  These people lack communication skills and they don't know how to resolve their issues without their own egos getting in the way. They need a separation for about six months, take some seminars and then see who they are with each other.

To take  "Love one another even as I have loved you" and twist it into a reason that a woman or man should stay in an abusive relationship is bogus. No one should feel that they are meant to be a doormat, under any circumstances, in any situation. That is just wrong, wrong, wrong. (Wrong!)

You definitely know what you're talking about.  I didn't know for the longest time why every relationship I entered into was doomed for failure. After just a few sessions with a psychologist, it became clear it all stemmed from my father's abuse (mental, physical and emotional).  The psychologist pointed out to me how I was forever trying to get my father's love and affection through many relationships and once I got it, I wanted to hurt them (get back at my father for not loving me).  I wish I could afford to stick with the sessions long enough to get permanent help because now I'm still looking for "Mr. Right."  I'm on husband #5 now at age 70!  I know what this daughter will endure her whole life through unless she gets some good counseling early.

I think you're your right on the money!  And I'm a woman!  A woman that has been in an abusive relationship!  She stays, nags him, pushes his buttons, drives him to edge and then says "he did this to me!"  I saw right through her.  I didn't think Dr Phil addressed her issues enough.  Although I believe the first thing needed to be addressed is:  NO, he can't touch her, and he DOES need to leave before he really snaps (after all, a child is involved, and although he doesn't want to leave his child, he needs to for a  time for her sake.)    You're right, she just wants him to look bad.  I whole hardily believe that she's the bigger problem here.  And don't you know that her next relationship will be the same thing?  That's where the old saying goes "time will tell."  Time can be your best friend, while feeling like your worst enemy.  His next relationship will probably be great, then he'll have the on going turmoil of her trying to turn their daughter against him.  After this show (because most of the attention was on him) she'll be even more smug and cynical.  She's extremely dysfunctional and she's driving him to drink so to speak.  Been there (reversed rolls of course.)  I'm really sad to see so many people buying her act.  I only hope he reads the comments from the few of us that don't buy it.  He needs encouragement that good wins in the end, and even if it seems like he's being separated from his daughter right now, and it seems like she's pulled the wool over everyone's eyes,  he will be the victor in the end if he leaves and takes the help.  He does need to run from the chaos to have a clearing of his mind.  Every good man has a good woman behind him,  She's a disgrace to our gender.  She's "one of those."   She's a nagging bitch.  I'm surprised that Dr Phil called him the "right fighter" and not her.  Actually, the Bible says, "It is better to sit on the roof top, than to be in a house with a brawling woman."  (Proverbs)  Hee hee.  Thanks for your input, it needed to be said.

Sincerely,

A Proverbs 31 woman