Topic : 03/19 A Model's Dangerous Marriage

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Created on : Friday, October 26, 2007, 02:55:30 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1

(Original Air Date: 10/31/07) It was the picture–perfect wedding -- a model marrying the handsome man she says treated her like gold. But after a few years of marriage, Kevin and Heather are in a dangerous relationship. They constantly yell, scream and fight, and their home life has gotten so bad that Heather says Kevin has picked her up by the throat, thrown her to the ground, held her at knifepoint and even taught their 3-year-old daughter to call her the C-word. You won't believe where their daughter ends up during the chaos! Kevin says Heather is the one who gets in his face, and she needs to stop being so controlling. He claims he's a changed man, but should she trust his behavior now? The Dr. Phil show installed cameras in their home. Why does Dr. Phil say the footage caught on tape is frightening? And, their moms weigh in on the situation. Should Heather spend another night under the same roof as Kevin? Her uncle offers her a safe place to rest, but will she take him up on the offer, or return home with the man she says could kill her or her daughter? Join the discussion.


Find out what happened on the show.



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March 20, 2008, 7:26 am PDT

MODEL'S DANGEROUS MARRIAGE

What if she didn't have children?  They profess to be Christians.  Should she still leave, even though God hates divorce?

 
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March 20, 2008, 7:41 am PDT

Don't get it

Quote From: elsieet

Wow, I was very surprised at you Dr. Phil.  I realize that this wife and mother had some problems, but it really seemed as if you were telling her she deserved what she got.  I feel that she was unaware of the damage she was causing her child.  She was definitely behaving like an abused wife (hounding him).  You were condescending and rude to this woman, excuse me abused woman.  That just empowered the husband.  Each time you raised your voice to her, the husband responded positively.  He even bowed down to you!  I was sickened.  The things this man did and said to her were 100 times worse than anything that little woman could have done.  I hope to God you are following this family.  You should have been more conscientious about getting that young woman and her baby daughter away from that man before he killed them. 
I didn't get that impression at all!!!   I actually didn't think he was hard enough on her.  I think she's quite pleased with herself.  She quite accomplished what she set out to do, and that is make him look like the one that's at fault.  She's a button pusher and then points the finger at him and wants everyone to know how horrible he is.  Men can't take it.  She's exactly the reason men bitch about their wives to their buddies and have affairs.  She a disgrace to women that are loving and caring.  I agree he shouldn't touch her and that he needs to RUN as fast as he can before something happens,  but she's just as guilty and probably more so.  I think she purposely keeps her daughter there and she's the type that will tell her daughter how horrible daddy is!  She's selfish and smug, and she love the chaos.  I personally wish he'd brought her down off her "high horse."   It was like pulling teeth to get her to admit any ownership in this warfare!  She's as dysfunctional as they come.   I'm sorry you were so snowed. 
 
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March 20, 2008, 7:50 am PDT

I agree

Quote From: maleabused

Dr. Phil I am a 30 something male who was also in a relationship with a younger woman ( 8 yrs) and would like to express my sympathy for the man who is definetly feeling the age difference in the relationship.   I was also brought up to not hit girls, not to hit in anger no matter WHAT.  My mother is a spousal abuse cousellor and also a verteran of the cause.  I grew up knowing, living, breathing that violence within an intimate relationship is NEVER an acceptable action.  Further as a student nurse it is now mandatory to enquire, of women, if abusive types of acts are occuring in their relationship. 

 

My point is this - MEN CAN BE ABUSED - old school men used to growl and they would be allowed their space, the guy on the show, myself, all big men used to use this as an effective tool to get their space.  These days however the women in the relationship similar to that women on the show - though pretty - WAS A PSCYCHO-  troubled history and a junkie for negative attention, or the women who doesn't feel alive unless they have a burden, a cause that they have to throw all their emotional energy into -- MAINLY AN EXCUSE any excuse all excuses.  And like the mowen from the show will not give an opinion until forced but is usually qualified based on some other plausible OUT. AAAAAAGGGHHGHGHGHGHG

 

I identify with the man on the show, kinda large, but I have never struck my spouse out of anger, rage, or spite.  I have said every nasty thing under the sun, never toward my daughter, but i have also tried to teach my daughter to say bitch.  I have used the C word, the list can go on and on.  I have had to leave the house many times to calm a situation down and the police have been called to the house.  I feel why this man was frustrated and agree that the amount of love he may have for his family will ultimately be destroyed by a woman who does not know how to trust or be loved.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Why don't you do a show with the female as the abuser, your point of view that the man should be bloodied and bruised and half dead before they can consider never touching a woman.  THIS IS WRONG, what you do is give women, and daughters a free pass to hurt men in society with these comments and this issue is already something i will liken to being gay in the 50's - 60's.  I understand that your old-school upbringing and the TEXAS influence probably doesn't allow you to listen too to many whining men but I would like to say.  HOW many women have hit their spouses out of anger and gotten away with it.!!!!!!!!!!

 

This for me is a very touchy issue because what is good for the goose is good for the gander and I am nothing if not fair.  I have witnessed spousal abuse from all sides and the issue is very near and dear to me.  HELP SOME OF YOUR MALE WATCHERS by doing a show about female abusers, the excuses, the lies, the lack of trust, love and committment and what men can do to help their women change, or at least to see, understand and learn from their partners who are older.

 

Either that or do a show on the women who have children with men because their lives are hollow and empty and don't want to be lonely again.  I would really like to see the show, get some advice, something.

 

Thanks for listening. 

 

 

I'm a woman,  and I couldn't agree with you more.  
 

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March 20, 2008, 7:58 am PDT

No guns

Quote From: iamvip

I must admit I am having a hard time feeling sorry for Heather.  She seems like an immature attention  seeker who is addicted to attention in whatever form she can get it.

 

What's so hard about leaving?  The man keeps trying to get away from her all the time.  She knows he is capable of slapping her around, yet she continues to wlak directly into those fist again and again.  If he says leave him alone -  THEN LEAVE HIM ALONE!  What's so hard about that.  MOVE.  Get A restraining order.  Get a gun!

 

Guess what Heather, you are raising a daughter that will up expeecting to get the **** beat out of her all the time too!  Think of who the REAL victim is - your daughter.

 

What are they both there for?  There is no love between them and clearly he feels like she ruined his life by having the baby ( I guess he feels he had no part in the pregnancy!).

 

If you need a thrill, go ride a roller coaster, don't destroy your daughter's life.  Where are the grandparents?  somebody needs to take that baby!!!

No don't get a gun. How stupid is that.

Get out, or let him leave. He said he would go.

You're both wasting your life being together. Move on, find happiness.

Quit hurting your child. This will effect her the rest of her life. Then she will end up in a relationship much like this.  If you stay together any longer they should take your child away from both of you.

 
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March 20, 2008, 12:46 pm PDT

I COMPLETELY agree with you, and I too, am very upset with Dr. Phil

Quote From: elsieet

Wow, I was very surprised at you Dr. Phil.  I realize that this wife and mother had some problems, but it really seemed as if you were telling her she deserved what she got.  I feel that she was unaware of the damage she was causing her child.  She was definitely behaving like an abused wife (hounding him).  You were condescending and rude to this woman, excuse me abused woman.  That just empowered the husband.  Each time you raised your voice to her, the husband responded positively.  He even bowed down to you!  I was sickened.  The things this man did and said to her were 100 times worse than anything that little woman could have done.  I hope to God you are following this family.  You should have been more conscientious about getting that young woman and her baby daughter away from that man before he killed them. 
I can't say it better myself. Everything you said is exactly how I felt when I watched the show. I was shocked and disappointed in the way Dr. Phil spoke to this, very much so, abused woman - he completely singled her out and put her down, he was condescending and very rude to her! The husband is the one that needs the most help. And the mother and child need to be away from this person, who is obviously not a man, but only a coward! I too, feel the mother was unaware of the damage she was causing her child. My jaw dropped when Dr. Phil asked, "what are you doing carrying that baby around with you while you are engaging in these yelling, screaming fights with your husband". - It sounded to me like she was the one trying to leave the situation and he was the one not allowing her to leave. -What is she supposed to do if her ABUSER physically stops her from going anywhere. It's not like she can lock the child in a cubby hole until the husband decides he has punished his wife enough for her, oh so terrible nagging. She said she tries to leave, (which would be the right thing to do) but her ABUSER doesn't let her. I think Dr. Phil should have turned to the husband AS WELL, and said, "YOU DO NOT ENGAGE IN YELLING, SCREAMING FIGHTS IN FRONT OF YOUR DAUGHTER, WHO IS INNOCENT IN THE MATTER. PERIOD. THAT IS UNACCEPTABLE BEHAVIOR. PERIOD. Dr. Phil should teach BOTH parents that, so they BOTH realize how THEY are BOTH responsible for hurting their daughter by fighting in front of her. I hope and pray, for the safety of the mother and child, the husband isn't allowed anywhere near either of them, until he has had serious help.
 

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March 20, 2008, 2:25 pm PDT

zamane_2007

i think this woman she is afraid to leave this man cuze she think he will do bad to her if she will leave him and she know he will get angry moor than any time so i think there fore she still by him now and she still accepting all what he is doing to her but i know if she will find some one who can give her peace and care for her and save her any time i know she will leave him without any Conditions i fell sad and pain wen i see some ppl have the same problem but i know dr.phil he will do some thing to finish this prolem like he did allways
 

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March 20, 2008, 2:36 pm PDT

zamane_2007

im arab man from algeria we dont have alot of this problems in aour cantry but i did not say we dont have but i think the usa it is not the usa of the lust eayrs day after day this world become crasy and verry bad life i think we need ather bibole to come talke with this ppl and help them to find the right way this sik and crasy ppl they will naver thanks god for what they had and fir what they have now .We absorb the losses. Calm after the storm i wish one day evrry bady they will anderstand that and i wish all ppls in this world they think like i think and i wish for them to be closer to the treu .this world be come verry hard to find the right ppl who they can make Good and productive society for future generations
 
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March 20, 2008, 7:46 pm PDT

03/19 A Model's Dangerous Marriage

Let me start by saying I don't condone Kevin's abusive behavior.  He is an abuser and he is potentially dangerous.  He has no right to hit his wife or anybody else because they get in his face.

 

I am also flabbergasted by many posts that excuse Heather's behavior.  Since when is it normal to attach your child to your person in the middle of a very heated argument.  I find it extremely hard to believe that most abused women would put their children in a potentially dangerous and harmful situation.  Most abused women walk on eggshells trying not to set their abuser's temper off.  Most mother's put their children's welfare first as well which Heather clearly is not doing.

 

Dr. Phil did not give Kevin a free pass on his behavior and place the blame on Heather.  He was trying to show Heather how her behavior worsens an already bad situation and how harmful this situation is to their daughter.

 

While watching the show Heather actions were equivalent to using gasoline to put out a fire.  Her husband has been physical with her, she knows he can and will get physical and  yet she doesn't run and cower from him or leave him.  No Heather keeps at him and fuels his rage.  Heather is also an abuser for dragging her daughter into these fights.

 

Both Kevin and Heather are abusive people and the sad thing is their is an innocent child caught in the middle of this mess.  That innocent child is the victim in this mess of a marriage.

 

 

 
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March 20, 2008, 8:54 pm PDT

aduse

Heather,

You need to take your daughter and leave.This is not going to get any better. You need to think about your safety and your daughters safety. Please do not put your daughter in the middle of your heated fights. That can harm her and also put her life in dangar.
 
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March 20, 2008, 10:49 pm PDT

03/19 A Model's Dangerous Marriage

These two deserve eachother.  The guy is a moron and she is too brainless to realize what damage they are doing to that beautiful little girl.    CPS should be brought into that relationship.  There is no such thing as a love/hate relationship.  When a child is brought into the middle of things, your life is no longer about you.....it is about what is right and safe for that baby.  Get a grip Heather and leave that sorry sack of *&%^.   This show just made my blood boil. 

Thankyou

 

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