Quote From: cathapyFirst, after reading the posts for 11/05 shows, I think most of these people are responding to another show, not this one. Did I miss something??
I watched this show and thought Grandma was so far out of line, that I am wondering by her words and actions, how she can ever be a viable part of her son & grandchildren's life. Once her son's paternity was established, she didnt even remotley try to apologize, or make ammends for her actions. She just seemed to go on finding fault with something else. Dr.Phil suggested that children can really benefit from having grandparents in their lives, and I totally agree, because I had the best grandparents in the world, but I dont think these parents should expose their children to a "toxic grandmother", and should not let her see them unsupervised, until she can get some couselling. It is obvious she has issues with her daughter-in-law and I think she always will, and will use those negative feelings to try to poison her granchildren's mind against their mother. This is child abuse in my opinion, and since parents are supposed to protect their children at all cost, they need to protect them from this lady. She should only be allowed to see the children in their home with both parents present and if she gets out of line, she should be asked to leave, out of earshot of the children
Granny-get it together, for the children's sake and your own. You will regret it one day if you dont.
Just a few comments to my original post. My first Mother-in -law did not want her son to marry me-or anyone for that matter. She was a widow, and he had been living with her before we met, to help her financially, since she wasnt old enough to draw SS yet. After we married, we moved to NJ and wrote, called, and went to visit as often as possible-a good 8-9 hour drive. As newlyweds, we were didnt have a lot of money, and could not afford a second car for me to go to work. However, his Mom still needed all of her expenses paid, just as she did when he lived with her. So I got a job in the apartment complex where we lived, and took the money I made plus what I could manage to put away from his check, and sent it to her in a money order 2-3 times a month. We paid her landlord directly as well as her utilities, and I made sure she had extra for a cab should she need to get to the store in bad weather. She lived in a small town. For Mother's Day, birthday's & Christmas, I bought the gifts, and although her needs were simple, I made sure she knew she hadnt been abandoned. This lady wasnt very nice to me at all-in her eyes I had taken away her son. Why did I do it? For him because he was my husband and I loved him and she had created so much havoc in his first marriage, that his first wife had left him. Also, I knew this lady had mental problems that she would never address, so we made sure she was safe and well fed. When my husband died at 31, I let her plan his funeral the way that made her feel good. I moved back to my hometown and when I got a job, continued to send her money. She was getting her SS by this time, so I didnt have to send her as much, but I remembered her on special occassions, and kept in touch. She never once thanked me or said she was sorry, but I didnt need that from her. I did the right thing in his honor and memory. She passed on several years later.
When I remarried, she made me a homemade patchwork quilt, from scraps of fabric from her old house dresses, and some of his old shirts. It was the best gift my new husband & I received. My second MIL was and angel. She wrote me a beautiful letter before she had even met me, welcoming me to the family, his parents paid for us to fly to his hometown, and held an open house so that I could meet his other family and friends. She also presented me with a charm bracelet reflecting some of the things she knew about me-my love for cats, my sun sign, a nurses cap, an airplane signifing our trip. For 18 years that wonderful woman was like a mother to me, and even though my husband left me for someone he met in AA, to this day I still miss her.
The point I want to make is, sometimes we have to make consessions for the one's we love. Yes, we have to protect the children from being pulled between MIL & parents, but if love for one's spouse is behind your motives, it can be worked out. Being RIGHT isnt always that important. Being understanding is, and you wont regret it. I didnt!
(Original Air Date: 11/05/07) Dr. Phil tackles the emotionally-charged topic of DNA tests. Over 300,000 paternity tests are done every year, 100,000 of which actually prove a father has been previously misidentified. Dr. Phil’s guest, Terrie, claims one of her grandchildren does not look like any of the men on her side of the family, and definitely not like her son, Adam. Terrie has called her daughter-in-law, Diane, a "bald-faced liar" and "a crazy woman," and Diane says her mother-in-law is dead to her! Is Terrie just a meddling mother-in-law, or is she right in thinking her son is not her grandson’s biological father? When Dr. Phil reads the results of a top-notch DNA test, will her fears be legitimized or put to rest? And what will they mean for the feuding in-laws? Then, meet Kristie, who says that after a brief affair, she found out she was pregnant. When she told the father, she says he changed his phone number and disappeared … until Dr. Phil found him. A hidden camera captures the moment when a Dr. Phil’s investigator tracks down the alleged father-to-be -- and you won’t believe his reaction. Will he take responsibility? Or will Kristie’s next rendezvous with her former paramour take place before a judge? Share your thoughts here.
