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Topic : 03/13 DNA Dramas

Number of Replies: 421
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Created on : Friday, November 02, 2007, 11:42:49 am
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 11/05/07) Dr. Phil tackles the emotionally-charged topic of DNA tests. Over 300,000 paternity tests are done every year, 100,000 of which actually prove a father has been previously misidentified. Dr. Phil’s guest, Terrie, claims one of her grandchildren does not look like any of the men on her side of the family, and definitely not like her son, Adam. Terrie has called her daughter-in-law, Diane, a "bald-faced liar" and "a crazy woman," and Diane says her mother-in-law is dead to her! Is Terrie just a meddling mother-in-law, or is she right in thinking her son is not her grandson’s biological father? When Dr. Phil reads the results of a top-notch DNA test, will her fears be legitimized or put to rest? And what will they mean for the feuding in-laws? Then, meet Kristie, who says that after a brief affair, she found out she was pregnant. When she told the father, she says he changed his phone number and disappeared … until Dr. Phil found him. A hidden camera captures the moment when a Dr. Phil’s investigator tracks down the alleged father-to-be -- and you won’t believe his reaction. Will he take responsibility? Or will Kristie’s next rendezvous with her former paramour take place before a judge? Share your thoughts here.

Find out what happened on the show.

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November 5, 2007, 7:39 am CST

11/05 DNA Dramas

I feel so bad for this little girl.  What kind of father (biological or emotional) disconnects himself from an innocent and naive daughter?  Yes, this is his daughter.  The thoughts of the men and stepmother on the show today really concern me.  If you are fortunate enough to have never suffered the effects of a broken or fallen marriage, good for you. Good thing men do not make babies or we could quite possibly have a nation-wide state of emergency on our hands.  Do I condone infidelity or straying within a marriage?... no!  Newsflash people:  It does happen everday.  Very few people admit to this action even if it is the "right" thing to do, and people (men and women) fall victim cluelessly in most cases.  The children cannot/should not be punished.  His name remains on the birth certificate, and oblivious or not at the time, he loved his daughter and accepted her as his own.  She (the daughter) should still be able to live with the same financial comfort now that she lived at while he helped provide for her the first ten years of their relationship.  This is the least he can provide to her after ripping her out of his life emotionally and scarring her heart forever.

 
November 5, 2007, 7:48 am CST

DNA DRAMAS

I watch to show and feel really frustrated that the courts can't get something together to be fair to everyone involved. (When a case is first introduce to the courts it should require a paternity test automatically), this may help reduce and stop the pain early on.

 

The mother is the criminal in this case, why shouldn't she pay for her actions? She deceived her daughter, ex-husband, and man she commited adultry with. She should be penalized for her bad decision on concealing the truth. She not only messed up her daughter, ex-husband, and maybe daughter's biological life, but she is not being asked to take responsibility? Something is very wrong with this! Some men pay child support and  don't even get to see the child(ren) or even have a relationship with the child(ren).

 

The ex-husband should have the option to continue being a father to the child, if he wants to. He should not be court ordered to pay child support, unless he wants to. The child should be told the truth and decide, if she wants to know who her biological father. Waiting until she gets older can cause more resentment, pain, and deprive the biological father from knowing who his child.

 

The mother chould not be paid child support from the ex-husband, but she should have to pay every DIME back that was paid to her under false pretense. Why reward her for her lies, deception, and selfishness??? This type of case is not fair, but it happens everyday.

 

Yes, the court say they think about the child, but do they really? What if the biological father is a good man and he wants to have a bond with his child. What if he can financially support her better?

Adults and children both can have a hard time dealing with things like this. So, the ex-husband she be applauded, because imagine how he must feel. Maybe he can't mentally handle this news, and chose not to deal with her because he sees another child, not his own.

 

We judge, but what if it happened to you!!! hmmm. Something to think about.

 

 

 
November 5, 2007, 7:51 am CST

Today's show missed some important points:

1.  What about this girl's relationship with her mother?  Maria cheated on her gusband, breaking a solemn vow,  She lied about who the father of her daughter really is.  She lied to cheat Enrique out of support money.  She continues to protect the real father by not revealing his identity.

2.  At some point, it will become important for this girl to know her own genetic and medical history.  For that she needs to know who her biological father is.

3.  It is possible that this man may want a relationship with his biological daughter.

 
November 5, 2007, 7:55 am CST

Parents should get along

I think the mother -in-law and daugher-in-law should get along for the baby's sake because this isn't working out right I'm bipolar too and I can tell i'm in a the same situation with my sister's daughter who is pregnant as well I did help by going to the hospital where I work at and got some papers for her and she

went crazy on me and and I was only trying to help and I haven't heard from her since and very worried about

her I scared and very ashamed for what i did i was only trying to help my niece and her mother and I don't

know what do so i I think that both of them the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law in the meantime should

get along for everybody sake.

 
November 5, 2007, 7:58 am CST

Heart Breaking

My son was going with a women that had two children by two different fathers

and no one was paying child support, He decided he loved her and her children

and was willing to take the responsibility of being the father figure giving the children

and his girlfriend a home and stability...Then his girlfriend started needing space and

causing upset to the whole family, they broke up for a few months, and my son still saw

the children once in awhile through her mother and sister. His girlfriend called him up and

said she was pregnant and wanted to try again, he took them all back bought a house, and

supported everyone, since she was so sick with nausea that she couldn't work through the

whole pregnancy..To my son these were his children in his heart, They were my grandchildren

I talked to them on the phone, send birthday,and Christmas gifts etc. My son was so excited about

the new baby coming and so was I. The baby was born May 25th, 2006 he sent pictures and

the baby a little girl looked very dark to me and his girlfriend is very pale and my son is also

white.This was not my son's baby, I never said anything then she started fighting with him again

and he had been supporting everyone for a year and put himself in great debt for new furniture and

bought her a new car, mortgage payments etc. As the baby grew you could see she was African American, She threatened my son that even though they were never married he was going to pay

dearly for the support of the baby. My son at that point told me he was going to fight for custody of

the baby, that's when I got on a plane to California and took him and the baby for a DNA test.

Of course it came out ZERO chance that it was his..She knew as soon as I came into town she

had a problem, she grabbed the kids and took off for her mothers house.

She had my son served with child support papers we had an attorney send her a declaration to sign

stating that she knows this is not my sons child unless she wanted to be sued for back child support and housing for a year not to mention the pain and suffering she afflicted on all the children, my son, and for me as the supposed grandmother...So everyone lost out and no one is the better for it.

Sure my son was saved from a horrible life with her, but he misses the children and the baby especially...It is heartbreaking..SHE KNEW ALL ALONG IT WAS NOT HIS CHILD.

YesI think it should be mandatory to have DNA tests taken with each pregnancy to avoid all the

heartbreak, and upset of childrens lives....at least if you know you have a choice to accept children

that you didn't father..Afterall we always know who the mother is!!

 

Patricia a saddened ExGrandmother

 

 
November 5, 2007, 8:02 am CST

Paternity flaws.....

I watch to show and feel really frustrated that the courts can't get something together to be fair to everyone involved. (When a case is first introduce to the courts it should require a paternity test automatically), this may help reduce and stop the pain early on. 

 

The mother is the criminal in this case, why shouldn't she pay for her actions? She deceived her daughter, ex-husband, and man she commited adultry with. She should be penalized for her bad decision on concealing the truth. She not only messed up her daughter, ex-husband, and maybe daughter's biological life, but she is not being asked to take responsibility? Something is very wrong with this! Some men pay child support and don't even get to see the child(ren) or even have a relationship with the child(ren).

 

The ex-husband should have the option to continue being a father to the child, if he wants to. He should not be court ordered to pay child support, unless he wants to. The child should be told the truth and decide, if she wants to know who her biological father. Waiting until she gets older can cause more resentment, pain, and deprive the biological father from knowing who his child.

 

The mother chould not be paid child support from the ex-husband, but she should have to pay every DIME back that was paid to her under false pretense. Some men work two and three jobs to pay child support, so why should he be burden for a child that not his? Why reward her for her lies, deception, and selfishness??? There should be a legal procedure in place to saved the accused fathers from being jailed, credit being ruined, and able to sue the mother for emotional distress. He mmight have been dealing with a woman, that has been interferring with his current relationship. This type of case is not fair, but it happens everyday.

 

 

Yes, the court say they think about the child, but do they really? What if the biological father is a good man and he wants to have a bond with his child. What if he can financially support her better?

Adults and children both can have a hard time dealing with things like this.  So, the ex-husband she be applauded, because imagine how he must feel. Maybe he can't mentally handle this news, and chose not to deal with her because he sees another child, not his own.

 

We judge, but what if it happened to you!!! hmmm. Something to think about.

 

 

 
November 5, 2007, 8:09 am CST

When mothers lie...

it causes so much hurt and pain in the long run. That mother Maria should be ashamed of herself. She has set a horrible example for her daughters. She should have been honest with her husband when she was pregnant with Selena and told him she might not be his child. Who knows, he may have chosen to stay with her and raise Selena, but at least he would have known.

 

He should not be made to pay child support. Had he chosen to raise her knowing the truth, like my husband's dad did, then yes he would be responsible, but when he was tricked into fatherhood, he should not be responsible for child support.

 

I do regret his decision to cut off the relatioship with the daughter, but I think it was because he felt so hurt and betrayed by his ex-wife, that he was not thinking clearly. I hope that they can repair their relationship in time.

 
November 5, 2007, 8:09 am CST

11/05 DNA Dramas

Okay Grandma, a child does NOT have to look like his FATHER or ANY of the men in your family to be his, read up on genetics sometime.

Didn't see the show yet, so it may NOT be his child, but it really annoys me to hear, "Well it can't be one of ours, he dosen't look like any of them ".

To use an example,

My husband and I, both Brunettes, he has blue eyes as does his WHOLE family, my eyes are green, and guess what, I have a daughter who is a flaming redhead, with frekles and brown eyes and a son who has light brown almost blond hair and brown eyes.  The only thing my son inherited from his Dad was his height, and I will NEVER deny the child as mine, but his father and their family could.

Out of the eight Grandchildren my inlaws have, only TWO have blue eyes like the rest of their family.

The point is the child does NOT have to look like any of you to belong to that family, one of my nephews went through this and it has scarred him for life, he is Blond, blue eyed, short and stocky, NOTHING like his Father, or that side of the family, he endured the whispers of his Mother SUPPOSED affair of which he was the product, my BIL, to his credit NEVER questioned it, but the rest did, he suffered the rejection and the shame that were NOT his fault, and BTW yes my BIL is his FATHER.

Sounds more to me like Grandma has more issues with her DIL than the parentage of the child, but I'm going to watch and see maybe if I eat my words (wouldn't be the first time for that )

 
November 5, 2007, 8:11 am CST

Butt out Grandma

When my son (21) and his girlfriend (19) were suddenly confronted with being parents after only dating a few months it was a tough time for him, her and all of their families.  Her mother thought that I should know that she had been seeing her ex boyfriend around the same time that she was dating my son.  At the time I felt she was looking out for my son but since I  doubt that was the case.  They both informed my husband and myself that she was just trying to break them up.  At least we all knew that there was chance this was not his child.  We had a chance to think about it and decided that we could love a new family member that might not share our DNA. 

 

When she was born we all fell in love with her.  She has my son's mouth, eyes and disposition.  Still, I wouldn't want her to be DNA tested because it would not matter to  us or our son but it might matter to my granddaughter.

 

I wish my son had avoided the whole "Maury Show" style mess.  I think that this grandma feels that way too.   I home schooled him for several years, sent him to private schools and college.  The age old mother's question "where did I go wrong?' has crept in from time to time.  They are married now and have another little girl that we also adore.  Please keep them in your prayers.  We just want all the drama behind us. 

 
November 5, 2007, 8:15 am CST

about kristi

  being a single parent of 3, i can understand what she is going through. but do you really want a man like this in your child's life? my oldest is 25, she calls her dad her SD, sperm donor. he was a part of her life until about age 6 or so. then i don't what happened. he doesn't live far from us, just quit getting her for visits, calling, etc. now he calls her on his birthday. i proud to say that ive raised a terrific young woman who has a degree in educ. and is married to a wonderful man who loves her very much.  and i did it without the help of her father. my youngest children are 13 and 11. they too have very little contact with their dad by his choosing. he lives 2 miles away. im trying to raise them the best i can to become responsible, respectable adults who will contribute to this world.    kristi, you can do this on your own...im living proof. do you really want a man who denies your child now, even with a parernity test doesn't guarantee he'll be a father to your child...is it about child support?  doesn't mean he'll ever pay. im just getting child support now for my 25 yr old because her dad is on disability...paying her student loan with it. i picture the two of you arguing about visitation, money, school functions, day care, etc. in front of your child for the entirity of his/her life. talking bad about one another, etc. i dont have discussions with their fathers concerning those matters. when the younger ones ask about why their dad doesn't live with us, see them, etc. i explain about the responsibilities one has when they have a family and children and that their dad didn't want to have those kind of responsibilites...anyway good luck with what ever you decide but if i were you, i'd forget the dad and have a wonderful life raising your child             jean
 
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