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Topic : 03/13 DNA Dramas

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Created on : Friday, November 02, 2007, 11:42:49 am
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 11/05/07) Dr. Phil tackles the emotionally-charged topic of DNA tests. Over 300,000 paternity tests are done every year, 100,000 of which actually prove a father has been previously misidentified. Dr. Phil’s guest, Terrie, claims one of her grandchildren does not look like any of the men on her side of the family, and definitely not like her son, Adam. Terrie has called her daughter-in-law, Diane, a "bald-faced liar" and "a crazy woman," and Diane says her mother-in-law is dead to her! Is Terrie just a meddling mother-in-law, or is she right in thinking her son is not her grandson’s biological father? When Dr. Phil reads the results of a top-notch DNA test, will her fears be legitimized or put to rest? And what will they mean for the feuding in-laws? Then, meet Kristie, who says that after a brief affair, she found out she was pregnant. When she told the father, she says he changed his phone number and disappeared … until Dr. Phil found him. A hidden camera captures the moment when a Dr. Phil’s investigator tracks down the alleged father-to-be -- and you won’t believe his reaction. Will he take responsibility? Or will Kristie’s next rendezvous with her former paramour take place before a judge? Share your thoughts here.

Find out what happened on the show.

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November 5, 2007, 11:20 am CST

11/05 DNA Dramas

Quote From: zuboo8

this issue was tackled the week of 10/29 with Enrique and Maria, the non-bio father who ceased a r'ship with his "daughter" after he found out DNA test.  My stance is in support of these men not having to pay for children that are not theirs.  Women in this situation made the decisions of who they have intercourse with, they can be responsible for the consequences and ensuring the right man is paying his share. 

 

The law is currently built around the best interest of the child.  Yet men are being punished w/o recourse.  Take the instance of a stepparent or parents.  If a divorce occurs, there is no legal recourse to a stepparent to continue to monetarily or emotionally contribute; in fact, they have NO rights to continue the r'ship with the children unless one parent deems it acceptable.  So why are men the scapegoats for children that are not theirs biologically?  They essentially have the same r'ship with the child as a stepparent does: (hopefuly) an emotional bond - that's it. 

This lil girl was ten years old when her father dumped her. If he had adopted her this owuld have hurt just as much. The reasoning behind him doing this should have remained private between him and the exwife. The current wife is a shrew and did not belong in getting involved and has caused a rift.

There would be no adoption with the current husband and CPS would get involved in this case as the Father who raised them absolutely needs to be involved in this childs life, he is her father whether he is bio or not.

The bio father was a fling , simply fling probably gone and not able to be found.

I am  presumptuous on that, but people need to take in account the sins of the mother need not be put upon the child. the mother is at fault here, but the father should not have done what he did , it was emotional abuse of a child and both parents need to be taken to task for this.

Adoption is a bond and you cannot turn love off whether or not the sprm is not yours. He is not dumping an infant. He dumped a full grown child.

 

Men cannot be tricked into anything, I am tired of hearing that BS.

it take 2 to have sex and 2 to put on a condom and 2 to know when to stop having sex.

Never believe anyone when they say " I am sterile"

It is the place of every man and woman to take responsibility and know that when you have intercourse a child can be concieved.

There is no such a thing as being set up.

 

I have worked with men and women on this concept for years and it is all a bunch of BS.

That is a total myth and I know many women in this state who do pay child support.

In this state of Washington a progressive state we have cases of shared custody. YOU do not get shared custody if you are an alcoholic and drug use. You ahve to submit to drug testing on a regular basis.

False accusations of abuse are all investigated and all children are given private counsel  through the state of Washington.

Child support is not a reason not to see your children and cannot be used as a tool of extortionThe only set up are men who allowed them selves to be set up.  the only set up are women who allowed them selves to be set up and so far I have witnessed a few mens groups in this area in Washington state who have yelled screamed and protected men who are not very good people  and should not raise  goats, let alone a child.

 

Men have recourse.. a lawyer.

 
November 5, 2007, 11:59 am CST

11/05 DNA Dramas

Quote From: ceildh1

Okay Grandma, a child does NOT have to look like his FATHER or ANY of the men in your family to be his, read up on genetics sometime.

Didn't see the show yet, so it may NOT be his child, but it really annoys me to hear, "Well it can't be one of ours, he dosen't look like any of them ".

To use an example,

My husband and I, both Brunettes, he has blue eyes as does his WHOLE family, my eyes are green, and guess what, I have a daughter who is a flaming redhead, with frekles and brown eyes and a son who has light brown almost blond hair and brown eyes.  The only thing my son inherited from his Dad was his height, and I will NEVER deny the child as mine, but his father and their family could.

Out of the eight Grandchildren my inlaws have, only TWO have blue eyes like the rest of their family.

The point is the child does NOT have to look like any of you to belong to that family, one of my nephews went through this and it has scarred him for life, he is Blond, blue eyed, short and stocky, NOTHING like his Father, or that side of the family, he endured the whispers of his Mother SUPPOSED affair of which he was the product, my BIL, to his credit NEVER questioned it, but the rest did, he suffered the rejection and the shame that were NOT his fault, and BTW yes my BIL is his FATHER.

Sounds more to me like Grandma has more issues with her DIL than the parentage of the child, but I'm going to watch and see maybe if I eat my words (wouldn't be the first time for that )

One of my sons and my daughter both look like my side of the family. My other son looks just like his dad. I'm glad my in-laws didn't question us. I know they all belong to him. And he'd better know it also.

 
November 5, 2007, 12:10 pm CST

Blessings to ya

Quote From: fromthesquare

When my son (21) and his girlfriend (19) were suddenly confronted with being parents after only dating a few months it was a tough time for him, her and all of their families.  Her mother thought that I should know that she had been seeing her ex boyfriend around the same time that she was dating my son.  At the time I felt she was looking out for my son but since I  doubt that was the case.  They both informed my husband and myself that she was just trying to break them up.  At least we all knew that there was chance this was not his child.  We had a chance to think about it and decided that we could love a new family member that might not share our DNA. 

 

When she was born we all fell in love with her.  She has my son's mouth, eyes and disposition.  Still, I wouldn't want her to be DNA tested because it would not matter to  us or our son but it might matter to my granddaughter.

 

I wish my son had avoided the whole "Maury Show" style mess.  I think that this grandma feels that way too.   I home schooled him for several years, sent him to private schools and college.  The age old mother's question "where did I go wrong?' has crept in from time to time.  They are married now and have another little girl that we also adore.  Please keep them in your prayers.  We just want all the drama behind us. 

     This is always a delicate situation and I think you've handled it with great class.  I hope that I don't experience this nightmare situation myself, but you are proof that it can be handled and handled maturely.
 
November 5, 2007, 12:21 pm CST

wife in the middle

This show has just come on but the discourse between the wife and the mother in law remind me of my history with my mother in law. My mother in law has had outbursts, made cruel remarks, forgotten my children's birthdays but managed to brag about the great gifts to me she bought her daughter's child, etc.  In other words, for years she made my life hell and made trouble in my husband's and my relationship.  What I naively didn't realize at the time is that, like this wife remarked, my husband has always been afraid of his controlling mother.  I became the outsider who was a convenient target for both to diffuse their animosity.  Like I see this wife doing, I ended up taking the abuse, being the "savior" for my husband while he sat quietly by, like I see this husband.  Very screwed up.  The result, in my naivity, I was used by both.  Years later, I see years wasted and my husband has stayed the wimp who hasn't protected his family, my kids or myself.  I have been robbed from having a happy family by my own foolish hope of thinking that happiness would come.  Ironically, by my taking the heat for all family wrongs, my husband and mother now have a great relationship and I remained the outsider.  Maybe not exactly like this family, but I hope this wife doesn't go down the same road. She obviously has issues from having an affair, but her husband shouldn't stand by and let his mother stomp the dignity of his wife. Nothing good will come of it and she will have a bleak future of disappointments.  I know.....
 
November 5, 2007, 12:26 pm CST

Some mispostings here.

     I guess because their is some similarities to an episode recently there is an overlap here.  This show is not about the Maria, Enrique, Mia, and Selina case.  Comments on them here, while related to this show, would be best served on that message board as today's episode had some significant differences and comparisons may be unfair.
 
November 5, 2007, 12:29 pm CST

Mind Your Own Business

I think the bottom line is this grandmother just needs to mind her own business.  Who is she to say the child does not look like her side of the family - why would he need to?  The father of this boy accepted him no matter what - I am glad he turned out to be his son but it was obvious it didn't matter, he was his daddy who has been with him since day one.

 
November 5, 2007, 12:30 pm CST

DNA Dramas

DNA  dramas....my take on it. I'm 100% for the men with this whole mess. If that woman had 1/2 of a brain when she cheated on her partner, she should've had 1/2 of a brain to tell him the truth. She has absolutly no right to fight back on this issue. If I were her, I'd be so embarrassed for my actions, that I would man up (or woman up), and just pay myself. Why can't she support her child herself? I think the message that she's sending her daughter is a very deceptive one, and she should be very ashamed of herself. On the same note, I can't believe he told his daughter in such a horrible way. When talking to your children, you have to have tact. You have to know how to talk on their level, so that they can understand it without feeling dead inside. Dr. Phil hit it on the head when he said that the true victim is the child in this case. He may be a victim, but both of the adults need to look past their feelings, and tune into someone way more important.
 
November 5, 2007, 12:33 pm CST

11/05 DNA Dramas

I just finished watching you show today and i really would like for you to do more for the men who have been tricked into fatherhood. You as a man should relly do something for men, This situation has happened to my brother and he turned to drugs to avoid the hurt. I understand all that when it comes to the child, but what good does it do if a man in in pain over the fact that some play on him, you dont think that he could be a really good father to a child he is being forced to take care of and no one igs giving a d........m about how his life is now. What i get really out of all of this is that everyone always come up with the same thing, Welfare, no we dont want to go back to thse days, but surely we need to stop making men a womens welfare program just so the government can be off the hook. I myself think i could be in the same situation but i choose to ride it out because i love my child and it not his falt. This doesnt mean that others shouldnt have other options , this is mine.
 
November 5, 2007, 12:37 pm CST

WOW!!!

After telling her son her thoughts, the mom here should have backed off and let him live his own life. That said, it appears that the DIL wants to keep it going. She's so nasty and it looks as though she just wants to prove that her mother in law is evil. She comes off looking pretty immature. And the worst thing that this mother and DIL can do is put the man in the position of having to choose one over the other. Just once, I'd like to see 2 mature people trying to work out their problems in a mature way.
 
November 5, 2007, 12:47 pm CST

mens responsibility...

The thing I don't get is why do men have to take responsibility for children in the first place. I am a woman and in Canada if I get pregnant I have a few options; keep the baby, put it up for adoption or abort it. Two of those options involve removing that child from my life completely.  It drives me crazy that a man has no choice and is expected to raise a child or pay for a child that he does not want.  Women make mistakes and get pregnant and they have options so why don't men? Why are men expected to take responsibility for children they dont want? Men make mistakes too and I just do not understand in the least bit why it is against the law for a man to not pay child support.  It just doesnt make sense to me. If I get pregnant and decide to keep the baby the man is automatically signed up for life but I could have just as easily aborted the baby if I didn't want it.

 
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