Topic : 03/13 DNA Dramas

We have been married for 16 yrs and have 3 boys. Two look mostly like my husband, but the second one, looks just like my side of the family.

If one of my inlaws EVER suggested that I was a whore and my son was not also my husband's son, I would cut them off for life, and anyone else who didn't like it.

This Terrie is one evil, conniving, snake in the grass. I am glad her son can see her for the bitch that she is. Evil.

Even if the man never has unprotected sex a child is still possible, especially given some very deceptive tricks some women have done that have made the news (and those that have not).  "Forgetting" birth control is only one method.  Not to mention the obvious, that condoms aren't 100% effective all the time.  Are these men who do take precautions seriously given a pass by you or would you say your argument is more along the lines of...

"A man who doesn't want to get automatically signed up for life ought to skip sex & be cautious about anything involving his sperm since not every woman is responsible enough and some are much worse."

If you are with in a relationship with someone, you expect the relationship to grow and deepen over time; you expect a heart connection to be made and maintained.  You operate your life based on this expectation.  When your partner in the relationship does not or cannot make an emotional connection, the relationship becomes very painful.  Some of my favorite books that provide a great introduction and insight into personality types most capable of repeated infidelity are:

Why is it Always About You?  The Seven Deadly Sins of Narcissism by Sandy Hotchkiss  AND Emotional Blackmail:  When the People in Your Life Use Fear, Obligation and Guilt to Manipulate You by Susan Forward  

Malignant Self Love:  Narcissism Revisited by Sam Vaknin MAYBE The Professional Bachelors Dating Guide:  How to Exploit Her Inner Psycho by Dr Brett Tate

Get Me Out of Here:  My Recovery From Borderline Personality Disorder by Rachel Reiland OR Girl Interrupted by Susanna Kaysen OR Stop Walking on Eggshells by Paul Mason and Randi Kreger

Healthy Boundaries Workbook: Using Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills to Set and Maintain Better Boundaries by Deborah Deiboldt Legge OR Overcoming Passive-Aggression by Tim Murphy and Loriann Oberlin OR Emotional Unavailability by Bryn Collins

Though harder to spot, emotional abuse is easier to deny.  But just as physical abuse has signposts to mark its presence, emotional abuse, being a systematic attack on one's sense of self, has common traits.  Physical abuse comes in degrees of severity - emotional abuse also runs the gamut of intensity and damage.

There are relationships, marriages and families that are so destructive the only option is for a person to get out.  Get out with the little bit of sanity you may have remaining.  Make a promise to yourself to leave.  Leave so you can begin a life of healing and recovery.  Leave so you can learn to live a joyful, peaceful, trusting and fulfilling life.

Hope it helps!

That seems to be Dr Phil's answer to everything "in-law" situation these days and Dr Phil needs to realize that what a real "hero" would do is protect an innocent 9 year old child from an adult who is attacking them.

Her daughter-in-law may be nuts....but the mother-in-law  is a child abuser.  She called a 9 year old little girl "psycho", a liar, a manipulator  on National Television.    There is no way I would allow a woman like that around my children ... period (related or not). 

This is one MIL that has not "earned" the RIGHT to be part of their core family.  

Here's a novel idea:  All babies born require DNA testing before a father's name may be printed on the birth certificate.  If the DNA test proves the father wishing to be on the certificate is not his, then he must legally adopt the baby before becoming financially responsible.

An opinion everyone.... the mother-in-law and the daughter seem to be very similar in personality and the son is meek.  The son appears to depend on his wife to take on his mother.  Is this an example of the son choosing a wife like his mother????

I think the mother should SHUT UP AND BACK OFF but she won't.  she doesn't know how.  TOO BAD.

Daughter needs to ignore the mother in law and go about her business.  The children won't benefit from exposure to this grandmother anyway. ..... not without a lot of direct therapy.  That is an opinion!

Been There.

I took offense when Dr. Phil said they were acting like 5 year olds in the schoolyard. I have a son who just turned five, and I have never seen/would never see this kind of immature name calling come from him.

I have two words for all involved in this family: GROW UP.