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Topic : 06/19 Finding Alex

Number of Replies: 187
New Messages This Week: 0
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Created on : Friday, November 02, 2007, 11:49:16 am
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 11/07/07) How do you get through to rebellious teens who think they are invincible? When Alex and her mother, Kim, last appeared on the show, Alex was an out-of-control 14-year-old who was using drugs, running away and prostituting herself to older men. The family, along with Kim’s sister-in-law, Enza, moved into The Dr. Phil House for an intervention. After attending a therapeutic academy, it seemed like the teen was on the road to recovery. But shortly after returning home to her mom, Alex was back to her bad behavior and having sex with strange men –- some of whom she met on Craigslist! She went on the lam again, and Dr. Phil recruited investigator Harold Copus to hit the streets of Seattle to find her. When Harold confronts the teen, Alex has a major meltdown, then comes clean about the risky behavior she engaged in while living on the streets. She admits to having unprotected sex with up to 50 men, so Dr. Phil has her examined for STDs and pregnancy. What will the tests reveal? Then, Alex refuses to return home to her mother. Will there ever be reconciliation, and will Alex be able to get her life back on track? Join the discussion.

Find out what happened on the show.

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June 19, 2008, 8:42 pm CDT

For Kim

On the show today, you look like I felt about a year ago.  I too had problems with my daughter.  I have no support system where I live and do not have a mother that I can rely on.  My daughter thought the most important people in her life were her friends, and boys.  She ran off, she ditched school for a month.    I called the police on her twice took her to Alternative centers.  One day I was in a meeting and received a phone call that my daughter was arrested for cocaine possession.  I was devistated but was able to keep her in jail for two additional days.  It broke my heart to see her in an orange jump suit and chains.  What I do want you to know Kim, is that in spite of all your best efforts sometimes it takes a little bit of maturity and a child's experience of a bad situation for them to realize that life with mom really is not that bad.  I can bet that one of the most difficult things is to tell yourself it is not your fault.  The good news is that I can tell you that I have never been so proud of my little girl and you too may one day be able to say that.  Stick to your guns tell her you love her but you cannot put yourself around such negativity.  There is too much stress and you have other children you have to take care of.   Stay strong say prayers - that helps.
 
June 19, 2008, 9:10 pm CDT

you do not have a clue...

Quote From: deja126

I watched the last show about this kid and her mom and I think the problem is dear old mom. It seems to me the mother just wants Alex to raise herself and stay out of the moms way. What ever happened to good parents? Why can't she love her daughter enough to keep her home? I think the mom needs help more than Alex. I think Alex needs a stable home life away from her family because up until now her mom seems to be doing a crappy job. Learn to treat your children with love, treat them how you would want to be treated by a parent if you were a child. THINK, LEARN LOVE your kids

I use to think like you - "it must be the parents fault" until I raised a daughter in a good environment with much love and guidance and did not have the ideal results.

 

I think you may want to put yourself in the shoes of some other occassion when you did the best you could with a person in your life (I am sure there is someone), and they did not do precisely what you thought they should have done.

 

Judging someone when you have not been in their circumstances can be very costly.

 

Not judging them and having compassion ... priceless.

 
June 19, 2008, 9:29 pm CDT

to Alex mother

Alex is my daughter 10 yrs ago.  You are me 10 yrs ago.  I know what you are going thru, don't give up on her.  Get any help you can. 2 therapists told me to get my daughter out of the house, she hates you and may even hurt you.  I would not send her anywhere I didn't feel was going to help both of us together.  She was sent, several times to residential homes, can't remember how many, ran away from each one, as soon as she was picked up sent back to juvenile hall.  A probation officer I believe kept my child alive thru this, he kept on her tail over and over.  Went to her school several times a week, checked her attentance, grades etc that I was trying to stay on top of. He gave me the strength to stay strong, he help me keep her safe and out of harms way has much as we could.  One week after meeting my daughter, she told him about 4 boys who raped her.  He made sure they were arrested , we went to court, probation officer was there to give her the support she needed.  The boys(all juveniles) only got a few months away, but at least she got some satisfaction for what they had done to her.  Well the whole thing I want to say is, no matter how much she seems to hate you now, it will change.  My daughter and I are very close now and even thu she does not have the best life she could because of some of her choices I have always been there when she needed me.  Today she is 25, is raising a almost 6 yr old and 4 yr old by herself, Dad only is around when he feels like it, which hurts my older grandchild very much, but his mother has to keep asuring him that she will never leave him.  I am sure she won't, her mother never gave up on her.  stay strong mom, she does love you but can't say it now.   I feel for you .  Pat
 
June 19, 2008, 9:40 pm CDT

Alex come clean

Quote From: gingers1

On the show today, you look like I felt about a year ago.  I too had problems with my daughter.  I have no support system where I live and do not have a mother that I can rely on.  My daughter thought the most important people in her life were her friends, and boys.  She ran off, she ditched school for a month.    I called the police on her twice took her to Alternative centers.  One day I was in a meeting and received a phone call that my daughter was arrested for cocaine possession.  I was devistated but was able to keep her in jail for two additional days.  It broke my heart to see her in an orange jump suit and chains.  What I do want you to know Kim, is that in spite of all your best efforts sometimes it takes a little bit of maturity and a child's experience of a bad situation for them to realize that life with mom really is not that bad.  I can bet that one of the most difficult things is to tell yourself it is not your fault.  The good news is that I can tell you that I have never been so proud of my little girl and you too may one day be able to say that.  Stick to your guns tell her you love her but you cannot put yourself around such negativity.  There is too much stress and you have other children you have to take care of.   Stay strong say prayers - that helps.
All signs point to Alex being sexually abused at some time in her life. Where is her Father? Why has he not been mentioned? What has Alex been exposed to in the home? Despite all the mom has tried, I will give her credit for at least trying to put some sense into her life but when abuse is part of the equation teens go beserk in many areas and nothing seems to make sence to their family. AND, I am sure nothing makes sense to them either until they can admit it and work through it. God bless all efforts to assist these teens.
 
June 19, 2008, 10:43 pm CDT

$$$

A lot of people seemed to be concerned with the expense of helping Alex and her Mom.  I don't really understand why, they are exposing some very dirty secrets on national tv.  I guess I feel like she's earning it.  I would never want the country to know a single detail if this happened in my family and no amount of money would change that for me.  I appreciate the people that are willing to go on television and be that open because it gives a lot of others a chance to gain insite that will help with their own problems.  I'll be very honest now, I love my daughter and if she did these things I don't know if I could look at HER. I think the fact that her mom is still sitting there tells the real story of who she is.  I also believe because Alex still has her mother's love she'll certainly make it through this.  Would you rather put your tax dollars into raising Alex's kids or support shows like this where someone else foots the bill?
 
June 22, 2008, 8:38 am CDT

This Is a Family Problem

Sending Alex off for more rehab is a good start but not nearly enough. Kim needs some serious help, too. As I recall from the House episodes, she is more than a little lacking in parenting skills. I was struck on this follow-up show by her almost total lack of emotion and the revelations that she has given the show's staff a tough time even threatening to sue. If Alex returns home to an unchanged Kim she'll run away again. I also wonder, as others have commented, where the father is in all this.
 
June 28, 2008, 4:08 pm CDT

I hope everything worked out!

Hello, I remember when I was about Alex's age. My mother was stupid, and I also felt like I was in 'lockdown'. We fought daily, and when  I turned 18 all hell broke loose! I moved out of the house and moved in with my boyfriend and cut off all ties with my mother. I saw a little of me in Alex when I watched this show. I wanted nothing more than to be free and away from my mom. Now that I am older and a little wiser, I know now that my mom was doing what she could to protect me. I am now grateful for everythig that she did for me, and in some ways, I regret acting like I did. I had the same 'whatever' additude that Alex has now. I'm sure someday when she gets older, she'll look back at this time in her life and say 'What the heck was I thinking!?"

 
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