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Topic : 06/19 Finding Alex

Number of Replies: 187
New Messages This Week: 0
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Created on : Friday, November 02, 2007, 11:49:16 am
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 11/07/07) How do you get through to rebellious teens who think they are invincible? When Alex and her mother, Kim, last appeared on the show, Alex was an out-of-control 14-year-old who was using drugs, running away and prostituting herself to older men. The family, along with Kim’s sister-in-law, Enza, moved into The Dr. Phil House for an intervention. After attending a therapeutic academy, it seemed like the teen was on the road to recovery. But shortly after returning home to her mom, Alex was back to her bad behavior and having sex with strange men –- some of whom she met on Craigslist! She went on the lam again, and Dr. Phil recruited investigator Harold Copus to hit the streets of Seattle to find her. When Harold confronts the teen, Alex has a major meltdown, then comes clean about the risky behavior she engaged in while living on the streets. She admits to having unprotected sex with up to 50 men, so Dr. Phil has her examined for STDs and pregnancy. What will the tests reveal? Then, Alex refuses to return home to her mother. Will there ever be reconciliation, and will Alex be able to get her life back on track? Join the discussion.

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November 7, 2007, 1:38 pm CST

finding Alex

I can't get over this mother! If Alex was contacting men via My Space, why in God's name would you have a computer in her room , upon returning to the house after an 8 month stay at a residential facility? Not only that but why would you give her a cell phone that you know she is going to use to contact these men!!!

 

If you send someone to a facility for substance abuse, let's say alcohol, you don't have a big party with booze , when they come home!! duh

 

I think Kim is absolutely toxic to her daughter. Alex has so much potential, she's a beautiful girl with so much to offer. 

 

I've raised three children  and I've made many mistakes  but by the grace of God we made it through simular situations. They are now healthy adults.

 

I truely believe that Kim also needs help. There's a time and a season and I think this is a time that Kim will have to accept not having a relationship with Alex.

 

Alex has said that if she has to go home to mom she will run away again! Please listen to her, she is telling  everyone and someone needs to really start listening

 

Dr. Phil you are a great man, and very patient and humble man,. I watch you faithfully and have used many of your suggestions. I agree with you most of the time, but I think most of the problem in this story is Kim

 
November 7, 2007, 1:46 pm CST

Very Sad

I remember when 90% of those posting blamed the AUNT for all of Alex's problems. Hopefully you've realized that DEAR OL MOM ain't the mom she was cracked up to be! This has EVERYTHING to do with the mother who raised her and the father who was absent!

 

HOPEFULLY Dr. Phil will be able to help Alex. Sadly, I don't think Mom is aware yet (and may be never aware) that SHE is the root cause of her daughter's problems so she owes it to her daughter (and to herself) to get help. For the sake of this lost child, may the mother get help....NOW.

 
November 7, 2007, 1:50 pm CST

Admire Dr Phil

Dr Phil is an awfully big person to put more effort and resources into a person who has thrown them aside once before, especially after being threatened with a lawsuit for it.

 

This should be their last chance, though, I think.  At some point we must all live, or die, with our choices.

 
November 7, 2007, 1:51 pm CST

How unfortunate

All I can see is one very messed up kid who is completely out of control. It seems to be way beyond the Mom's ability to handle.I don't think it's all the Mom's fault. She may have done some things 'not right' but we never get a dang manual on how to raise a teenager. Especially one who is hell-bent on destruction! I wish them lots of luck and hope that it gets better.

 
November 7, 2007, 1:51 pm CST

Finding Alex

I'm surprised at the responses that believe the mother, Kim, is a big share of the problem.  I agree WHOLEHEARTEDLY!!  Has she ever changed her attitudes and lifestyle?  She was a terrible example and role model for Alex.  I hope Alex is able to get the longterm help she needs!!
 
November 7, 2007, 1:52 pm CST

Discipline and Broken Homes

Quote From: princessgina

I think that some of the teens of today need to be watched more closely. Because there are some many ways for them now a days for them to get in trouble. Part of the problem is lack of disaplain in the home. Too many broken homes these days.

Teens don't wake up one day and they're in trouble. They lead up to trouble for YEARS. The most important developmental/emotional phase in a child's life is age 0-3. These are the years that kids bond (or don't bond), learn empathy (or don't), learn to trust (or not), etc. Something went VERY wrong with Alex over the many years; she didn't jus turn out to want to sell her body and risk harming herself.

 

The mother-daughter dynamic is WAY OFF in this case and Mommy Dearest has some explaining to do. It's NO WONDER the loud-mouthed aunt was angry and concerned!!!

 

Discipline is very important, but discipline comes as a result of a great parent/child respectful, trusting, caring relationship. No child will listen to an aunt whom they do not respect! No child will listen to an adult they don't trust or an adult they don't think really cares about them. THIS is part of Alex's problem. It started at home and it will have to end at home (or in death). Let's hope the mother cares enough about Alex to get help for both of them!

 

You are 100% correct....as a high school teacher and former parole officer, broken homes IS a huge problem and it is responsible for many of today's problems facing our precious youth. Somewhere along the way, we adults became selfish, immature, irresponsible and stopped putting the needs of our children first!!!

 
November 7, 2007, 1:53 pm CST

Alex and her Mom

I agree the mom is ungrateful and definitely off in more ways than one.  She wants to be a teen herself from her looks, not a mom.  To even think about suing the Dr. Phil show is appalling and ungrateful.  Alex needs to wipe the smile off her face, and take this seriously.
 
November 7, 2007, 2:15 pm CST

11/07 Finding Alex

Quote From: jbnana0207

I can't get over this mother! If Alex was contacting men via My Space, why in God's name would you have a computer in her room , upon returning to the house after an 8 month stay at a residential facility? Not only that but why would you give her a cell phone that you know she is going to use to contact these men!!!

 

If you send someone to a facility for substance abuse, let's say alcohol, you don't have a big party with booze , when they come home!! duh

 

I think Kim is absolutely toxic to her daughter. Alex has so much potential, she's a beautiful girl with so much to offer. 

 

I've raised three children  and I've made many mistakes  but by the grace of God we made it through simular situations. They are now healthy adults.

 

I truely believe that Kim also needs help. There's a time and a season and I think this is a time that Kim will have to accept not having a relationship with Alex.

 

Alex has said that if she has to go home to mom she will run away again! Please listen to her, she is telling  everyone and someone needs to really start listening

 

Dr. Phil you are a great man, and very patient and humble man,. I watch you faithfully and have used many of your suggestions. I agree with you most of the time, but I think most of the problem in this story is Kim

I am the adoptive parent of three children with serious behavioral disorders.  Their birth mother was not an alcoholic but she drank when she was pregnant and as a result they have impulse control problems and do not form cause/effect relationships which means they do not relate the behavior to the consequence so they continue to repeat the same behaviors over and over again.  Our youngest child also has Reactive Attachment Disorder.  Kids with RAD are overly "familiar" with strangers because they do not truly bond with anyone so they do not develop boundaries.  A young girl who is capable of setting up meetings with men on the internet and then going to meet them for sex has serious attachment problems.  She also has a lack of impulse control and a failure to form cause/effect relationships.

 

It is extremely difficult to parent children like this.  For most families there are no supports  Not many families can afford "hundreds of dollars of resources" to place their children in intensive therapeutic residential settings.  I have worked in Residential Treatment Centers and I know that 8 months is not nearly enough time to change these types of behaviors.  For many kids with RAD there is no amount of time that is adequate but in any case she needs several years of intesive therapy in a secure setting. 

 

People who do not have children with serious behavioral problems are very quick to judge parents who do.  Sometimes it is because of a lack of bonding with parents because of environmental factors but some kids are born like this either for genetic reasons or because mom likes to have a few drinks on the weekend or a glass of wine with dinner even during pregnancy.  Most people do not realize that even just one drink a week will cause behavioral problems.  I find it infuriating that Dr. Phil never addresses this issue.  80% of kids in the justice system and on the streets have been prenatally exposed to alcohol.  People need to wake up to this fact.

 

Regardless of whether Alex was exposed to alcohol prenatally or not, her mother needs ongoing support if this kid is going to make any changes. Blame will not solve the problem.  Where was the support system in the two weeks the child was home after 8 months in the RTC? 

 
November 7, 2007, 2:19 pm CST

Ref: 11/7 Show....

I just finished watching the show and I am beside myself. I can't imagine what it would be like to have this type of situation staring me in the face everyday. Thanks to Dr. Phil, yet again, this young girl is being given another chance. I think both Alex and her mother need help....and unfortunately until they each get seperate help, they are not going to be able to function together. Alex is a very rebellious teen who feels that life owes her and her mother doesn't have the control over her that she needs. What amazed me is how Alex acted on stage....like this was no big deal. She had a smirk on her face, couldn't answer questios honestly, and seemed to blow everything off. I think the center where Dr. Phil has suggested she be sent to would be the best place for her. She needs structure, discipline, opportunity and people who are focused on her and creating a stable environment for her. She needs to get off the streets and stop selling herself short on life. There is so much out there.....maybe one day she will come up out of this depression she is in and find what she is really looking for.......HERSELF!!!  Thank You to Dr. Phil for all his time and dediction to this girl.....We need more people out there who care like he does!!
 
November 7, 2007, 2:23 pm CST

toxic parent child relationship

Alex needs to live in a healthy environment and that is not with her mom. Suggest Father Flanagan's Boys and Girls Town. (yes it exists). They can help the mom and the daughter. call hotline @ 1-800-448-3000. 

www.grilasandboystown.org

www.parenting.org

 

 

 

 
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