Topic : 06/19 Finding Alex

I missed the first show with Alex but I can't imagine preferring to be on the streets having sex with strange men and being beaten over being in a home and safe.  This leads me to believe that home is not a warm safe place to fall.  The Mom absolutely  can't andle the situation.  Alex is in denial and she has not hit bottom yet.  Hopefully this will help her.

 

I also hope the othergirl can get som help! L

I want to say to the mother Please don't give up on your daughter.  Your daughter needs you even if she doesn't show it. She's use to manipulating you because she's in a lot of pain. And her behavior just goes to show how immature she is. She's a beautiful girl. And my heart goes out to the both of you.  My daughter left home years ago and got into the same situation. And I never stopped looking for her, I never gave up on her. I was very fortunate to find her alive. And going through tough times like this I found out who my true friends were. And you'll find new friends who do care and understand. Keep a positive strong support system around you to help you in the days and months ahead. It's not over yet. There is some real work to be done in order for your daughter to realize how precious her life is. And mom take care of yourself. You need to take care of yourself in order to be there for your daughter. If you do have any type of addiction please address it and get help for yourself too. I'm sorry that you are going through such a difficult time in your life. But there  is light at the end of the tunnel.  Your daughter is in a safe place. And that right there is such a big relief. There are so many young people who fall into the same kind of things who aren't as fortunate as your daughter to receive the help Alex is getting. And especially to have a mother who loves her. Love will help you through this. I found that prayers do help and I had a lot of people praying for my daughter and me. It overwhelmed me with the letters, cards and e-mails I got from strangers who truly cared about our situation. You will have people who are going to have their negative opinions of you and your daughter. Just ignore them. Because they don't matter. Focus on the people who are praying for you and who care about you, whether or not you know them. I will keep you and your daughter in my prayers. From one mother to another, take care of yourself, sleep well, eat healthy and don't let others get you down. God love you and your daughter. Keep the Faith!   

Okay, so I just watched the program today where they captured Alex again...  But that is NOT my topic here...

 

During the show, it was learned that the MOM wanted to SUE the Dr Phil show for not caring, not putting forth enough interest, not being there for her child, etc !!!

 

What is this all about ???  And why didn't Dr Phil force her to address this when he confronted her ???  Ya, I know that "it's supposed to be ALL ABOUT ALEX" but give me a break here - WHAT IS WITH THIS MOTHER ???  And what is wrong with this mother that she would want to SUE the DR Phil show after then put in this much effort & money ???

 

Sometimes one has to wonder why a child runs away ???  Hmmmmmmmm ???

Two years ago our daughter (straight A student who was a 4 year French student,  took calculus and trig and AP English) suddenly did a complete turn around and  started not coming home.  On mother's day, she moved out of our house while we were away and left a note stating she had decided to move out and she would be fine.  She dropped out of high school with just 8 weeks to go to graduation.  We were beside ourselves with worry and hired a PI and took to the streets of Tacoma looking for her.  It turned out she was living with a pimp who she "loved".  We exhausted our time, money, and all other resources to find her.  We found out who the pimp was and did background searches on him.  He was an abuser with a record including transporting minors for prostitution.  He beat her badly and she was beaten and abused by the Johns.  It was so heartbreaking to see her prefer to stay with him.  Finally we were able to get his parole officer to have him picked up on a warrant, and the next day, after she was thrown out of a John's car, broken and bruised and her pimp in , she finally wanted to come home.  After she came home we sent her to a rehab facility and she did some backsliding after....it was a terrible time for our family and honestly, I do not know where we found the strength to get through it, except I knew one thing I would not do was give up on her.  Today...she is now working 2 jobs and going to school fulltime making a 3.9 gpa.  There is life after a hellish experience like this, and anyone CAN turn themselves around.  I wish peace and blessings for this family as they struggle to make it through this.

   I am so happy that you were able to find your daughter before it was too late. I missed finding mineby less than two hours and it cost her life. I agree with much of what you said but  feel there is much more to this story than Alex. I think Kim needs help also and the rest of the family too. You were blessed to have so much support. Most people do not have that, I know we were not as lucky. I wish you and your daughter the best of luck in the future. Stay strong and alot of your advice is great.

I am so sorry about the loss of your daughter.  I wish there was something I could say that would help, but I very much doubt that there are such words.  It is great that you are reaching out to help someone else avoid going through what you went through.

Well Its is very hard to cope with something like that, I am a single parent and have a daughter whos 16 almost 17. It has been very hard.  Just recently she wroye me a letter saying she was tired of me cause she says she is always with me.  Its that she has lost that trust that I had.  I am afraid she will do something bad.  Maybe I am doing wrong but as I was growing up I wish my mom was there for me and she was not so.  I guess I dont want to do what my mom did.  I would keep supporting her be patient someday when she has kids shell realize how hard it is to have and to raise them.

i feel the pain of alex mother and her child are going through.
i have been on this roller coaster ride since my daughter was 15. (she is now 19 and has left town)
she used MYSPACE and chat messages to meet with alot of men. Gosh you are right at how FAST these guys pounce on the opportunity to get theses with these kids. the police was of no help at all even she was 14 and a 19yo (she didnt know till at all... who knows he was prob really older) all they would do is report her as a runaway. the police would say, tell us when she returns so we can take her off the list. oh, and be sure to tell us when she runs away because I am responsible for any harm that my come to her!! the police here in orlando would not even pick up teens for truncy when they didnt go to school. one told me she needs a good beating but not to leave any marks! (she was over powering me at that time anyway - )
i could go on but she finally graduated from high school and took a placement test and recieved a full scholarship here at the community college (she is very intellegent but make bad life decisions).
she quit college after a couple weeks and took of to meet a boy she went to highschool with in virginia.
we talk on the phone and she seems happy.
i just pray she will go back to school eventually.
but for now she is happy and alive.
like dr phil said... we just have to keep on trying.
we are all they have. she is my heart!!
Good luck to alex, i personally think these girls are trying fill a big void from not having an active male role model in their lives. most men really dont have a clue what an impression what kind of support and communication their daughters need. and these girls will be looking for something to fill that void.
Instant communication throught the internet is hard for a parent to compete with....
good luck to alex and all the young women trying to find there way in this world.
keep trying, someday they will understand!
keep loving and communicating hopefully some will sink in! good luck!

I was stunned to  hear Dr. Phil say that he was threatened by this woman to find her daughter.  I think that speaks volumes for the type of person that mom is.  Talk about unreasonable.  Cuckoo- Cuckoo!!

So giving the benifit of doubt here,

Was Alex under the control of her "Pimp" during her stay at the Dr. Phil House and at the rehab centre ? I don't remember if that was addressed.  Pimps are much like abusive husbands, they control through fear and intimidation, and generally the girls are much younger, easier to brainwash them with promises of money, and the "Glamorous Life ".  If the girls are assaulted by their Pimp or their John, what recourse do they really have ? Press charges, sure and they get charged with soliciting, it a vicious life.  Oh, and her "BOYFRIEND" that she was in "LOVE" with, was probably her pimp, it isn't uncommon .  Was she or her family being threatened if she didn't comply with running away with him, Alex was definitly hiding SOMETHING from the Doc and everyone else, at this point nothing short of chaining her to the wall though will keep her from running away, that was my impression anyway, I also had the impression near the end, she was already trying to figure out a way to run BEFORE she had to go away again, the wheels were turning.

As for Mom, okay you ran to ENZA, remember the woman you hated the last time, threatening to sue the show because there was no miricle cure ?  I'm not the eternal optimist the Doc is, it took fifteen years for the girl to get this way, it won't happen overnight, no matter how much "Commado Parenting" you do, look you can't decide after fourteen years of the child raising herself, that suddenly you want to parent and the child will happily comply with your wishes (can I get an AMEN from parents of teens) hell, even parenting them from BIRTH, teens are not  known for their happy compliance with rules being foisted on them.  The big thing is, you did NOT earn her RESPECT  and TRUST as a child, so now at fifteen she's not going to suddenly wake up and say, "Oh Mom, I've suddenly discovered that I will just give you my everlasting trust and respect from now on ", it dosen't work that way, so what now ? If this opportunity dosen't give you the "MIRICLE" you are seeking, will you hire a lawyer at that point ? Or maybe will you take a harder look at yourself ?  I didn't really get an impression of Mom doing much to further the situation, did she quit drinking all together ?  I'm not sure that was adressed.

I do hope that this opportunity isn't wasted on her, I really do NOT belive any kid is a hopeless cause, and one day I hope she has the chance to thank Theresa for turning her over, and getting her out of that life, even if  temporarily, and in this case I really hope I eat those words.