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Topic : 06/02 Banned From the Wedding

Number of Replies: 2261
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Created on : Friday, November 02, 2007, 11:50:57 am
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 11/08/07) A bride-to-be takes on her future mother-in-law in an ugly feud that has torn a family apart. The wedding day is fast approaching and the best man has resigned, the aunt has disowned the groom, and the wedding planner is on alert to call the police if the mother-in-law shows up -- which she’s threatened to do! Michelle says she cannot stand her future mother-in-law, Jane, whom she thinks has a sick and inappropriate relationship with her son, Jay. Jane thinks Michelle is a cold-hearted “you know what” who has stolen her only son. She says unless they hire a hit man, they can’t stop her from being at the wedding. Jay stands by his fiancée, which is why his whole family is saying they won’t attend the wedding. Has Michelle manipulated Jay? What happens when the mother of the bride and the soon-to-be mother-in-law come face to face for the first time in four months? Can Dr. Phil cut through the drama and heal this family feud? Tell us what you think.

Find out what happened on the show.

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November 3, 2007, 7:18 am CDT

This is my family!!!

My was suppose to be future mother in law dis owned her grandkids and called me slut trash and that she can't excuse the kids being bastard children...... 1 month from our wedding!!!  The wedding is cancelled and we are in thearpy.  He hit me after I called his mother an ignorant redneck which obviously she is after all the things she did and he hit me because of it.  therefore counseling counseling counseling but I don't htink it is working but this story is for sure ment to be ours!!!  this is crazy!  Wish Dr Phil could bring some calmness in our life :(  Much needed.  I am so miserable in life I can only imagine what they are going through.
 
November 3, 2007, 9:05 am CDT

Bride is not nice

I really don't understand this bride.  She's already started a huge feud with the guy's mom.  He's a coward and why does this mom even want to have anything to do with him.  If my son sided with a girl against me in such a horrible manner, I'd disown him.  He's NOT A SON.  Both of these punks need to go back and read the commandments.  In this day in age, I think everyone better do that.  In any case, in this situation they both need to remember to HONOR THY MOTHER AND THY FATHER.  There might be something to that.  

This girl is a trouble maker and if she's already causing a war....good luck to the worm that marries her. 

This means the poor children these two might have will never know their grandmother.  It's disgusting for this girl to behave this way.  Good luck, Dr. Phil.  Sounds like you'll need it.

 
November 3, 2007, 9:18 am CDT

Doctor Phil Show

Banned Doctor From Phil The Wedding. That is new one on me. I hope that wedding will go on as  usaly.--

See you on Thursday November 08th. 2007. Sincerley Your. Russell Vlaanderen.-----------------------------------

 
November 3, 2007, 9:40 am CDT

Four Alarm Fire!

There is a great deal of anger in the dynamics of the proposed wedding of Jay and Michelle - for now, the wedding should be cancelled and the couple should attempt a six month hiatus without contact or communication.  A lifetime is a long time and the six month trade a small price to pay for "forever after". 

 

It occurs to me that the people in this scenario are in states of arrested development - they do not have the skills to negogiate a settlement in this matter, and choose to look only at  vindictive options; a common trait for children under the age of twelve. 

 

Were I the prospective mother-in-law in this situation, I would be devastated to learn that my son would allow this treatment of me.  Further, I would be heartbroken to consider that he would spend the rest of his life with such a shallow and apparently vindictive person.  I would grieve for the happiness of knowing and loving grandchildren, because I would realize that the ripple effect of this mindset would contanimate everything, and there would be nothing I could do to alleviate it. 

 

Were I the prospective bride, I might be thrilled to think I would have that kind of power over my fiancee; however, given the blessing of insight, I might be terrified to learn that my husband would be such a spineless jellyfish - might he forsake me in the same manner in the future?  Or worse yet, might he forsake our children when the going gets tough?  

 

Were I the prospective groom, I might be thinking that I am doing the right thing for the time being, but at the same time I might be repelled at the selfishness of the woman I plan to marry.  I might wonder at her narcissism, and how it would effect our life together and the lives of our children.  I might be thinking for the present that I can "fix" the in-law problem at a later date (after all, hasn't Mom always backed my plate?), but I really need someone to tell me that I can never unring the bell; that even if it resolves in some manner in the future, I would have failed everyone concerned, even the unborn. 

 

When the going gets tough, the tough get going - the sissies flunk out!  Sadly, often they (the sissies) don't have the maturity to recognize their failures or even consider them.  There is no reality but their own, nothing important but themselves.  Ultimately, they wind up alone. 

 
November 3, 2007, 12:04 pm CDT

run bride run

1. you identified a "sick "relationship bet mother/son...  well guess what hubby to be is the other half of the sick relationship

2. family is lifelong, this isn't going anywhere.........

 
November 3, 2007, 12:49 pm CDT

Banned

 You know with the divorce rate over 50% you would think the son would want to have his family around to support him when his marriage goes south,  that being said what son, would side with his wife to be to have his mother banned from the wedding and just not say anything, and the rest of his family vetoing the wedding. and the best man saying "goodbye" what in the heck is he blind to all the redflags that she is showing now.

I wonder what will wake him up to the fact that his wife to be in not a nice person,  I can not wait to see this show.
 
November 3, 2007, 2:09 pm CDT

11/08 Banned From the Wedding

There is an approximate 50% divorce rate in this country, but last time I checked you only get one mother!This union is already toxic, should there be children what message arethese nitwit sending to those innocents!?  Suck it up.
 
November 3, 2007, 2:32 pm CDT

11/08 Banned From the Wedding

Quote From: gooseylucy

There is a great deal of anger in the dynamics of the proposed wedding of Jay and Michelle - for now, the wedding should be cancelled and the couple should attempt a six month hiatus without contact or communication.  A lifetime is a long time and the six month trade a small price to pay for "forever after". 

 

It occurs to me that the people in this scenario are in states of arrested development - they do not have the skills to negogiate a settlement in this matter, and choose to look only at  vindictive options; a common trait for children under the age of twelve. 

 

Were I the prospective mother-in-law in this situation, I would be devastated to learn that my son would allow this treatment of me.  Further, I would be heartbroken to consider that he would spend the rest of his life with such a shallow and apparently vindictive person.  I would grieve for the happiness of knowing and loving grandchildren, because I would realize that the ripple effect of this mindset would contanimate everything, and there would be nothing I could do to alleviate it. 

 

Were I the prospective bride, I might be thrilled to think I would have that kind of power over my fiancee; however, given the blessing of insight, I might be terrified to learn that my husband would be such a spineless jellyfish - might he forsake me in the same manner in the future?  Or worse yet, might he forsake our children when the going gets tough?  

 

Were I the prospective groom, I might be thinking that I am doing the right thing for the time being, but at the same time I might be repelled at the selfishness of the woman I plan to marry.  I might wonder at her narcissism, and how it would effect our life together and the lives of our children.  I might be thinking for the present that I can "fix" the in-law problem at a later date (after all, hasn't Mom always backed my plate?), but I really need someone to tell me that I can never unring the bell; that even if it resolves in some manner in the future, I would have failed everyone concerned, even the unborn. 

 

When the going gets tough, the tough get going - the sissies flunk out!  Sadly, often they (the sissies) don't have the maturity to recognize their failures or even consider them.  There is no reality but their own, nothing important but themselves.  Ultimately, they wind up alone. 

I am having the same problem with my son and dil and you managed to write exactly how I am feeling. I am heartbroken and all of the above that you mentioned.
 
November 3, 2007, 2:47 pm CDT

We DON"T KNOW ALL THE ISSUES Here

Quote From: bullroar

I really don't understand this bride.  She's already started a huge feud with the guy's mom.  He's a coward and why does this mom even want to have anything to do with him.  If my son sided with a girl against me in such a horrible manner, I'd disown him.  He's NOT A SON.  Both of these punks need to go back and read the commandments.  In this day in age, I think everyone better do that.  In any case, in this situation they both need to remember to HONOR THY MOTHER AND THY FATHER.  There might be something to that.  

This girl is a trouble maker and if she's already causing a war....good luck to the worm that marries her. 

This means the poor children these two might have will never know their grandmother.  It's disgusting for this girl to behave this way.  Good luck, Dr. Phil.  Sounds like you'll need it.

We don't know all the issues involved so I was suprised you said honor mother & father. I had similar problems with my inlaws as a matter of fact on our wedding day my father in law told me he would give it a yr.(been 27 yrs now)  When the bible states HONOR your MOTHER & FATher  it doesn't mean when they are being nasty to you to take their side. Families have issues. One point in our life We wouldn't let my inlaws see the kids because they did nothing but talk bad about us to everyone. So sometimes you just can't HONOR THEM at the moment. Families have to work the issues out. Life isn't perfect. As long as there are families there will be issues.
 
November 3, 2007, 7:22 pm CDT

11/08 Banned From the Wedding

Quote From: memaw03

We don't know all the issues involved so I was suprised you said honor mother & father. I had similar problems with my inlaws as a matter of fact on our wedding day my father in law told me he would give it a yr.(been 27 yrs now)  When the bible states HONOR your MOTHER & FATher  it doesn't mean when they are being nasty to you to take their side. Families have issues. One point in our life We wouldn't let my inlaws see the kids because they did nothing but talk bad about us to everyone. So sometimes you just can't HONOR THEM at the moment. Families have to work the issues out. Life isn't perfect. As long as there are families there will be issues.

It strikes me that all of the people in this group are power happy and are only concerned with being on top. Besting each other is not an intelligent thing to do. They most likely all deserve each other.

My family was not totally happy with my getting married at only 21, but we are still at it after 43 years and horrendious medical problems and it is not over yet.  These people need a life. If Dr. Phil helps their relationship I still have to wonder as to how the children will turn out 25 years from now.

 
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