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Topic : 06/02 Banned From the Wedding

Number of Replies: 2261
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Created on : Friday, November 02, 2007, 11:50:57 am
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 11/08/07) A bride-to-be takes on her future mother-in-law in an ugly feud that has torn a family apart. The wedding day is fast approaching and the best man has resigned, the aunt has disowned the groom, and the wedding planner is on alert to call the police if the mother-in-law shows up -- which she’s threatened to do! Michelle says she cannot stand her future mother-in-law, Jane, whom she thinks has a sick and inappropriate relationship with her son, Jay. Jane thinks Michelle is a cold-hearted “you know what” who has stolen her only son. She says unless they hire a hit man, they can’t stop her from being at the wedding. Jay stands by his fiancée, which is why his whole family is saying they won’t attend the wedding. Has Michelle manipulated Jay? What happens when the mother of the bride and the soon-to-be mother-in-law come face to face for the first time in four months? Can Dr. Phil cut through the drama and heal this family feud? Tell us what you think.

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November 3, 2007, 8:08 pm CDT

GET OUT BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE!!!

My advice is for her to get OUT now before the wedding even occurs.  You cannot be in a HAPPY marriage th this man, until his mother is DEAD, as he will always take her side.  Believe me, I know. The first 20 years of our marriage was hell because of his mother.  She told me on her deathbed that she has always hated me, but him and his brother and father said I HEARD HER WRONG.  Bull$hit. They couldn't believe she said it, and even from her deathbed, they still favored HER side.Get out NOW before it's too late.
 
November 3, 2007, 8:26 pm CDT

What do we know????

Quote From: memaw03

We don't know all the issues involved so I was suprised you said honor mother & father. I had similar problems with my inlaws as a matter of fact on our wedding day my father in law told me he would give it a yr.(been 27 yrs now)  When the bible states HONOR your MOTHER & FATher  it doesn't mean when they are being nasty to you to take their side. Families have issues. One point in our life We wouldn't let my inlaws see the kids because they did nothing but talk bad about us to everyone. So sometimes you just can't HONOR THEM at the moment. Families have to work the issues out. Life isn't perfect. As long as there are families there will be issues.

I completely agree with you .....it seems to me that everyone on this board has been very quick to judge people they don't even know based on one paragraph. 

 

Who are we to say that the bride to be is the one wrong in this situation?

Who are we to say that the groom to be is spineless and is just listening to his fiance?

Who are we to say that the relationship between the groom to be and his mother was perfect before the bride came along?

 

It really seems that in life people are very quick to judge and this is the perfect example.  I can't believe how narrow minded people could be.  Why is the mother in law right in this situation??? Just because she is the mother?  I know a lot of mothers who are the immature ones in the family.   I think it is very judgmental to tell this couple that their marriage is not going to last.  Who are you to tell anyone that.  What a hurtful thing to say to someone. 

 

Families...... none the less.....no one is perfect so lets try and put ourselves in the couples situation.  Would you want family at your wedding that didn't want to be there or would you want the people that are happy for you and support the both of you at your wedding.  If the grooms family doesn't support who he is marrying why should they be there.  Would you like to look out in the audience and see guests that hate you or that called you a cold hearted #@$%.  I know I wouldn't . 

 

Plus isn't life about love.  Are you not suppose to grow up.... fall in love.....and get married.  Why would the mother say the bride to be took her son away.  She needs to realize that her son is a grown man about to get married and that she has to let go.  She should have faith in how she raised him and have faith that  if this woman makes her son happy then she should be happy for him.  She doesn't have to agree with everything that he does but she should support him and love him no matter what because he is her son. 

 

Lastly why is there the question "Has Michelle manipulated Jay?"  Why does it have to be that she manipulated him?????  I don't get it.  I wish the couple the best of luck ...... and I hope everything works out for them with or without the mother.  Life has to go on.

 
November 3, 2007, 11:27 pm CDT

Banned from the Wedding

Quote From: memaw03

We don't know all the issues involved so I was suprised you said honor mother & father. I had similar problems with my inlaws as a matter of fact on our wedding day my father in law told me he would give it a yr.(been 27 yrs now)  When the bible states HONOR your MOTHER & FATher  it doesn't mean when they are being nasty to you to take their side. Families have issues. One point in our life We wouldn't let my inlaws see the kids because they did nothing but talk bad about us to everyone. So sometimes you just can't HONOR THEM at the moment. Families have to work the issues out. Life isn't perfect. As long as there are families there will be issues.
My husband and I were married 4 years ago and it could have turned into the wedding from hell.  We invited only close family members and they had a choice to attend or not.  The wedding was held on a beautiful fall day on a gazeebo facing the Mississippi River. It was a beautiful ceremony and everyone had a good time.   WE were told to expect his exwife would show up and attempt to ruin our day.  I had made my mind up that if she tried to ruiin the wedding it would not work because I would not let anyone or anything to destroy the most joyous days of our lives.  His ex did show up w-but ws immediaately told to ge ovr the issue - you  were not invited for a  reason it is no concern of yours so leave now before we have security remove you.  Things have improved for the most part.  The eldest daughter only calls when she wants money or sympathy for doing something really stupid.   The money is not forthcomming so she does not want to talk to us.  The younger two seem to be finally getting their life together - believe you me I am keeping my fingers crossed.  Well I am getting tired  - watched way too much footbaoo today.  Later gang
 
November 3, 2007, 11:41 pm CDT

11/08 Banned From the Wedding

Quote From: bullroar

I really don't understand this bride.  She's already started a huge feud with the guy's mom.  He's a coward and why does this mom even want to have anything to do with him.  If my son sided with a girl against me in such a horrible manner, I'd disown him.  He's NOT A SON.  Both of these punks need to go back and read the commandments.  In this day in age, I think everyone better do that.  In any case, in this situation they both need to remember to HONOR THY MOTHER AND THY FATHER.  There might be something to that.  

This girl is a trouble maker and if she's already causing a war....good luck to the worm that marries her. 

This means the poor children these two might have will never know their grandmother.  It's disgusting for this girl to behave this way.  Good luck, Dr. Phil.  Sounds like you'll need it.

There has not been a mention of what caused the hatred.  Is the Mother in law dictating how the wedding is going to be?  The bride and groom may have opted for a quiet affair with a few close friends and then had a large reception planned.  The families need to accept the day is about the bride and groom and what they want.  No one else's wants or desires are part of the picutre unless those issues are dealt with in a very deilcate manner.   Oferring to assist is wonderful - just be sure you are assisting the way the bride and grom want assistanace.  Otherwise be content to be part of the spectators and just enjoy the wedding.
 
November 4, 2007, 12:47 am CDT

Wait a minute?

I thought this show hasn't been televised yet?

 

It seems that you all know a lot before you've even seen the show!

 
November 4, 2007, 7:23 am CST

Banned from Wedding

Dr. Phil,

If you side with this girl on her Mother in Law not going to the wedding but also not being a part of both their lives now and from the wedding day forward, I would have to wonder where your mind had gone.

This is not a good relationship if the girl has problems with her boyfriends Mother they should have broken up long ago. The guy has to know she will control his life on all aspects if he does not stand up for himself and his family.

 
November 4, 2007, 7:37 am CST

Motherinlaws

Hi all: i have been in a terribly abusive motherinalw situation since i was married. I am a decent individual from anice fmaily. Husbands mother has been verbally and possesive of him and me, but mostly me from taking her son from her 8 yrs ago. I have been in theraoy and it has beena  nightmare,  husband has left me many times to return to the errate mother and was led off by her to leave me. Its not alays the daughterinlaw s fault, in respect to this issue w this lady we don;t know all the facts behind it either.  There is always two sides . But i am sure she is wrong too. Its very tricky when you have children . Its the sons job to make sure that the kids see grandmother, not just women, in quiestion. I saw first hand my mother abused by my dad s mom and she held money over his head to make him under her control. It s all wrong. But in my case not that anyone s interested ..at all, nor me anymore  really, it has almost ended our marriage. MY husband has beeged his mother to be nice. Its not me , as in some cases, she doesn;t want him w anyone but her a sthey always were togehter alone. This is a very very horrible situation if you live it. We may still be divorced at some poiunt over it, she is old but not going anywhere and even now at holiday time she wants him at her home but not his wife. There are some very meddling  mominlaws , out there, and the kids are the one sthat pay price, I know. Peace toall, 
 
November 4, 2007, 8:04 am CST

what the.....

heck ? you people are going on about their future children. you dont even know these people and you're casting judgements.

shame on all of you.

for all we know, the mother is overbearing and controlling and the future wife is sweet and loving, and will be a wonderful mother..

i hope no one ever judges you like that without ever knowing anything about you.

think about it before you put people dow.

 
November 4, 2007, 8:52 am CST

Kids banned from ex husbands wedding

My three daughtes are banned from their fathers wedding on Novemr 24, 2007.  His new wife to be doesn't like our girls and don't want them at their wedding.  My youngest who is 7 thought she was going to be the flower girl in his wedding only to find out their two dogs are the flower and ring bearer.  She came home and cried because her dad doesn't want her in his wedding.  My older two daughers 17 and 13 don't care and they don't like who he is marrying and I think deep down inside they are hurt by not bein invited also.

 

I know that he doesn't have the morals to stand up to  her and invite his girls or even have them in his wedding.  He hasn't even seen the girls or talked with them since July.

 

Michelle

 
November 4, 2007, 9:18 am CST

It's not the mother's day

     My thought is this, the wedding's for the bride and grom, right? it's not the mother's good day and if she's been causing problem's then maybe she shouldn't go. There has to be more to the story than she just dosent want her to go. Maybe the family should respect what she want's on her day. They dont have to agree but should sapport what ever chose that is made.  The mother's whole they'd have to hire a hit man is very childish and she should know that if she's not invited it's rude to show up.  doctor Phil I hope that you  tell them that no matter what it's up to the husband and wife to chose who goes to "the" wedding.  my husband didnt want his family to go but he invited them so we would miss all of this drama that this family's going thro. I fully think that when the list is made for a wedding and ur not on it then dont crash the wedding.
 
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