Topic : 06/02 Banned From the Wedding

What could the Groom possibly do that they cant show his face? James Bond? No but seriously.. Some kind of goverment job?

I am very surprised at the way Dr. Phil handled this episode.  I have been watching you for quite sometime, and you have been for the most part pretty good at judging character.  But this episode, Michelle pulled one over on you just as she has with her fiance.  Jay the only comment I have for you is you should be ashamed of yourself...that is your MOTHER....right or wrong.....as a mother our children are never always right and they don't always do the right thing but NO MATTER WHAT, they are our children and we love them unconditionally.  You only get ONE mother, you can always change your wife.  With Jay being the ONLY child I can see where this mother may be overly involved, does that mean it is inappropriate....NO.....she gets one shot, that is it, do I condone what she said and did NO.....Michelle seems spoiled, selfish, and manipulative.  She has caused this "family feud" and Jay is going to be the one to wake up one day and wonder what happened to his family, how could you deny a mother who has ONE child the ability to have a relationship with the only chance of grandkids that she has, that was alone horrible!!!......could all of Jay's family have been wrong?  Dr Phil you also have a tendency to make comments about people that is not at all how it is perceived.....not everyone goes by the books you write, and lives don't go in a step program.....they are all different!!!!!  I do hope that Jay can stand up and say to his "soon to be", "no matter how you feel about my mom, that is my mom and I love her".......good luck and god bless...

I am a 50 year old mother of an only son. He is engaged to be married and his fiance told him that she cannot compete with me as far as love goes. She feels that my son loves me more and I have tried so hard to convince her that we take our love from different accounts in life. My son and I have always been close, but not anything one would call overly close. He is my only child so I want the best for him as all mothers do.

She is 21 and he is 26. He has made it very clear to her that if it comes to picking me or her, he will have to choose me only because I brought him into this world. She would not even have him if it were not for me giving birth to him ( his words).

I was wondering if there were any tips that I can do as a future mother-in-law which would make his fiance come to know that my son can love both of us at the same time, but in different ways.

I know my son well enough to know that he will not marry her if she does not love me.

The sad part is ....they do so well together but I seem to be a thorn in her side due to my son showing me his love.

any suggestions????

 

Sad in Oklahoma :(

Why was his face blocked out?

i can see both sides of this, and am sure both sides have contributed to the mess...but i was in a relationship with a man who had a controlling family.  i didn't realize how controlling until after we were married.  it only lasted a year and i'm devistated.  his family (mostly the mother) did not let him go.  family is important, but in a marriage it's two people that have to make it work.  my man didn't stick up for me when his family ripped me appart and started all sorts of nasty rumors.  he cried and said that he would not hurt me anymore through his family and left me.  would have been nice to have him stick up for me like jay did in this show.  at least the soon to be married couple appear to be committed to one another and through thick & thin, will stick up for eachother.  it is a shame his mother's actions are ultimately pushing his son away.  a man needs to support, love and protect his wife...even if it's the mother that is doing the attacking.  either way, this is a sad situation and i wish the couple the best.  hopefully the mother can grow into her new role and be proud that she raised a son that is a supportive and loving husband. 

ok you are a mother-in-law and see her point of view.  I could really use some outside advice on how I should handle my mother-in-law.  Could you chat?

i think dr. phil should have pointed out more what a spiteful girlfriend that poor boy is marrying. eventually the only 'testicles' he'll have are the rubber ones rednecks buy to hang from the back of thier trucks! maybe the mom should learn to kill her with kindness but i don't think theres anything to change that brat. maybe dr. phil should replay the tape and note the girls expressions. thank you very much. marj ladnier

 

I have to laugh.  This is a classic example of the son choosing a wife who has many of the same character traits of his mother!! 

 

I only realize that I'm a lot like my ex-mother-in-law now that I'm older and have gone through mid-life stuff. I think that I understand a lot more about the behavior of my ex-mother-in-law now that I'm older.

 

The MAIN POINT IS:  the bride-to-be and the mother of the groom are VERY SIMILAR IN PERSONALITY.

 

this is the CRUX of the matter and the complete chuckle of the matter.  THEY are two-of-a kind!!!

 

 

 My oldest of two sons married a woman like the one on the show.  She wanted nothing to do with his family - family was not invited to the wedding.  It was hard for him because he had always been close to me and to rest of his family - but he was in love and caught in the middle.  His desire to please his new love took priority for him - and that's normal.   nnnnn

We left them alone.  I didn't meet my first grandchild until she was 2 years old - I missed my son horribly but felt he had chosen his path and I didn't want to interfere or make things worse.  My son would visit by himself on occasional weekends and I was careful never to criticize his wife or his absence except to tell him I loved him and missed him.

My son was like a different person because of the judgmental nature of his wife.  Her possessiveness expanded after the marriage and she alienated many of his friends and co-workers.   It was his choice to make and keeping our distance from them was preferable to open warfare.  Words said in anger can't be recalled and are hard to forget.

After six years, he'd had enough and divorced her.  He is now again the wonderful, ful-loving person he used to be growing up.  His second marriage 11 years ago was to a woman who is totally loving both to him and to his family and her own. 

It's an insecure person who cannot accept her husband loving others as well as herself or understanding the relationship between a mother and her son.  It's a silly mother who tries to insert herself between her son and his intended wife or who feels she can make judgments on his life.

I found the son on the program rather weak and ineffectual.  He clearly has abdicated all control to his fiance - and I doubt that will be a long term marriage.  The control issue may start with her mother-in-law - but won't stop there.

I'd advise the mother to back off - not open any emails or read them - and wait it out.  The problem with the various right-fighters on this program is that they are all wrong.

It's obvious that this bride to be is jealous. I don't understand why Dr. Phil hasn't figured her out yet. She can sit there all innocent with here big blue eyes and goldie locks, but I can tell that she is an instigator and a mulipulator. I thought Dr. phil would have seen this right off. Don't get me wrong, the soon to be mother-in-law is no angle either. I have never been on here or any other talk show sight before and this made me feel very uneasy. This goes to show you that I feel very strong about this one.