Topic : General Advice

My son is in 2nd Grade. Nothing major has happened to him in the last 3 years other than starting school. He has been a problem at school on a regular basis. Hitting, name calling, and bad mouthing teachers is the main problem. Just a lack of respect for school in general. At home he is a relatively normal 7 year old. He occasionally whines about having to take a bath, and the only time he is unruly is when he has been unruly at school. I wouldn't say he is a bully. Most of his behavior towards other students seems to be provoiked by a situation in which (I think) he feels defensive. I may sound like a nieve mom, but I think other kids provoke him, and he seems to be the one that gets into trouble. It's not just this year. In the 3rd week of Kindergarten he allegedly told a girl he was going to chop her leg off with a chainsaw. This was after a weekend with his dad chopping tree limbs with a chainsaw and being interested in his father's kevlar pants. When I asked the teacher if she confronted the two children at the same time, she replied no that their policy was to call the police when there was an act of violence at the school, but they were going to wave it since it was his first offense. This is a 5 year old for crying out loud. And things escalated from there. It seems like this school district and the teachers there-in don't have time to discipline the kids the way they should in the beginning. I don't know how to correct his behavior at school because I am not at school to witness the incident. I can only talk to him about his choices and ask him what the consequenses are. He fully understands them at home, but he has no comprehension at school. His discipline isn't consistant at school. I just wish I had a camera planted on him to see what is going on. Also, his bus behavior is crazy too. He sits right behind the driver and yet he still gets in trouble for hitting, name calling and general harrassment of other students. It's 20 mins max from school.  How does one get in trouble sitting behind the bus driver? I am outta answers. I've read numerous books on child behavior and parenting. I have watched Super Nanny, and Nanny 911. We have been to 3 months of Family counseling. Nothing is pointing to our son as being ADHD or Bi-polar. No one has offered us any info or answers. I need help. Any contact would be appreciated through email  jenniferhamilton@att.net

My son has just started kindergarden this month and he has already seemed to mess up. monday the 11th he threatened to cut a boys head with scissors, the 18th he threw paper in the class, ran in the class, wrote on the desk, hit a girl twice and played in the bathroom. then the 27th today he poke a boy in the eye...on purpse. I have done the take tv time away, made him stay in his room and made him do sentences for his crimes. In general these would be minor situations but these issues are too consistant. And Im starting to get scared. He is my first child so I am new at this whole thing. I try and get advice from friends and family either their kids havent acted like this or they say ok now spank him.  I am a believe on spanking but I dont think in this case that spanking is necessary because I think that if spanking is going to work it needs to be done right then and there, not 8 hrs later. Granit he knows what he did was wrong but he is getting the wrong impression that I did bad at school but what if he has been good the rest of the time since he got in trouble it will confuse him.

I am sure alot of the reason is he doesnt have his own space he has to deal with 5 other kids.  Which isnt fair but right now I live paycheck to paycheck. I am trying to save up some money so we can get a place of our own but it seems that its going to be awhile.  

Please help me with my son.

I have been going through the same thing with my 5 yr old.  he did the same thing the second wk of school he told a kid that he was going to cut his head off with scissors. Although I didnt not ask the teacher is she confronted both kids at the same time. Then he had it bad the next monday where he was throwing stuff, writting on stuff and hitting a girl twice, and then this last one he poke a aboy in the eye and was sent to the principals office where i then got the call, i dont know what to do either. I have done the taking things away, kept him in his rm and made him write sentences. I dont know what more to do. He is very mouthy to me, not so much with the teachers. He was awesome in preschool, he was the helper.

i am lost in what to do. He is my first so I dont even know what is the next step.

It might sound mean or degrading but take him around to other salons and because he is a boy get him around a salon with women and what ever lady he connects with try and let her cut his hair. Have him hold the clippers while they are on. I think that its about where and who he feels comfortable with cutting his hair, then he will soon be able to trust that they wont hurt him. I had taken my son to the navy base and never again they didnt care that they were hurtung him he has left the shop with scratches all over his head. Soon I found a salon that he enjoys going to and there is not bribbing needed. I say lets go get a hair cut and there are times he reminds me "mommy I need a hair cut".

I have a 3 year old that drives me up a wall. The biggest problem I am having right now is that he will not go to bed, quietly..I tell him "Time for bed." and the fights on.. He drops to the floor screams, wails and refuses to go to bed..I put him in bed and he gets up, turns on the light, throws toys and yells and screams.. I am losing it with him a little more every night..We have tried to lay with him, he just screams. We have tried timeout, spankings, quietly talking, yelling, and asking nicely and forcfully...Nothing seems to work..Any Suggestions?

Thanks

During the day, ask him "tonite before bed time, what can mommy or daddy do that will help you go to bed?" give him suggestions: story, lay 10 min with him, cuddle and watch 15 min of t.v. ect...

Don't just say o.k. bedtime and go to bed, warn him in advance "30 min to bed, 15 min to bed 10 min to bed, 5 min to bed, o.k bedtime, what would you like?" try it for 2 weeks consistante the same exacte thing every night same voice same tone no yelling!

If that doesn't work do commando parenting (i'm going dr.phill on you!) Take everything out of his bedroom, just keep bed, pillow and blanket, even unscrew the light bulb out if you have to, put a lock on the door and bed time! It won't take one day to do this  and it won't work in one day either give it some time! the secret is no yelling and tell him that you understand his pain! (I did this trick with my younger boy when he was 3 and I only did it half the night, he is now 41/2 and has not gotten out of bed ever since, I kept the hook on the door as a reminder)!

You might feel like crap, but when it works you'll feel good! (I did say "when" it works) cause it will work! Be PATIENT,  LOVING AND UNDERSTANDING!

Keep me posted, and if you need support cause you're gonna go nuts (it wil happen) just write!