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Topic : General Advice

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Created on : Thursday, July 07, 2005, 12:00:07 pm
Author : dataimport
Share advice and support with other parents of pre-schoolers and school age kids.

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jaimie1974
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September 11, 2007, 12:14 pm PDT

poopy panties

Quote From: wanabprincez

I am searching for some help, my 6 yr old has alot of poop in her panties several times a week, she is in 1st grade, and i am worried about her being teased at school, it has only happened at school a few times, and I have had to go to the school and clean her up.  My x husband phoned me over his last w/e visit with her, and he was very upset about this situation, He has went as far as making her clean her dirty undies, I don't agree with that, he forces her to sit on the potty and poop, when she doesn't she tells me she is in big trouble, Myself I don't make a big deal of it, I talk to her, and explain to her that i know she isn't doing it on purpose.  I would be thankful for any suggestions.  I am worried that the way my x is handling it I am afraid he is making the situation worse.  But as usual like most x's I think, don't listen to you,
You are right; your ex IS making the situation worse. My advice to you is to make an appt. with your child’s dr. to find out if she has digestive issues or some other medical issue that would contribute to her pooping in her pants. My nephew had this issue when he was a child; he was actually so constipated that liquid would squeeze out around the poop in an uncontrollable way. This happened in school as well as at home, he really could not help it. The Dr. did some tests and diagnosed him, then he prescribed a detailed treatment for him. This is what you must do for your daughter ASAP! You don’t want her to have to deal with being teased about this problem, and you don’t want her to suffer at the hands of her father for something she has no control over, either. When you make the Dr. appt to get the results of her tests, I urge you to make sure her father can come to the appt., too. He needs to hear from the Dr.’s mouth what is wrong with his child. Best wishes.
 
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jaimie1974
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September 11, 2007, 12:22 pm PDT

step daughter's issues

Quote From: hogankimberly

My 6 year old step daughter and our friend's 8 year old son was caught in a very compromising position. I should start by saying that my husband and his friends have been good friends since before any kids were born. Our friends have an 8 year old son and a 4 year old daughter. My husband has a 7 year old son, 6 year old daughter, and a 2 year old son. I have a 3 year old son. All of the kids besides my son have grown up together all of their lives. The kids have all stayed at each other's houses millions of times. Well just last Friday our friend wanted the kids to come over and stay the night. My 3 year old was sick so he stayed home. The next morning our friend called and my husband answered. She said that we needed to come get the kids and explained why. She caught her 8 year old son under the covers and between our 6 year old daughters legs with her pants and panties off. We do not know the exactly what was done but anything is not good. I understand that they are at a "curious" age but I am at my wit's end with this little girl. Let me let you in on a couple of examples to get you up to speed. Her 1st year in kindergarten she was caught under the table kissing a boy, and then two weeks prior to this incident we got her in trouble for pulling her nightgown up to her brother and saying "look, look".  Other brief examples are ...she has spray painted her sitters AC unit and then begged the boys not to tell on her. if they didn't she would give them money, she peeled the paint off the walls at her mom's house when they made her stand in the corner for hitting her brother in the head, and she she went to the bathroom at her grandmother's house and opened and poured 36 pairs of contacts down the sink. She is on maxed dosage of adderall for ADHD and I am on antidepressants just to try and deal with her!! We sit her down and talk to her everytime she gets into trouble and no matter what we say or do it does not seem to get through to her. Any advice on anyone has is more than appreciated......

It sounds like your step daughter has many issues. Because she is on the highest dose of ADHD medication but is still having symptoms, it is possible that she was misdiagnosed from the beginning. I suggest that you urge your husband to have his daughter go through the extensive psychological tests to get a 100% accurate diagnosis. She deserves it. Right now, if she continues living this way, she will be set up for a miserable life. It is your husband’s duty to do anything and everything to help his child. I urge you to give as much support as possible during this time; this is your whole family’s issue, not just the little girls. Best wishes.
 
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wanabprincez
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September 11, 2007, 8:58 pm PDT

Thanks

Quote From: jaimie1974

You are right; your ex IS making the situation worse. My advice to you is to make an appt. with your childs dr. to find out if she has digestive issues or some other medical issue that would contribute to her pooping in her pants. My nephew had this issue when he was a child; he was actually so constipated that liquid would squeeze out around the poop in an uncontrollable way. This happened in school as well as at home, he really could not help it. The Dr. did some tests and diagnosed him, then he prescribed a detailed treatment for him. This is what you must do for your daughter ASAP! You dont want her to have to deal with being teased about this problem, and you dont want her to suffer at the hands of her father for something she has no control over, either. When you make the Dr. appt to get the results of her tests, I urge you to make sure her father can come to the appt., too. He needs to hear from the Dr.s mouth what is wrong with his child. Best wishes.
Thank you for the advice,  I was thinking that maybe she was getting constipated too,  She came home yesterday from her w/e with the x, and she told me she had not had a BM while she was with her dad.  I gave her some benefiber with her drink last night and this morning too,  When she got home from school, she had no accidents, and she actually went ALOT and she was so proud,  of course she didn't know i did the benefiber thing,   shhhhh,,,,,  I hope this works, I did make her an appointment with her doctor too, just to make sure, 
 
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ricschic
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September 13, 2007, 7:08 am PDT

General Advice

Quote From: wanabprincez

I am searching for some help, my 6 yr old has alot of poop in her panties several times a week, she is in 1st grade, and i am worried about her being teased at school, it has only happened at school a few times, and I have had to go to the school and clean her up.  My x husband phoned me over his last w/e visit with her, and he was very upset about this situation, He has went as far as making her clean her dirty undies, I don't agree with that, he forces her to sit on the potty and poop, when she doesn't she tells me she is in big trouble, Myself I don't make a big deal of it, I talk to her, and explain to her that i know she isn't doing it on purpose.  I would be thankful for any suggestions.  I am worried that the way my x is handling it I am afraid he is making the situation worse.  But as usual like most x's I think, don't listen to you,

Since you responded to another poster that you are going to talk to your child's doctor, I would suggest you check out "Encopresis" first. And ask him/her about it as well. It's a much more common than most people realize, and it can be managed. This might be the problem your daughter has.

Good luck, I wish you and your daughter the best....
 
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marriedcouple
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September 20, 2007, 7:31 pm PDT

My 4 year old daughter

She gets an attitude like she is my boss and I dont know what to do.
 
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miekje
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September 22, 2007, 12:57 am PDT

General Advice

Quote From: marriedcouple

She gets an attitude like she is my boss and I dont know what to do.
just show her who's boss, warn her that such  an attitude isn't acceptable, and if she does it again, put her in the corner, or take a toy away, or what you usually do to discipline her.
 
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jchicmom
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October 4, 2007, 11:15 am PDT

dealing w/ difficult behavior

Quote From: hogankimberly

My 6 year old step daughter and our friend's 8 year old son was caught in a very compromising position. I should start by saying that my husband and his friends have been good friends since before any kids were born. Our friends have an 8 year old son and a 4 year old daughter. My husband has a 7 year old son, 6 year old daughter, and a 2 year old son. I have a 3 year old son. All of the kids besides my son have grown up together all of their lives. The kids have all stayed at each other's houses millions of times. Well just last Friday our friend wanted the kids to come over and stay the night. My 3 year old was sick so he stayed home. The next morning our friend called and my husband answered. She said that we needed to come get the kids and explained why. She caught her 8 year old son under the covers and between our 6 year old daughters legs with her pants and panties off. We do not know the exactly what was done but anything is not good. I understand that they are at a "curious" age but I am at my wit's end with this little girl. Let me let you in on a couple of examples to get you up to speed. Her 1st year in kindergarten she was caught under the table kissing a boy, and then two weeks prior to this incident we got her in trouble for pulling her nightgown up to her brother and saying "look, look".  Other brief examples are ...she has spray painted her sitters AC unit and then begged the boys not to tell on her. if they didn't she would give them money, she peeled the paint off the walls at her mom's house when they made her stand in the corner for hitting her brother in the head, and she she went to the bathroom at her grandmother's house and opened and poured 36 pairs of contacts down the sink. She is on maxed dosage of adderall for ADHD and I am on antidepressants just to try and deal with her!! We sit her down and talk to her everytime she gets into trouble and no matter what we say or do it does not seem to get through to her. Any advice on anyone has is more than appreciated......

Are you sure that you have the right diagnosis?  (ADHD).  I recently read an article about Child and Adolescent Bipolar Disorder from the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH).  It said that medications used to treat ADHD and depression can exacerbate the symptoms of bipolar disorder.  Then they listed the symptoms of the manic phase, which includes "hypersexuality."  If I were you, I would talk to her physician about the accuracy of her diagnosis and about changing her medication.
 
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jchicmom
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October 4, 2007, 11:28 am PDT

General Advice

Quote From: playingthefool

Hey i have a 7,5 and 2 year old children who are constantly telling on each other, how do I set limets as to what is okay to tell on and what is not? Right noe when the kids tattle I stick them in the corner, it is not working very well. thanks for any offered advice 

I used to put my 2 boys in "time out" when their fighting got out of control.  (If they weren't out of control, I sometimes left them alone to work it out for themselves.)  But I think that what really made the difference was the conversation I had with each of them after they calmed down.

 

First, I would ask them individually to tell me their version of what happened.  I would actively listen, only asking for clarification.  If appropriate, I would share the other child's perspective of the situation.  Then, I would always ask each one, "What could YOU have done differently?" sometimes followed by "What are YOU going to do differently next time?"

 

This strategy helped me get to the root of the problem, taught my kids to assume some responsibility for their own behavior, and taught them some strategies for dealing with conflicts.
 
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hogankimberly
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October 8, 2007, 8:52 am PDT

Misdiagnosed

Quote From: jchicmom

Are you sure that you have the right diagnosis?  (ADHD).  I recently read an article about Child and Adolescent Bipolar Disorder from the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH).  It said that medications used to treat ADHD and depression can exacerbate the symptoms of bipolar disorder.  Then they listed the symptoms of the manic phase, which includes "hypersexuality."  If I were you, I would talk to her physician about the accuracy of her diagnosis and about changing her medication.

You know it's kinda funny that you mention that because they boy she was caught with is on medicition and has long been diagnosised as being bipolar. That is differently something I should check into myself I guess. Thanks for the advice.
 
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gina531812
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October 26, 2007, 1:43 pm PDT

I could use some help with my son...

I have a set of four y/o twins, a boy and a girl.  I also have a 10, and 8 y/o both girls.  My son has been diagnosed with a learning disability.  The school system said that he is about 10 months behind in his speech and he is about 14 months behind in his fine motor skills.  The schools said that he needs to be in a 7-1-1 program.  This means that he has 7 kids to one teacher and one aid.  This is supposed to help him because he can not focus in larger groups.  He went to one school and that seemed to help. When I finished college he was moved to a school closer to my home. He has been going to this school since Sept.  I can not take him out in public, due to the screaming, tantrums, and fits he throws out in public.  I have tried everything to punish him.  I have spanked, put in the corner, hugged, sent to his room, and even taken toys away.  I am my wits end and I want him tested for some type of ADHD or ADD.  He has already been tested for Autism when he was 2.  The state said he just needed tubes put in his ears and then he would correct his behavior. That worked for the year he had the tubes in.  Now it is a different story.  Please can someone help me.  I do not want to put him on medicine, but I am at wits end!!!  

 

Sincerely,

A very stressed out mom.
 
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