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Topic : General Advice

Number of Replies: 465
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Created on : Thursday, July 07, 2005, 12:00:07 pm
Author : dataimport
Share advice and support with other parents of pre-schoolers and school age kids.

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November 13, 2005, 7:39 pm CST

General Advice

Quote From: mnunez

My daughter is your typical 8 year old. Extremely happy, outgoing participates in several activities. She is the girl next door. She is extremely well behaved.  Her only downfall is that she has struggled with comprehension / literacy since preschool. She has had tutors and has been a student at an after school learning program for years, so why isn't any of this working?????? I took her to a pediatric neurologist and he has scheduled her for neuropsychological testing. In the meantime, he has prescribed CONCERTA 18mg for her. I cant bring myself to medicate her. I don't want to turn her into an emotional pill popper or make her an experiment to try several medications...........I just cant do it. I am such a private person, I cant even believe I am on a message board speaking about this. Yet I am hoping someone out there can relate and give advice.........HELP.
HI. I was looking around and noticed your message. I don't know if this well help but when my son was 7 he was the same way.Smart and friendly typical blonde hair blue eyed boy.But his english grade was dropping. We tried everything and then one day I scheduled his first eye appointment. Come to find out he had a muscle pulling in his left eye so when he read it was so hard form him to concentrate. We got glasses and he started to enjoy reading again. Just some friendly advice.
 
November 15, 2005, 11:28 am CST

Potty Training

 Hi everyone! I am a first time mom and my son is 2 and a half years old. We started trying to potty train him when he was almost 2 and thought everything was going real well. He used the potty twice and ever since then wants nothing to do with any of it. He is in pre-school and he is the oldest in his class but wont use the potty. There are three other kids who are already potty trained and although he seems to have some interest still sais no. He will be moving to the older pre-school class by the end of the week (2-3 year olds) and his teacher sais that they are all potty trained. Hopefully that will help him want to use the potty, but I still cant figure out what to do. Whenever I ask him if he wants to be a big boy he sais no and he wants to be a baby. I tell him mommy wants her big boy and I use positive reinforcement but get no where. I have tried Dr. Phils method twice and he practically laughed at me. I took parents at his school and my works advice and took the pullups away completely. That didnt work, he told me at 2 years old to go buy some diapers and when I wouldnt he would wear the underwear but act like it was his pull up. I know he knows what to do but he wont do it. I have tried so many things and get no where. Is there any thing else I can do or any advice anyone can give me?
 
November 16, 2005, 1:06 pm CST

how to explain about birds and bees to my 5yr old?

Yesterday I walked in on my 5yr old son masterbating! Yes I was so suprised , and he caught me so off guard i really didn't know what to say or even say anything! I know it is a very difficult subject but I really have a hard time dealing with. I have no idea what to say and my husband doesn't either. Anyone out there that has any advise please let me know i am really at a loss for words. What age is too young to explain about sex? thanks
 
November 29, 2005, 3:08 am CST

Some Help Please

Hi, I have three daughters, age 7, 5 and 2 years old. My eldest daughter recently went through a hard time emotionally and it seemed like anything you said or did just wasn't right. She always answered back with NO and alot of yelling. Just within the last couple of weeks she has done an about face and has changed dramatically. However, now the middle daughter has decided to occupy the eldest role and on top of that she is an incredible teaser (constantly). She even teases adults which is a real worry. I've restricted activities, taken things away,time outs, you name it we've tried it. If there is someone out there with some advice on how to handle her behaviour it would be greatly appreciated.  Thanks grubdib.
 
December 5, 2005, 2:25 pm CST

4 1/2 yr old son - inappropriate sexual behavior

I need some advice. My 4 1/2 year old son has been acting inappropriately during the last several months in regards to hugging (naked) and pulling down his pants at preschool. Several months ago at his previous daycare he came home talking about wanting to be naked in bed with people and how that is what being married means. We never talked to the daycare provider about it and we pretty much down played it and didn't make a big deal out of it. Well, during the last month he has been trying to hug his little sister when they are both naked and he will kiss her neck. He will also pinch her butt. At Thanksgiving he got hold of my mother's 3 ft. doll and was taking her pants off and laying on top of her. Today at preschool he repeatedly pulled his pants down even after being lectured by the teacher and the facility's assistant director. 

My son has never caught my husband in bed and I do not know what he saw at his previous daycare (we always assumed he saw something on TV - like a soap opera). We have talked to him about how this is not appropriate behavior, but I am at a loss as to how to explain to him that this is not acceptable. At the same time I don't want him to think that it is bad so that when he grows up he has problems. 

Any advice would be greatly appreciated. 

Heather 

 
December 5, 2005, 5:21 pm CST

It will work...

Quote From: t1002bell

 Hi everyone! I am a first time mom and my son is 2 and a half years old. We started trying to potty train him when he was almost 2 and thought everything was going real well. He used the potty twice and ever since then wants nothing to do with any of it. He is in pre-school and he is the oldest in his class but wont use the potty. There are three other kids who are already potty trained and although he seems to have some interest still sais no. He will be moving to the older pre-school class by the end of the week (2-3 year olds) and his teacher sais that they are all potty trained. Hopefully that will help him want to use the potty, but I still cant figure out what to do. Whenever I ask him if he wants to be a big boy he sais no and he wants to be a baby. I tell him mommy wants her big boy and I use positive reinforcement but get no where. I have tried Dr. Phils method twice and he practically laughed at me. I took parents at his school and my works advice and took the pullups away completely. That didnt work, he told me at 2 years old to go buy some diapers and when I wouldnt he would wear the underwear but act like it was his pull up. I know he knows what to do but he wont do it. I have tried so many things and get no where. Is there any thing else I can do or any advice anyone can give me?

Well, as a mom of 2 boys and a girl, boys are much more difficult to potty train. My daughter who is now 2 1/2 took only 2 days and a reinforcement of M&M's. My oldest son was mostly potty trained by 2 but regressed when his sister was born and we moved. When he was almost 3 I decided that he had a month - that was the goal - to be done with potty training. During his regressing time we continued to put him on the potty even if he didn't use it. 

We had him play without pants on. A couple times of peeing on the floor and he started going in the potty. Having a BM in the potty however, took a little more encouragement (a couple accidents on the carpet) and a reward of Matchbox cars. I also tried the party method and calling his favorite character but this did not interest our son. The cars as a reward and not wanting to go to the bathroom on the carpet worked for us. Of course, when we were done the carpet cleaners came just to make sure it was all clean. (Spot Shot) works great during the process) 

Good luck - try finding something that your son loves that you can use as a reward (candy, inexpensive toys, etc.). 

 
December 7, 2005, 7:24 pm CST

my opinion...

Quote From: mrstbuz95

Yesterday I walked in on my 5yr old son masterbating! Yes I was so suprised , and he caught me so off guard i really didn't know what to say or even say anything! I know it is a very difficult subject but I really have a hard time dealing with. I have no idea what to say and my husband doesn't either. Anyone out there that has any advise please let me know i am really at a loss for words. What age is too young to explain about sex? thanks

I don't know about explaining sex to a young child, but my daughter who is now 3 1/2 has always been fond of her genitals anytime she is naked.  

  

I have found her touching herself and have always told her that her vagina is special to her and only SHE can touch it. BUT she has to do it in private.  

  

Most of the time she does this in her play room while watching shows, I personally think it is a boredom thing. But I have always taught her to cover herself with a blanket or go to her room. 

  

I think you should explain the difference between a boy and girl, use proper names for genitals and remind your child that touching is OK but only to be done by HIM/HER and always in privacy and then you have to remember to honor that privacy, by knocking on the door and giving the child a moment to regroup. however you want to say. 

  

Masturbation is very normal and this is a learning process, where children are learning about their bodies and we as parents should make it as normal and OK as possible as to not cause any kind of self body image problems in the future. This is also a great way to talk about stranger danger and how it is VERY wrong for anyone to touch your child inappropriately, no matter what that person may say.  

  

Hope this sheds some light Tammy 

 
December 10, 2005, 8:59 pm CST

General Advice

Quote From: hrkoren

I need some advice. My 4 1/2 year old son has been acting inappropriately during the last several months in regards to hugging (naked) and pulling down his pants at preschool. Several months ago at his previous daycare he came home talking about wanting to be naked in bed with people and how that is what being married means. We never talked to the daycare provider about it and we pretty much down played it and didn't make a big deal out of it. Well, during the last month he has been trying to hug his little sister when they are both naked and he will kiss her neck. He will also pinch her butt. At Thanksgiving he got hold of my mother's 3 ft. doll and was taking her pants off and laying on top of her. Today at preschool he repeatedly pulled his pants down even after being lectured by the teacher and the facility's assistant director. 

My son has never caught my husband in bed and I do not know what he saw at his previous daycare (we always assumed he saw something on TV - like a soap opera). We have talked to him about how this is not appropriate behavior, but I am at a loss as to how to explain to him that this is not acceptable. At the same time I don't want him to think that it is bad so that when he grows up he has problems. 

Any advice would be greatly appreciated. 

Heather 

I would definately talk to the daycare provider.  I would think this is a behavior that he has seen somewhere (tv, magazine, etc.) 
 
December 10, 2005, 9:36 pm CST

Treat others the way that you want them to treat you?

I have 3 children.  A daughter who is 5 and 2 1/2 year old boy/girl twins.  My 5 year old daughter is a very outgoing little girl who is friendly to everyone.  She is also very sensitive to everything.  She gets very upset when people aren't as nice  to her as she is to them.  She has come home from school and told me that certain girls in her class were mean to her.  Initially I told her to just not talk to those little girls.  She replied that she likes to talk to them and wants to be there friends so I told her to tell them that when they are mean to her that it hurts her feelings.    

  

She is not only concerned when people are mean to her  but she gets upset when they are mean to others too.  There is a little boy in her class that has downs syndrome.  This little boy has scratched my daughter and has knocked her down and jumped on her back and I have tried to explain to her that he has downs syndrome, which is hard to explain to a 5 year old what that means.  When she told me that these things  happened, I asked what the teacher did and then I try to explain to her that he has an illness.  She has come home a number of times upset because kids in her class have tripped this little boy, thrown stuff at him, and picked on him because he wears pull ups.  I told her to be nice to him all the time no matter what the other kids do and she said that she is always nice to him.   I believe this too, because she talks about him at home all the time.   I am trying to teach her to take up for him.  I have told her that he can't help his behavior sometimes.  However, sometimes I wonder if this is why some of the girls are mean to her.    

  

Anyways, this is something that really bothers her.  I try to teach my kids to treat people that way that you want them to treat you but it is really hard when she doesn't get the same reception.  How can I teach her that no matter how nice she is to someone that doesn't always mean people are going to be nice to you but that she should still be nice to them.  It just breaks my heart to see her so upset.    Any advice? 

 
December 11, 2005, 2:17 pm CST

Thanks - found out where he saw it...

Quote From: jaimedyann

I would definately talk to the daycare provider.  I would think this is a behavior that he has seen somewhere (tv, magazine, etc.) 
Upon further prodding my son finally told us that he walked in on his daycare provider and hubby during naptime. From what he says it does not seem like you caught them either at the beginning or end when they were halfed dressed.  When we talked to him about his behavior he was very embarrassed and he has calmed down with the inappropriate behavior.
 
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