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Topic : General Advice

Number of Replies: 465
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Thursday, July 07, 2005, 12:00:07 pm
Author : dataimport
Share advice and support with other parents of pre-schoolers and school age kids.

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December 12, 2005, 7:27 am CST

My sons break everything

Christmas becomes a stressful time of year for everybody, but my stess is much different.  I want and don't want to buy things for my boys.  I know that before long we would have just wasted more money .  My boys are 10 and 8 and as of right now, they don't have any toys (maybe a couple of matchbox cars).  It isn't because they haven't  gotten any, it's that they have either broken them or lost them.  This is the second year that by Christmas we are restocking rather than adding to their stuff ( I guess I should be thankful that i don't have to find room for the new things, ha).  It isn't just with toys its with everything.  We have been thru several pairs of glasses, shoes and socks.  We have tried talking with them and we don't replace things.  When its gone its gone.  They only receive gifts or rewards.  I need suggestions on how to have them take better care of their things.  We have tried giving them one toy at a time, usually comes back broken or with pieces missing.  

 
December 12, 2005, 2:18 pm CST

Good For You

Quote From: azanco

My 5 year old (Sabrina) used to have imaginary friends then became her own imaginery friend - Cher.  Cher would come over and she would leave.  She started doing this around 3 1/2.  It started getting a little frustrating and I became concerned as well.  I started talking to her about Sabrina and all the great things does and that I missed her while she was gone (while Cher visited)and that I loved her, then Sabrina would come back.  Cher's visit came for shorter intervals.  Now at 5, Cher is often talked about but rarely visits!!  Good luck.
I think that sounds like the perfect way to solve this problem and boost the childs self esteem while your at it. If I had this problem, which I might one day, this is definatly the approach I would take!
 
December 18, 2005, 8:35 pm CST

8 yr old daughter looked at web porn - help!

Hello, 

  

This is my first posting on this website.  Today I've discovered that my 8 yr old daughter surfed the web and found porn (lots) and she really browsed around.  I also think she has been doing it for the past few days.  She doesn't really know about sex (except that it is something a mommy and daddy does when they love each other), but now she saw all this horrible things.  How do I explain it to her?  What do I say?  I know she is a very innocent child and was just curious, but I didn't want her to learn about sex that way, how do I handle this?  Please give me your advice.  (And no, I DON"T think children should look at porn, and I DON'T think it is okay either). 

 
December 20, 2005, 6:48 am CST

Challenging 7 year old

I have a sweetheart of a 7 year old daughter.  She does excellent in school, has lots of friends and is in general a really lovable, well-adjusted kid.  The problem is that her communication with me and my husband is at a 2 year old's level.  SHe doesn't say anything to us without whining, yelling, crying, throwing herself on the floor.  She also gets very rude and mouthy.  We have been trying to make sure we are listening to her and we encourage her to use words to tell us what she needs/thinks/wants.  She also is very bossy and sarcastic with her 2 younger siblings.  We send her to the "naughty spot" when she misbehaves which usually becomes a battle in itself.  We've taken away toys, taken away desserts, and taken away fun activities in order to show her that there are consequences for her behavior.  Most of it she could care less about.  We have a hard time figuring out what her "currency" is (to quote Dr. Phil).  We've also tried an award system.  In her defense, my husband and I are not always the most consistent parents in the world, but we are making a conscious effort to change that.  Now she keeps telling us that she is bad (we never tell her that) and that we don't love her ( we tell her several times a day how much we love her).  I don't know if she really feels that or if it's some kind of manipulation to get what she wants. 

  

Anyway, we think we see a correlation between her behavior and sugar intake.  Does anyone have any experience with this or have any advice on how to get through to her or what to try to help her control her mouth and behavior?  We love her and we know she's a great kid, but how do you teach a 7 year old that if she would just control her mouth, she would be happier and so would we? 

 
December 21, 2005, 9:41 am CST

hi

Quote From: boohbah78

Hello, 

  

This is my first posting on this website.  Today I've discovered that my 8 yr old daughter surfed the web and found porn (lots) and she really browsed around.  I also think she has been doing it for the past few days.  She doesn't really know about sex (except that it is something a mommy and daddy does when they love each other), but now she saw all this horrible things.  How do I explain it to her?  What do I say?  I know she is a very innocent child and was just curious, but I didn't want her to learn about sex that way, how do I handle this?  Please give me your advice.  (And no, I DON"T think children should look at porn, and I DON'T think it is okay either). 

why is an 8 yr old surfing the net anyway? 

  

 
December 28, 2005, 10:07 am CST

Daughter caught stealing

Hi, 

  

My 7 year old daughter took a sparkly rock from her 5 year old cousin's room on Christmas Day.  I just found it this morning and she admitted to taking it.  Also, yesterday at the bank she took more than one lollipop out of the basket and hid it in her pocketbook after I told her she could only have one.  She also took a hundred dollar bill out of my wallet, but admitted to it when I asked her if she had seen it.  Then, a few weeks ago, i found some jewelry from my jewelry box in her dresser drawer.  She said she and her sister were playing "spy" and had hidden it there.   

  

Anyone have any effective ways to nip this in the bud?  She is going to be returning the rock to her cousin and apologizing to her for what she did.    WHy do kids do this? 

  

An embarrassed Mom 

 
December 28, 2005, 5:52 pm CST

General Advice

Quote From: dolly316

As difficult it is to see a child view a funeral it is a part of life. When our daufghter died we took her two brothers to the funeral and now as adults they have understanding that may not have been had they been excluded. They were asked if they wanted to go and through all funerals we had to attend they attended too. Being excluded from a funeral will later surface in a possible negative manner---As for myself I was taken to my great grandmothers viewing, but not the funeral. I thought for many years she was sleeping in the mansion house I lat saw her. Children need truth and be given understanding to accept life - good and bad.
A little over three years ago my little brother who was only 19 years old committed sucide and my twin sister and I both have very young children mine was only 10 days old at the time so I really didnt have to worry about that but my sisters daughter was 5 years old at the time and when she told her it was very devestating hearing her cry I still remember her cries and probley always wiil but she did attend his furneal with us and I dont think it had a negative affect on her however she is a very strong little girl very smart and mature for her age. I do believe Children should be told the truth and be given understanding to accept life good and bad.
 
December 29, 2005, 12:30 pm CST

me too!

Quote From: daizeedee

Christmas becomes a stressful time of year for everybody, but my stess is much different.  I want and don't want to buy things for my boys.  I know that before long we would have just wasted more money .  My boys are 10 and 8 and as of right now, they don't have any toys (maybe a couple of matchbox cars).  It isn't because they haven't  gotten any, it's that they have either broken them or lost them.  This is the second year that by Christmas we are restocking rather than adding to their stuff ( I guess I should be thankful that i don't have to find room for the new things, ha).  It isn't just with toys its with everything.  We have been thru several pairs of glasses, shoes and socks.  We have tried talking with them and we don't replace things.  When its gone its gone.  They only receive gifts or rewards.  I need suggestions on how to have them take better care of their things.  We have tried giving them one toy at a time, usually comes back broken or with pieces missing.  

i feel the same way, except i might have a bigger problem. the same happens to toys as well, but i have been through 4 sets of living room furniture in 8 years, 4 sets of carpeting to the entire house, cars, and you name it. I have had a new car on mothers day every year for the past 4 years. I am  

not kidding you. I have 4 boys, 1 girl( who is just like them but prettier) my husband who thinks that tkids are kids and a golden retriever that fits right in. I would like to buy something and have it last longer than 5 minutes. this is no fun. HELP FROM ANYONE? 

 
December 30, 2005, 8:22 am CST

General Advice

Quote From: anne745ny

i feel the same way, except i might have a bigger problem. the same happens to toys as well, but i have been through 4 sets of living room furniture in 8 years, 4 sets of carpeting to the entire house, cars, and you name it. I have had a new car on mothers day every year for the past 4 years. I am  

not kidding you. I have 4 boys, 1 girl( who is just like them but prettier) my husband who thinks that tkids are kids and a golden retriever that fits right in. I would like to buy something and have it last longer than 5 minutes. this is no fun. HELP FROM ANYONE? 

I gave up on replacing the furniture and stuff.  we have one couch and we sit on patio furniture.  I refuse to keep wasting money.  Luckily I still have the same car.  Couldn't afford a new car every year even if it got destroyed.  Great Mother's Day gift ideat hough.  I do have a daughter also, but thank God she isn't like the boys, she just loses everything.  It has not even been a week since Christmas and my 10 year old has already destroyed his headphones and thing hands and a radio.  Grrrrr.
 
December 30, 2005, 8:30 am CST

General Advice

Quote From: hanlukari

Hi, 

  

My 7 year old daughter took a sparkly rock from her 5 year old cousin's room on Christmas Day.  I just found it this morning and she admitted to taking it.  Also, yesterday at the bank she took more than one lollipop out of the basket and hid it in her pocketbook after I told her she could only have one.  She also took a hundred dollar bill out of my wallet, but admitted to it when I asked her if she had seen it.  Then, a few weeks ago, i found some jewelry from my jewelry box in her dresser drawer.  She said she and her sister were playing "spy" and had hidden it there.   

  

Anyone have any effective ways to nip this in the bud?  She is going to be returning the rock to her cousin and apologizing to her for what she did.    WHy do kids do this? 

  

An embarrassed Mom 

Well, my daughter did the same things.  She would take stuff from her sisters rooms (she was 5 and they were teenagers) and from her brothers and sometimes from us.  Then one day she stole some gum from the store.  Boy, how embarrassed I was.  But, since I caught her just as we were walking out of the door, I marched her right back into the store and had her tell the manager what she had done, she was petrified and I felt horrible for her, because she was crying and shaking, but enough was enough.  She had to show him where she put the packaging and he was really good about it as He explained everything that we had already explained to her.  But it seemed to do the trick. 
 
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