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Topic : General Advice

Number of Replies: 465
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Created on : Thursday, July 07, 2005, 12:00:07 pm
Author : dataimport
Share advice and support with other parents of pre-schoolers and school age kids.

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July 30, 2005, 6:13 am CDT

General Advice

Quote From: jettav

I would definetly treat them as individuals and even dress them differently. I would give them seperate drawls as well, they need to be aloud to be their own person anddo their own thing. It is ok to dress them alike on accasions and all but really, it shouldn't be an every day thing. I have two girls, they are not twins but they are now sharing a bed room, I am doing half the room in Dora and the other half in Sesame street with some veggie tales along with the theme to please each of the girls, gonna put, so maybe you can do this as well for your girls, and do one side in princess and the other in super heros, so what if it is usuallya boy theme, she likes it, I am not too fa,ilair witht he super heros but are there any girl figures in these shows. whatever the case, they definetly need to be treared as individuals and not considered "the twins". I think once you start treeating them like this and all, they will eventually enjoy having the similarities that they have and will want to dress alike on accasions. They need to know how much they are loved and appreciated for who they are and that it is ok to be who they are. Maybe since the one likes horses so much, maybe you can start the "little pony" collection for her and play with her with them, help her to develop her imagination and encourage her to play and interact with her sister and to be happy with herself and do the same with your other little one.
hey, thanks, I think you have some good ideas! My stepsons little girl is a bit older, but she likes 'kim possible' who I think is some kind of superhero. I do also find some of the 'my little pony' stuff too. One thing I feel bad about is that I noticed that she kind of acts like Allyssa is a princess, but shes not, like shes not pretty. She does stress more athletic boy-type things. For a long time she said she was a boy, until I finally explained to her how boys are physically different, ie, genitalia, due to a statue we saw that very vividly showed a naked little boy. Now she understands that she isnt a boy, that it isnt just a state of mind! of course, that brings up homosexuality questions, for me especially, because my sister is a lesbian, so we've had experience with that. I have seen her try on Allyssa's princess nightgown and strut around like a pretty princess, and I think she wants to look pretty too. Maybe she just wants to look pretty some of the time, but she said when shes a super hero she cant wear a dress because when she flies, people will look under her dress and see her underwear! All of this is maybe worrying me more than it needs to. Maybe they're just trying to find themselves and it'll all work out in the end. I have three older kids, and now that I'm an older mom, I'm much more paranoid! I so want to do things better than I did with the first three. I does get difficult when Allyssa wants to wear very super fancy dresses all the time. For one thing, its hard to ride a bike in them, and I dont want all her nice dresses to get ruined either. She only wants to wear the super fancy expensive ones!
 
July 30, 2005, 6:23 am CDT

General Advice

Quote From: jessdomino

My 3 year old daughter "rubs" herself on things (arms of chairs, rocking horse, etc.).  I believe she is doing this for pleasure.  Is this normal?  How do I stop her from doing it?
its funny that I would see something about this topic, because I was just discussing this with our peds doctor yesterday, and she said that this is completely normal. They have just found something that feels nice, and they like how it feels when they rub it. I have tried to discreetly keep my girls from doing that type of thing where other people will see it without having them think that their bodies are 'dirty' or in some way shameful.
 
July 30, 2005, 11:53 am CDT

Bedwetting 10 year old

I have a 10 yr old son that still wets his bed about every night.  I've looked up information on bedwetting and it seems to be a common thing, but I am getting very concerned about him.  If anyone had any solutions to our problem I would really appreciate them.
 
July 30, 2005, 2:09 pm CDT

Pediatrician

Quote From: minerj73

I have a 10 yr old son that still wets his bed about every night.  I've looked up information on bedwetting and it seems to be a common thing, but I am getting very concerned about him.  If anyone had any solutions to our problem I would really appreciate them.

Have you discussed this with the pediatrician?

 

Ours gave my daughter a nose spray called DDVAP

 

My daughter wets the bed. She is 14 and suffers from bipolar disorder. Does he have any mental health issues, like add or adhd?? Just wondering as it seems very common with these children.

 

It has something to do with the transmitter from the bladder to the brain. Seems that the part of the brain that is suppose to send the message is either not working or delayed.

 

 

 
August 13, 2005, 7:24 am CDT

Bedwetting 10yr old

Quote From: tammyo1973

Have you discussed this with the pediatrician?

 

Ours gave my daughter a nose spray called DDVAP

 

My daughter wets the bed. She is 14 and suffers from bipolar disorder. Does he have any mental health issues, like add or adhd?? Just wondering as it seems very common with these children.

 

It has something to do with the transmitter from the bladder to the brain. Seems that the part of the brain that is suppose to send the message is either not working or delayed.

 

 

About my "bed wetting" 10 yr old... We tried some nose spray...didn't seem to work.  

  

The pediatrician acted like it was not a big deal and eventually it would go away, but I feel so bad for my son having to deal with this. 

  

I don't think he had any mental issues...he doesn't display anything related to any disorders, but it may be something to look into. ? 

  

He is a big boy...90% of his age in height and 97% of his age in weight.  Maybe that could play a part in his ability to hold his bladder??? 

  

His father and I have been divorced for several years...maybe the insecurity issue plays a part??? 

  

I just don't know:(  May need to try another doctor. 

  

Thank you 

 
August 22, 2005, 8:18 am CDT

my 6year old has trouble sleeping

My 6 year old daughter has always been a troubled sleeper, so to say i place her in bed, read a book and kiss her goodnight never has happened.  The best we ever had was to check on her every minute (usually lasts about 15 times) until she is out.  In the night if she wakes, my husband or I usually sit with her for a minute or two until she goes back.  What I just described is a good night.  

At this point I even let her brother sleep with her and that worked for a while but now she is panicked if he falls asleep first. Even if i go in and lay on her floor and fall asleep before her she panics.  I am tired, and confused.  I'd like to say I tried everything, but I am sure I did not and apparently am doing it all wrong otherwise I guess I'd get a better result.  I tried things from the reward system to the negative of taking away privledges.   In the heat of the moment she is willing to give up everything to just jump in my bed so I can hold her tight.  In the morning she is full of the begging, new found hope, bravery and promises.  I must be asking too much, and really am getting very down about how to handle this. Any advise is appreciated.    

 
August 22, 2005, 2:29 pm CDT

10 y/o bedwetting

Quote From: minerj73

About my "bed wetting" 10 yr old... We tried some nose spray...didn't seem to work.  

  

The pediatrician acted like it was not a big deal and eventually it would go away, but I feel so bad for my son having to deal with this. 

  

I don't think he had any mental issues...he doesn't display anything related to any disorders, but it may be something to look into. ? 

  

He is a big boy...90% of his age in height and 97% of his age in weight.  Maybe that could play a part in his ability to hold his bladder??? 

  

His father and I have been divorced for several years...maybe the insecurity issue plays a part??? 

  

I just don't know:(  May need to try another doctor. 

  

Thank you 

HI! I'm not trying to scare you by saying this, but you say your son is wetting the bed. Does he stay thirsty alot? Headaches? Hungry alot? Just wondering and the reason is bedwetting is sometimes related to diabetes. My son who is 5 started wetting his bed alot last year and craved water and stayed thirsty. He got diagnosed with type 1 diabetes last year. This may not be your sons case, but I just wanted to share this with you just in case it could be. I would keep an eye out if he is showing any of these signs: bedwetting, constant thirst, leg cramps, headaches, fuzzy vision, irritability, and cant concentrate. 
 
August 27, 2005, 6:04 pm CDT

sleep problems

Quote From: reisu01

My 6 year old daughter has always been a troubled sleeper, so to say i place her in bed, read a book and kiss her goodnight never has happened.  The best we ever had was to check on her every minute (usually lasts about 15 times) until she is out.  In the night if she wakes, my husband or I usually sit with her for a minute or two until she goes back.  What I just described is a good night.  

At this point I even let her brother sleep with her and that worked for a while but now she is panicked if he falls asleep first. Even if i go in and lay on her floor and fall asleep before her she panics.  I am tired, and confused.  I'd like to say I tried everything, but I am sure I did not and apparently am doing it all wrong otherwise I guess I'd get a better result.  I tried things from the reward system to the negative of taking away privledges.   In the heat of the moment she is willing to give up everything to just jump in my bed so I can hold her tight.  In the morning she is full of the begging, new found hope, bravery and promises.  I must be asking too much, and really am getting very down about how to handle this. Any advise is appreciated.    

Does your child have any emotional disturbances? 

I ask this because my daughter who was diagnosed with bipolar has problems with sleep. Many bipolar children ahve what are called night terrors. 

  

Not knowing your whole situation just thought I would throw that in there. 

  

If you need any more info on emotional disturbances or symptoms let me know and I will give you some links to check out. 

Tammy 

 
August 27, 2005, 6:07 pm CDT

Divorce

Quote From: minerj73

About my "bed wetting" 10 yr old... We tried some nose spray...didn't seem to work.  

  

The pediatrician acted like it was not a big deal and eventually it would go away, but I feel so bad for my son having to deal with this. 

  

I don't think he had any mental issues...he doesn't display anything related to any disorders, but it may be something to look into. ? 

  

He is a big boy...90% of his age in height and 97% of his age in weight.  Maybe that could play a part in his ability to hold his bladder??? 

  

His father and I have been divorced for several years...maybe the insecurity issue plays a part??? 

  

I just don't know:(  May need to try another doctor. 

  

Thank you 

Have you had him in therapy? 

  

 I would say they are some underlying mental issues with regards to your divorce. 

  

I would ask these questions... was he bedwetting before the divorce? If so has it gotten worse? 

Does he have any tpe of delays emotionally or mentally? 

  

If you think the wetting has gotten worse since the divorce I would seek a child psychologist for him to work on his issues. Most children internalize issues such as divorce and it can reak havoc on their whole system.  

  

Also if you are uncomfortable with your pediatrician's advise ask to havea referral to a child urologist.  


Hope this helps a little 

Tammy 

 
September 1, 2005, 12:47 pm CDT

5 year old son

Hello everyone I am new to the forum so please bear with me. I went to my son's school today because his teacher wanted to have a confrence with me.I go and she asks me if my son has any mental problem or if I did drugs while I was pregnant with him. I told her NO to both.She stated that he does nothing at all he acts as those he is confused and his brain is out in no mans land, and only talks to say "My mommy will be back". My son has a issue because his dad left a couple years ago and now has the fear of being left by me which would never ever happen. I feel like its my fault that he is not doing anything in school. He does everything at home but not at school. I called the hunnigton and Sylvia learning schools to see if they could help him and they canm but I can not afford 40.00-46.00 per hour a week. I have no money...I get no child support. I am so upset that I can not stop crying because I feel like a failure as a mother because I can not help my child with what he needs help with.I am a bad mom. Its my fauly. Thats all that keeps going through my head.Have any of you went through this and what did you do that helped your child? Any and all info would great.Thanks for listening to me.
 
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