Look, Duane Chapman is a 7th grade educated ex-con, and when
you hear him talk, it shows. It also shows, I think, that his heart is in the
right place. I do not watch his show. I started writing this before
I saw today’s show; I was moved to write after seeing a promo that featured Dr
Phil saying Chapman had "ducked" the interview. Well, my guess
is that his lawyers advised him to do Larry King and that was enough. For a
celebrity to go on and on about something like this is just not probably even
mentally healthy for the person. Likewise with having contacted his son's
girlfriend. On Larry King he said his son "had better marry
her" at this point, because of the whole controversy they are going
through. I really don't think this guy's a racist. He says he
thought he had reason to believe she was getting him to put his parole at risk
and after only having served 4 yrs of a 20 yr stint, he was emotional about the
situation, because it would mean his son going back for 16 more years…
That doesn’t' make calling her names right---he admits that. And he
now knows that what he THOUGHT to be true about the girl is NOT true.
This whole thing of people in the spotlight getting shunned over vocabulary is
a bit crazy to me. I don't want to go backwards in time to where we
didn't let certain people do certain things, but it's gotten a little
confusing. We have the whole music industry GLORIFYING hate, bad words,
WOMANIZING, and violence. Imus and
Chapman both felt, it seems to me, that they somehow were in a vocabulary safe
zone. This kind of language is
prevalent, and it’s use is mixed up and confusing. This is not an excuse—I personally agree with TD Jakes when he
said our village is sick. He’s right,
and it’s not just because we have sexy toothpaste commercials. But also because we think we need $30 tooth
whitening “systems” that we charge to our credit cards (and can’t really
afford) cause we glorify the cult of celebrity and being like everyone else
more than almost anything in America these days. More than things like personal
responsibility, more than dignity and pride.
What would bother me is if this show turns out to be what it sounds like on the
promos: more Enquirer-like jumping on the bandwagon to make money off a
private conversation that MAY HAVE BEEN ILLEGALLY RECORDED. In some states, of
course, that's the case. These people have been trying to catch him
saying things they could make money off of for some time. Come on,
people. It's just perverse, that they would take a kid who gets out of
prison--and I think he went in young--and ply him with a small amount of money
to put this out. It's SAD. They are fomenting "racial"
tensions. They are feeding off our propensity to believe what we hear
without investigating it--and they are making POTS of money. And the Chapman segment on the show
today?? It turned out to be just
that: MORE fomenting. Areva Martin is a LAWYER and thinks Chapman
should lose his job over a recording of a private conversation?? What?? I’m with the former head of the NAACP
who said that if we do that, we are on a slippery slope. You don’t have to be a lawyer to know that.
OK...The whole situation in Jena confirmed that there is some underlying,
seething discontent in the black community in America. Duh. And
if you'll notice, the holy rollers (people like Jesse Jackson) were
NOT the ones LEADING the movement southward. It was a people's movement;
the mouthpieces attached themselves kinda at the last minute. The bulk
of the momentum was gathered online, no doubt by young people.
This also was the first incident I had heard of ANYONE in the US hanging a
noose--maybe in my lifetime (other than maybe at the annual Nazi Rally in
Skokie, Illinois, and the like, which we all just had to kind of accept as them
having the right to do their own thing.) And you know what?? I
think if that story had not gone beyond the borders of LA we would NOT NOT NOT
be having nooses appearing elsewhere.
This is only making it worse. Black people have said there is racism everywhere for a long
time. It’s subtle; it’s pervasive. Really??
I just don’t see it. I don’t
treat people badly, my friends don’t; I don’t SEE it (I live in a very mixed
community.) Recently, I finally decided, hey, you know, I’ve never seen a list
of these racist things we are doing.
Show me a list. I can’t fix what I don’t know I’m doing wrong. I’m like the lady in the audience who grew
up believing racism is a thing of the past, because we were not raised that
way. Period. We don’t see anybody as less than we are. One of my sister’s best friends is a black
woman who is a cardiologist with her own practice. Black people DO achieve
things in America. (Do you know how much drive and determination it takes to
become a cardiologist?? A
lot more than
it takes to become a PhD psychologist…lol) That's what we
see. People being nice to each other--we are not scared of black
people nor do we have reason to dislike them. We do not use
racial slurs.
I heard recently—perhaps on the Dr Phil show, that 7 out of
10 white people have NO racist feelings whatsoever, and the others vary in
degree of racist feelings. How can you
say we have not made progress? Seventy
percent is FAR from what I’d like to see ultimately, but come on!!! We aren’t living in the 50’s, 60’s, or 70’s
anymore. When my parents were growing up in the south, it was COMPLETELY segregated. People date across races in
America at much higher rates than ever before.
I think we were doing pretty well.
And frankly?? I’m MUCH more worried
about black guys KILLING each other, like Najee said. It’s awful—fifty percent of black young men don’t finish high
school?? THAT’S a problem I’m
interested in. So what I’m
white?!?!?! THIS IS MY VILLAGE. And part of it is way off in the ditch. People who have little or no choice as to
where to live are afraid to help the police solve crimes against their
neighbors because if they do they risk their own safety. THAT worries me. Little kids have to grow up in those neighborhoods. OUR little kids.
I think we have to be very careful where we shine our very
powerful spotlight. Do we shine it on a
private conversation between two arguably sort of messed up ex-cons? A desperate kid selling out his dad for a tv and a truck?? Are these the people we want lighting the
fire of our racial debates? Really?? Come
on. We have problems. We really do. We all KNOW we should not use these words, though honestly, it is
a confusing mess, with some people IN THE BLACK community still clinging to the
right to use the word (and really, it is just a word…it’s the MEANING that
hurts)…so what the heck do we do. We
raise a ruckus, cause it’s politically correct…but it seems to be stirring up
so much CRAP that wasn’t really there before.
How about looking to people like Harold Washington, former
mayor of Chicago. First black mayor of
Chicago, a city that had been corrupt, rife with racial iniquities… Harold
Washington did not play to people’s worst fears. His motto was we are going to be “fairer than fair.” There were black politicians who railed
against him, saying, “NO!! Now that we have the power, we have to give our
people MORE than the others.” He did
not bow to it. And now, 20 years after
his death, people in Chicago who used to turn away from their party if their
candidate was black DON’T anymore. And this is true even of people who identify
themselves as RACIST. Harold Washington
left a great legacy in the city of Chicago—one that we can follow, one that we
can emulate--one that the current mayor IS emulating. Who is it that says this is not the white US or the black US, but
the United States of America?? Barack
Obama, I think??? We CANNOT afford to
play to these fears. We HAVE to unite
and solve our problems together.
I think some of this worry about who said what, to magnify
it, to be blasted with it, in the face of the kind of progress people like
Harold Washington are leaving in their wakes is scary. We have some bad stuff going on. But, we have people like Oprah Winfrey, (who
had a show today featuring The Osmond Family--how’s THAT for contrast???),
Barack Obama, Colin Powell, Bill Cosby, EdD., Rev TD Jakes, Alvin Poussaint, MD
who are blazing trails of achievement across America. If they can do what they’ve done, ANYBODY can. Anybody, that is, especially if their
parents are TELLING them, “hey, there are opportunities for you, you have to
work for them, but they are yours, go get them!!!” Instead having parents who say, “no one gives us a chance, don’t
even try.”
Last week in Little Rock, AR an old black man died at the age of 78. He was
the first black man to get sober in AA in Little Rock. That was in 1961, just 4
short years after the National Guard was called in to make sure 9 black
students were allowed safe entry into the all-white Central High School in
Little Rock. He said that back then they sent the white drunks to the hospital,
and the black drunks to the "nut house" (the state hospital.) When he
got out, they told him to go to the AA meetings. He went for the coffee and
cigarettes. I don’t believe he was the first black man to go to those meetings,
but somehow, even though the white people there largely only tolerated him (can
you IMAGINE???), the steps took, he got sober, stayed sober, and eventually
wrote a few books that became internationally known (e.g., The Steps We Took),
and founded and ran a treatment facility called Serenity Park for a long time.
RIP Joe McQuaney
Now. There’s hard,
and then there’s hard…
Life is largely a game of perception. I think we need to seriously consider what
ours is going to be going forward.
From a celebrity’s controversial meltdown caught on tape to nooses cropping up around the country, Dr. Phil and Bishop T.D. Jakes tackle tough racial issues. First up, Dog the Bounty Hunter spewed slurs in a phone conversation with his son, Tucker, and used the N-word repeatedly when referring to Tucker’s black girlfriend, Monique. Monique’s mother, Linda Shinnery, joins the Dr. Phil show via satellite and says she was appalled by Dog’s tirade. Should the reality TV star lose his job over a private conversation? Civil rights activist Al Sharpton, rapper Master P, and BET correspondent Jeff Johnson weigh in. Then, nooses, a symbol of hatred for African-Americans, are cropping up more and more across the country – from Jena, Louisiana to Columbia University in New York. Najee Ali, founder and co-director of Project Islamic Hope, shares his views on empowering the black community and combating stereotypes. Don’t miss this intense debate about racism and sensitivity in America, and find out how you can educate your children. Join the discussion.
