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Topic : 04/07 Will Fights

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Created on : Thursday, November 08, 2007, 07:36:51 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 11/13/07) Has an inheritance that seemed at first like a stroke of good fortune become a dividing force in your family? Meet four sisters bitterly fighting over their aunt’s inheritance. Virginia's original will divided her estate four ways: Pat, Linda and Barbara would each receive $10,000 and Carol, the youngest, would get the remainder of the trust -- approximately $400,000. But the inheritance was split six ways to include Linda’s two kids after Aunt Virginia went to live with Linda. Barbara says she can’t imagine why her aunt would change the trust unless Linda manipulated her. Does Barbara have a case against her sister, or is she just being the family troublemaker? Their mother, Fran, drops a bombshell about the real reason the will was changed. Then, Sondra says she and her husband, Patrick, fight constantly since they blew his $100,000 inheritance in less than a year. After purchasing five new cars, a new TV and furniture, they can’t afford to pay for their daughter’s college tuition. How can this couple end the battle over the buck? Share your thoughts, join the discussion.

Find out what happened on the show.

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April 9, 2008, 1:13 pm CDT

Just a suggestion, if they haven't already tried

I felt it was a sad show, because of the turmoil that the family now feel.  However, I really agreed with Dr Phil when he said that he felt it distasteful to bicker about money and that it was similar to vultures pecking. 

 

I wondered if perhaps anyone had asked the lawyer (whom the aunt used) if indeed the aunt had gone by herself to change the will.   I realise of course that this doesn't prove that she wasn't being harassed by her niece, but it would have been interesting to find out if she did indeed manage to go to change the will by herself.

 

Keep up the great shows, Dr Phil, the world needs your advice. 

 
April 10, 2008, 8:31 am CDT

Hero Quote

Does anyone remember the quote DR. Phil made about "this situation needs a hero here" and someone needs to stand up to make a difference?  I liked the statement and would like the exact quote. I could not

find it in the shows description for this last monday.  Thanks in advance, Robert

 
April 10, 2008, 11:26 am CDT

I agree

Quote From: copyroom

Here is my story. My mom is 89 and failing. She always told us that everything will be divided four ways amongst her four children. My brother moved back into the house thirty years ago, and since then has never worked, contributed, shopped, cooked, cleaned or anything. Yet she has given him the house, it's entire contents, my father's (whom my brother despised) important collection. He has gotten his name on every checkbook, piece of property, as executor, and every other area. When I try to go over and clean for her, she says no. The house is filthy, and he won't even make her a cup of tea. He waits for her to cook him dinner.

What my sister and I are upset about is that he has taken and hidden every family album, piece of memorabilia, scrapbook, family document. Anything that we felt sentimental about, including my mother's wedding dress and my parent's military uniforms and medals. These are not just his things, they should belong to all the children.

My mother has let him get away with this our whole lives, so apparently she doesn't care about our feelings either. My great-aunt left me a special ring from her sister, my grandmother. My mother took it off my finger at the funeral. And yet she is complaining that we don't get along.

It has nothing to do with money. It is about respecting the feelings of all persons involved. It is about the control issues and greed of one person, and the blind favoritism of the parent. Money is nothing, but feelings of respect and love and inclusion are quite a lot.

As far as the women on the show, Linda is nothing more than a dishonest bully, overtalking, interrupting, and staying under the radar of accessing her aunt's accounts. She got that elderly woman into her redone house (which Aunt Virginia paid for) and went to work on her. FInding her a lawyer, indeed! She found her way around everything to get the lion's share.

Barbara is being pilloried because she is the one who clearly believes in honesty and justice. If she were as corrupt as Linda, she would have taken the windfall and been quiet. Instead she chooses to stand up for what is right, and that's commendable. That clears her right there of the charge of greed.

When Dr. Phil got to that point, where he said, "you ended up with more" and she said, "it's about what's right", when the bully butted it to dilute that point, Dr. Phil should have stopped her.

It's all about money and control for Linda. It's about justice and fairness for the other three, and as usual in this world, they lose. Sometimes a relationship with a sister is not worth more than anything, like your self-respect and integrity.
I agree with you completely. I think the core of what is happening with these sisters is what you referred to as "blind favoritism." Why some parents do this is a complete mystery, as it doesn't make any sense. It's often that one child made them feel good one particular day while the others reacted honestly....it's so wrong.
 
April 11, 2008, 5:23 am CDT

04/07 Will Fights

Quote From: pat_inbelg

 No amount of money could ever EVER replace time with a loved one.
These fights are about something else entirely.
Life is SHORT, people! Is this really how you want to spend it???
In some cases, the fights are entirely about money. When my parents died, the lawyers involved were astounded that the 5 siblings agreed and signed off on everything. We were told that sometimes heirs spend most of thier inheritance on lawyers, fighting to make sure that they get what's coming to them. They said that, in thier experience, it's very common for heirs to fight over the inheritance. Very unusual to be able to agree and sign off on everything. For me, I was getting something only because I had been born, and, at that point, both of my parents had died.
 
April 13, 2008, 10:40 am CDT

Dr. Phil should be ashamed by his

What a terrible injustice.  You are accusing a woman, who stopped her life, to take care of her aunt, when no one else would, of being a criminal.

 

CHANGING WILLS IS THE PERFECT CRIME.

 

That might be true in other cases, but not this one.  Why didn't you let Linda talk about what life was like taking care of Virginia?  In less you've done it, you have absolutely no idea how much effort it takes.

 

It seems that if anyone "manipulated" Virginia, it would be Carol.  Why did Aunt Virginia want to leave so much to one child?

 

Instead of chastising Linda, why didn't you support the fact that after living with her, Aunt Virginia made a much more reasonable decision regarding her Will?

 

Linda, don't let your sister take away anything that you did for your aunt.  Continue to do the "right thing".  Very few people these days are willing to do that.  You and your family, in giving to Virginia, also received in sharing Virginia's life, both current and past.  That is something that your sisters will never know.  I'm positive that Aunt Virginia is looking down, smiling with love and thanks for what your family did for her, while at the same time, rolling her eyes up in her head at what your sisters are doing.  I'm sure if there was any questions in Aunt Virginia's mind about making the changes to her will, she is now very aware that she made the right choice.

 

I'm wondering about Barbara.  Did she give her extra $62,000.00 to Carol?

 

DR. PHIL, IF YOU WANT TO DO A STORY ON THE PERFECT CRIME, WHY NOT FIND A FAMILY THAT THE PERSON DYING, CHANGED THEIR WILL FROM A REASONABLE DIVISION AMONG THE FAMILY, TO LEAVING EVERYTHING TO ONE FAMILY MEMBER (OR OUTSIDE THE FAMILY) WHO CHOSE NOT TO CARE FOR OR SPEND TIME WITH THEM.

 
April 13, 2008, 7:52 pm CDT

The Perfect Crime

Quote From: elliethin

What a terrible injustice.  You are accusing a woman, who stopped her life, to take care of her aunt, when no one else would, of being a criminal.

 

CHANGING WILLS IS THE PERFECT CRIME.

 

That might be true in other cases, but not this one.  Why didn't you let Linda talk about what life was like taking care of Virginia?  In less you've done it, you have absolutely no idea how much effort it takes.

 

It seems that if anyone "manipulated" Virginia, it would be Carol.  Why did Aunt Virginia want to leave so much to one child?

 

Instead of chastising Linda, why didn't you support the fact that after living with her, Aunt Virginia made a much more reasonable decision regarding her Will?

 

Linda, don't let your sister take away anything that you did for your aunt.  Continue to do the "right thing".  Very few people these days are willing to do that.  You and your family, in giving to Virginia, also received in sharing Virginia's life, both current and past.  That is something that your sisters will never know.  I'm positive that Aunt Virginia is looking down, smiling with love and thanks for what your family did for her, while at the same time, rolling her eyes up in her head at what your sisters are doing.  I'm sure if there was any questions in Aunt Virginia's mind about making the changes to her will, she is now very aware that she made the right choice.

 

I'm wondering about Barbara.  Did she give her extra $62,000.00 to Carol?

 

DR. PHIL, IF YOU WANT TO DO A STORY ON THE PERFECT CRIME, WHY NOT FIND A FAMILY THAT THE PERSON DYING, CHANGED THEIR WILL FROM A REASONABLE DIVISION AMONG THE FAMILY, TO LEAVING EVERYTHING TO ONE FAMILY MEMBER (OR OUTSIDE THE FAMILY) WHO CHOSE NOT TO CARE FOR OR SPEND TIME WITH THEM.

I found that to be equally offensive.  Linda took this woman into her home.  The others did not.  Why on earth would she give all her money to 1 neice anyway?  That neice did not even take care of her at the end of her life.  IF someone was going to leave you 400 G's wouldn't you be sure to look after her in her old age?  Carol should have given the "disputed" money to her sister Barbara- She did not worry about "fairness" $62,000 worth.  She is just a pot stirrer.  These sisters enjoy drama! 

You all should quit the drama, enjoy the generous gift that  Aunt Virginia left fairly and equally.   The poor mother of these 4 girls.  It makes me happy to have 5 boys!
 
April 14, 2008, 12:13 pm CDT

04/07 Will Fights

Quote From: fromthesquare

Not to be argumentative  BUT I  think the figure was 6,000 dollars monthly- not annually.  Listen more carefully to your morning show next time.  $500.00 a month ( $6,000 a year) won't get you a studio apt.  But if you find a medical facility willing to take you for that annual amount then hurry up and sign on the dotted line!
  Let me correct my former statement.  The $6,000. is for yearly inhome care.  Social Security for that person and being state paid to care for an elderly individual more than covers that.  I hear too many times where a person should get the money because a nursing home would just eat up the money anyway.  As for my future medical facility I'll  live yearly on a cruise ship (equivilant to a nursing home money wise).
 
April 14, 2008, 12:21 pm CDT

Recheck that figure

Quote From: fromthesquare

Not to be argumentative  BUT I  think the figure was 6,000 dollars monthly- not annually.  Listen more carefully to your morning show next time.  $500.00 a month ( $6,000 a year) won't get you a studio apt.  But if you find a medical facility willing to take you for that annual amount then hurry up and sign on the dotted line!
  The amount is $6,000. yearly for inhome care.  The Social Security checks and state paid money for inhome assistance care should more than cover this.  As for myself I plan to live on a cruise ship yearly as being in a nursing home would run about the same.  The care would also be better.
 
April 14, 2008, 12:28 pm CDT

04/07 Will fights

Quote From: snoop_doxie

you have to tell me where an elderly person with dementia can get care for under $6000 a year.

that is an outrageous thing to say.  have you ever had to find a place for an elderly person with dementia?

 

i had to find a place for my mother.  she had dementia and high blood pressure.  she needed someone to help her remember her meds and keep her safe. i found her a spot in a family group home, they took every cent of her social security ($1600 per month) and the residents were all terrified of the homeowners.

 

they fought all the time, making my mother uncomfortable and uneasy.  she was scared and begged me to take her out.  the residents were not  shown any respect unless someone was watching.

 

i hope my mother has forgiven me for putting her in there.  she was happier and less stressed in my small apartment and weekly care from a social service agency. 

  The $6,000. is for inhome care.  Most caregivers feel they are intitled to what a nursing home should recieve and maybe they are worthy of it.  The state also pays a caregiver monthy.  Sorry your mom had to suffer. 
 
July 7, 2008, 2:57 pm CDT

get real girls

My husband and I were both only children.  We would have sold our collective souls for siblings and it makes me sick to see people throwing away that luxury.  My husband is dead, and all of our familes except our two remaining children are gone.  The remaining extended familyis gone.  I am the "matriarch" and that is not an enviable position.  I  lost a child to cancer and the two remaining children treasure each other immeasurably, so I did something right!  Fortunately, the grandchildren are procreating rapidly.
 
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